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Here Is The Giant Bill Simmons <i>NYT Mag</i> Profile You Were All Waiting For
It's called "Can Bill Simmons Win the Big One?" and it's by The Bronx Is Burning author Jonathan Mahler. Never mind that his book was made into an ESPN miniseries and that's not disclosed in the piece....

Chris Pronger Thinks He Is Not On Air, Says A "Shitfaced" Mike Keenan Once Stormed Gretzky's Hotel
Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger stopped by XM Radio's NHL Live studios in New York for a half-hour interview on Friday morning. For a brief interlude, the host threw things to their correspondent in Boston. But the mics remained hot, at least for a few minutes available in the NHL.com podcast edit...

Reaching For The Brass Ring On <em>NCAA Football 12</em>'s Coaching Carousel
Ben Haumiller's got a job for me. Several jobs, actually, but they're all in NCAA Football 12's new career mode, the "Coaching Carousel." Haumiller, the game's producer, explains it all using an offensive coordinator named Owen O'Cain as an… [Kotaku] ...

Ric Flair Found In Contempt Of Court For Owing Wrestling-Merchandise Company $35K. Whooooo!
As if dealing with the passing of associate Randy "Macho Man" Savage wasn't weighing heavily on Ric Flair's mind, The Nature Boy found himself held in contempt of court this week "for failing to repay a loan and autograph photos for a wrestling merchandise company."...

Chone Figgins's Low Batting Average Helps People Get Drunker, Cheaper
Seattle Mariners third baseman Chone Figgins is currently batting .202 on the season. Hitting a notable .087 this past week, manager Eric Wedge sat Chone on the bench for last night's game against the Yankees. There's chatter of moving him down in the lineup; like No. 9 down....

Today In "You Don't Fucking Say"
Headline on a story that checked in at 1,655 words and required the contributions of 10 Associated Press reporters: "Drinking linked to problems in the ballpark stands." [AP]...

Ric Flair's WOOlogy For Randy Savage
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Nature Boy reminisces about Wrestlemania, and launches the Macho Man's candidacy for the...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: “Macho Man” Randy Savage
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who died in a car accident Friday....

The Evil Arrests That Ray Lewis Was Talking About Have Already Started
Free-agent backup running back Garrett Wolfe, late of the Chicago Bears, was charged with retail theft, disorderly conduct, assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest with violence in Miami this morning. This was Wolfe's first newsworthy event since Wednesday when he spoke to the Chicago Sun-...

Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....

Your Preakness Stakes Open Thread
All the horse races and Kegasai in the world won't bring Barbaro back, but the Preakness looks like it's fun, huh? Well technically, it looked a lot funner before the B.Y.O.B. policy broke the infield's decadent soul....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth (Deadspin Classic)
"Macho Man" Randy Savage was killed today in a car accident. Last year, our pro wrestling correspondent paid tribute to Savage's manager and first wife, Miss Elizabeth. She died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....

A Statistical Analysis Of "Macho Man" Randy Savage's Halfway Decent Professional Baseball Career
Randy Poffo spent four season in the minors, playing in the Cardinals and Reds systems, and never rising above Single-A ball. He put down his bat for good in 1975 and picked up a steel chair and became known to the world as Randy Savage, his brief and unremarkable baseball career amounting to nothin...

Bear Plays Tennis
The Deadspin tips line received an email today with this subject: Bear Playing Tennis. It was a thrilling possibility. A bear playing tennis? You just don't see that everyday. We were prepared to make a lot of half-assed rapture jokes about it....

This Poor Dog Is Forced To Sit Outside Mets Games With A Pipe In Its Mouth
As if you weren't already paying too much to see Justin Turner mash on Dillon Gee's behalf, a recent internet groundswell sheds light on another gross perversion inherent in the Citi Field experience. A dog, Coffee, sits outside the stadium, ostensibly for your amusement, in sunglasses or a Groucho ...

More Misplaced Rhetoric From Pro Football Talk
De Smith says the NFL is the "first league in the history of sports that has ever sued to not play their game," which, like a lot of slogans, isn't entirely accurate (the NFL hasn't sued), even if it accurately conveys the sense that the NFL is taking great pains to get its lockout. Mike Florio has ...

Matthew Barnaby Broke Down His Wife's Door, Used Racial Slurs, According To Criminal Complaint
Matthew Barnaby pleaded not guilty to five charges, including a felony, stemming from an incident with his estranged wife and her male companion....

CBS Also Passes On Awful Sitcom About Mark Schlereth's Life
CBS revealed its 2011-12 primetime schedule today. We already knew it would lack the wretched Colin Cowherd pilot, but we now know that it doesn't have that god-awful Schlereth show either....

Washington State Football Refs Punished For Using Pink Whistles
The Washington Officials Association is punishing 143 football referees in the Pacific Northwest Football Officials Association (PNFOA) for wearing pink whistles to support breast cancer awareness and for donating their game checks to the cause. The PNFOA, which had been warned that the plan would b...

For Just $3,000, You Can Own LeBron's Japanese Handprint
When you think of LeBron James, what's the first thing that comes to mind? If you are precisely no one, the answer is $3,000 Japanese handprints. But, lo, a presumably fine fellow from Upper Deck passed along a press release today announcing the sale of those very handprints. There are only 26. In t...