rap Page 120 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maryland Football Players Will Dress In Whatever Clown Suit Under Armour Tells Them To
These new uniforms are the work of Under Armour. In their combinatoric ugliness, they are seemingly modeled on Nike's gear for Oregon, which is to say the uniforms are there to turn a bunch of under-compensated college kids into dress-up dollies modeling whatever hideous new breathable wear the comp...

For Trivia-Contest Purposes, It's Best To Remember Seattle Isn't In California
During last night's Syracuse Chiefs 5-2 victory over the Gwinnett Braves, two fans vied to win a foam finger in a "Smarter Than An Intern" trivia contest. The secret question (paraphrased): Name the 13 professional sports franchises in California. With the eighth pick, one competitor chose the Sea...

Deaf Minnesotans Probably Equate High-School Football Preseason With Caligulan Rabbit Breeding
Scott Seroka of KARE 11 News in Minneapolis just wanted to tease a back-to-school angle about local high-school football teams returning to two-a-day practices the following week. Closed captioning for the hearing impaired took it from there and added some sexual seasoning....

Here's A Picture Of Justin Tuck, In Full Pads, Pushing A Baby Carriage
Tipster Jack M. says watching 13 seconds of Justin Tuck pushing his baby in a carriage toward Mike Francesa and Tom Coughlin while in full uniform "could be one of the oddest things I've ever seen." Tipster Jack M. probably hasn't seen Michel Lotito in action....

Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On
Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence....

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....

What's All This About Tim Tebow Needing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
I'm a little confused. I wouldn't have believed Tim Tebow would need hormone replacement therapy — he seems like a healthy young man in the prime of his life. Frankly, I would have been shocked if someone told me Tim Tebow needed hormone replacement therapy. But it's a funny funny world we live in, ...

Fox Has Some Odd Advice For What Cole Hamels Should Do On The Pitchers Mound Today
In all likelihood, Kenny Albert probably wishes his broadcast-booth script just said, "Throw a curve" instead of the "drop a deuce" line he just uttered on air....

Maryland, His Maryland: Randy Edsall Is The Lawgiver
Fresh off his BCS success (read: staving off mediocrity a little better than the rest of the Big East), Randy Edsall is the big man on campus in College Park. And while it's nice to feel wanted, Edsall appears to be the type to get drunk off the slightest bit of power. He's bringing in a heavy-hande...

This Is How Kris Draper Ends: Not With A Bang But A Premature Photo Caption
After being traded to the Red Wings for the princely sum of one American dollar, Kris Draper racked up quite the career over 17 years in Detroit. But this past season was a disappointing one for the 40-year-old Draper, in which he missed nearly half his team's games with injuries and (more tellingly...

"Champagne King" Don Johnson Is At It Again, This Time With The U.S. Women's Soccer Team
We've mentioned Don Johnson on this site before, first because of his exploits at the blackjack tables in Atlantic City and later because of his exploits in nightclubs, where he buys enormous bottles of expensive champagne and sprays people with his foam. On Monday, party Johnson popped up in Avenue...

Ricky Rubio Of The Habsburg Empire: Picturing The NBA's Europe Through Geopolitical History
Saturday in Vienna, the remains of Otto von Habsburg — would-be Emperor of Austria, Apostolic King of Hungary, (presumably non-apostolic) King of Bohemia, Dalmatia, Croatia, Slavonia, and Galicia, Lodomeria, and Illyria, and so on, had all those jobs not been downsized when he was two years old — we...

We Hereby Nominate Abby Wambach For U.S. Ambassador Of Headers And Beautiful Goals
The U.S. women's national team advanced to the World Cup final today with a 3-1 win over France. Les Bleues tied it up early in the second half, and looked more energized and aggressive than the Americans, up until Pia Sundhage subbed in Megan Rapinoe (a proven tactic by now) and until Abby Wambac...

Look Ma, No Bra: The Women's World Cup Grows Up With Rapinoe To Wambach
When Brandi Chastain scored the fifth and final penalty kick in the 1999 Women's World Cup to defeat China, I was sitting in front of more big-screen televisions than I'd ever seen before at the Bowl-O-Rama restaurant in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and I was almost eleven years old. After it was over...

This Is How You Rebound After Almost Getting Eliminated From The Women's World Cup On A Questionable Call (Updated With Gus Johnson Call)
The #USWNT just defeated Brazil in penalty kicks in the Women's World Cup quarterfinals. Much will be written about this game, even if women's soccer isn't a sport that much generally gets written about. My contribution? Abby Wambach's goal just felt more remarkable — poetic, even — than Landon Do...

Here's Your Commemorative Keepsake Poster Of The Sun Pornographically Manipulating A Thermometer
In consulting with the National Weather Service and American Red Cross, two USA Today graphic artists apparently found a way to illustrate the dangerous dog-days of summer as a sun blowing and tightly gripping a thermomedong....

A Magical Infographical Tour Through Baseball
Englishman Craig Robinson runs the excellent Flip Flop Fly Ball site, which has, for some time, provided us with infographics much more stunning than those you'd find in USA Today. And now the powers that be have wisely published a collection of those infographics. You can find a few below, but you'...

The Payoff For Sticking Around To Watch A Pretty Cool Shot From Wimbledon Is A Whole Lot Of Grunting
Here's video from when Victoria Azarenka faced Tamira Paszek in the Wimbledon quarterfinals a couple days back. A quick check confirmed that a) Victoria Azarenka and Tamira Paszek are really the names of two tennis players, b) Azarenka won 1 and 3, and c) the Gruntin' Belarusian lost to Petra Kvit...

Who Wants To See Charlie Davies (Mostly) Naked?
I've been dispatched by the other 90 percent of the Deadspin staff to share with you these photos of Charlie Davies, the starting striker for D.C. United who suffered bleeding in the brain, a ruptured bladder, a broken tibia, femur, and elbow, and multiple facial fractures in a car accident in Octob...
