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Luis Suarez Finished A Hat Trick With An Unbelievably Stupid Shot From Just Past Midfield
Liverpool striker and alleged racist Luis Suarez capped off a hat trick against Norwich City today with a ridiculous, stupid strike from 45 yards out. We use the words "ridiculous" and "stupid" here unironically. For him to take this shot with an nearly open pitch in front of him (and teammate St...

Michigan Costumed Vigilante Arrested Following Trailer Park Brawl
Where to begin? Let's start with the Michigan Protectors. The self proclaimed "costumed activists" work to set up neighborhood watches and are part of an online community known as "Real Life Super Heroes." Just so we're all on the same page though, these people do not have super powers, despite wha...

Reports: Matt Leinart To Sign With Oakland Raiders
Look out Bay Area, here comes the party (and lifetime 57.6 completion percentage). Friend of the program, Matt Leinart is ready to move on from his backup role in Houston to a new backup role with the Oakland Raiders. According to Adam Schefter, Leinart will sign with the Raiders and immediately be...

After Today's Arrest, Fox Sports Detroit Has Decided To Call Him "Demon Young" Now
Reader Dave just sent this in. Isn't Young innocent until proven guilty? Not so much....

The Most Unwanted Tickets Of The NBA Season Were In New Orleans
Now that the NBA's regular season is over, it's time to wrap-up our analysis of NBA tickets that had the least demand. Once again, we turned to Will Flaherty, the director of communications for SeatGeek, the online ticket search engine that compiles data from hundreds of resellers. This time, Flahe...

John Cusack In A Goatee? Quoth The Raven: Meh.
John Cusack is one of those actors whom everybody likes. He was a consistently enjoyable presence in '80s films like Better Off Dead and Sixteen Candles, and he won the hearts of a generation of young women by being the most sensitive man ever in Say Anything. Since then, he's been an indie staple (...

Some Dick Prank-Called Mohamed Sanu And Told Him He'd Been Drafted
The Rutgers wide receiver is projected to go in the second or third round, but there's no blaming Sanu for getting his hopes up last night. As Cincinnati prepared to make their pick, someone claiming to be from the Bengals called Sanu and told him they were about to select him 27th overall....

ESPN Party Was Awesome, ESPN Editor Reports
ESPN editor and senior Jonas Brothers correspondent Lynn Hoppes took out his big boy crayons and wrote up this great report from the ESPN The Magazine Pre-Draft Party. My favorite line? It's a tossup between ......

A Roundup Of Figurines With Warning Labels Made Up By Deadspin Commenters
This morning, we posted the photo you see above, which shows a Latrell Sprewell figurine with an unintentionally funny warning label. The image was sent to us by a reader who had recently purchased the figurine at an antique store. Our commenters, naturally, were not content to let the Spree joke st...

Does A High School Hockey Player Deserve Criminal Charges For This Hit?
The parents of a Massachusetts high schooler, who missed most of the season after suffering a concussion in January, wants an assault and battery charge brought against the player who delivered the hit. They might get their wish: the district court clerk magistrate will review the video tomorrow a...

Jack Black Has Overdosed On Himself
There is a moment, I think, when an actor's persona becomes so chiseled and locked-in that it's impossible to accept that person as an actor anymore; he's a movie star now, and that's all he will ever be again. This is not to say this movie star cannot be effective in a film; Tom Cruise hasn't been ...

Latrell Sprewell Figurine Bought At Antique Store Packaged With Unintentionally Funny Warning Label
A reader named Bryan sent us this photo of a Latrell Sprewell figurine, which we've juxtaposed for you above to highlight the warning label on the bottom right corner of the package. Bryan tells us he recently spent $9 on the mini Spree at an antique store "because of how awesome it is. If only PJ C...

The NFL May Put The Pro Bowl Out Of Its Misery
The Pro Bowl is pointless. I know this, you know this, the players sure as hell know it, and the league has been trying little tweaks to hold off the inevitable. But playing it before the Super Bowl hasn't helped, nor has holding it in Miami. According to Chris Mortensen, enough is enough, and the N...

Former NFLer Found Guilty Of Having Sex At Gunpoint With 15-Year-Old Babysitter, Despite His Claim That She Was Totally 16
Nate Webster, a linebacker who played for the Buccaneers, Bengals and Broncos, was found guilty on a split verdict in a Cincinnati court today, for his relationship with the daughter of a Bengals employee....

<em>Scenes From a Marriage</em>, But Longer And With Fart Jokes. <em>The Five-Year Engagement</em>, Reviewed.
1. There are several long stretches in which The Five-Year Engagement is the polar opposite of what anyone would consider "romantic" or "comedy." Jason Segel has always had a tinge of self-aggrandizing self-pity in his characters—the ones he plays, the ones he writes, and both—but for swaths of The ...

What <em>The Avengers</em> Means For The Future Of Comic-Book Movies
Tomorrow, Marvel's The Avengers will open in certain parts of the globe—not the U.S., which won't see the film until May 4—and Marvel's four-year odyssey of laying the groundwork for this action blockbuster will finally be over. It's been an impressive run commercially, if not always critically. (Ca...

ESPN Writer Has <em>The Protocols Of Zion</em> On His Bookshelf
Late last week, ESPN's MMA writer Franklin McNeil appeared on an ESPN.com video previewing the big UFC pay-per-view fight between Jon Jones and Rashad Evans. In the video, McNeil talked about the bout while sitting in front of his bookshelf at his home. Clever D.I.Y. stagecraft! (Just a few weeks ag...

Tiger Stadium Turned 100 This Weekend, Too
Fenway Park's boozy birthday party this weekend brought out the hoi polloi in Red Sox history and even a confused-looking Bud Selig. The fortress of Yawkey Way wasn't the only big-league park that opened 100 years ago, though; Tiger Stadium, too, hosted big-league ball for the first time on April 2...

Manchester United Blew A Two-Goal Lead With Ten Minutes Left To Hold Open The Premiership Door
A win over Everton today would have virtually assured Manchester United yet another Premier League championship—and given the Red Devils were playing at home against a team that has never beaten them in the EPL hasn't won an EPL match at Old Trafford in 20 years, it should have been a lock....

Fox Sports Announcer Thinks He Is Interviewing Canucks' Ryan "The Guzzler" Kesler But Is Really Interviewing Kevin Bieksa
Noted troublemaker Kevin Bieksa of the Vancouver Canucks did a number on poor Mike Dunsmore of Fox Sports Radio following Game 4. Dunsmore apparently approached Bieksa thinking it was Kesler and Bieksa just played along. Right from jump street Bieksa references Kesler's controversial quotes about ...