rb Page 205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ohio State Loses Two Commitments From 2020 Class In Wake Of Urban Meyer's Retirement
Ohio State football has already started to feel the effects of Urban Meyer’s decision to retire at the end of this season for health and family-related reasons. Two of the Buckeyes’ seven commitments from the 2020 recruiting class have announced on Twitter that they’ve decommitted from the program. ...
Urban Meyer Resigns, You Know The Drill
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but Urban Meyer is stepping down from his head coaching gig, in part because of his health and in part because he wants to spend more time with family. He even might consider doing some TV! So obviously the only thing to do now is speculate on where he’s goin...
New Spring Football League Holds QB Draft, Remembers Some Guys
The Alliance of American Football begins play in February, so things are starting to get moving. The uniforms are out, and last night the league held a four-round quarterback draft with rules so complicated I won’t try to explain them and you probably won’t try to understand them. But what matters i...
Steelers' Fake Field Goal Ends The Half With A Fat Guy Touchdown
The Steelers offense marched 73 yards down the field before the Broncos defense made three important stops to force Pittsburgh into a 4th-and-goal from the two-yard line. Denver, expecting the chip-shot field goal to end the half, rushed nearly everyone on their side of the ball. That gave Chris Bos...
Gus Johnson Worked Obscenely Hard To Redeem Urban Meyer
Winning tends to heal all wounds in the world of sports. Regardless of the content of your character, people are more likely to remember the athletic highs of your sporting career because the image of lifting trophies tends to be easier to stomach socially than, say, keeping an accused domestic abus...
Two Arkansas Football Players Suspended For Flirting With Opponent's Cheerleaders Instead Of Warming Up
Arkansas football coach Chad Morris announced today that defensive backs Kamren Curl and Ryan Pulley would be suspended for this week’s game against Missouri over some high school football-ass behavior. The pair apparently spent some time before last weekend’s embarrassing 52-6 loss to Mississippi S...
Washington Needs A Quarterback. I Know A Guy!
If you saw what happened to Alex Smith’s leg, you didn’t need the updates. Watching the video was enough to tell you that his tibia and fibula were broken, and that he needed immediate surgery, and that he’s out for the year. It was one of the more gruesome football injuries in recent memory, and ca...
The Ravens Might Actually Have To Start Robert Griffin III On Sunday
Hidden behind the cloud of an injured starting quarterback was a brief glimmer of hope for the Ravens on Wednesday. With Joe Flacco missing practice because of an injured hip, rookie Lamar Jackson became the likeliest candidate to take the helm of Baltimore’s offense on Sunday against the Bengals. J...
Jared Goff Is Shooting His Shot With Halle Berry, I Guess
Jared Goff hoped she would hear it. On the Rams’ first offensive drive of their 36-31 win over the Seahawks, Goff called an audible, and knew the CBS mics would pick it up. “I was like, ‘It’s so quiet right now, this is going to get on TV,’” he said....
Cook For Yourself<em></em>
My wife was out for a girls’ night and I was home alone with my three rowdy kids. To my enormous shame, I have yet to get my two younger kids to eat the same shit that my wife and I eat every night. I cook a regular meal, and then my boys eat chicken nuggets or cheese toast or some other garbage. Wi...
North Alabama Shocks Vanderbilt To Win Their First-Ever D-I Game
In one of the most surprising upsets that could possibly happen this Tuesday evening, North Alabama’s women’s basketball team defeated Vanderbilt 74-71 in the program’s first-ever Division I game....
After All That Nonsense, LaMelo Ball Is Going Back To High School
LaMelo Ball, youngest brother of Lakers guard Lonzo Ball and youngest son of fartbrained wannabe shoe salesman LaVar Ball, will enroll at an Ohio prep school to finish his high-school basketball career, according to Slam Online. It’s not known at this time exactly how this move fits into his overbea...
The Future Of Baseball Won't Look The Way You Expect
Back in 2017, the American League’s top Most Valuable Player candidates were New York’s Aaron Judge and Houston’s José Altuve. Judge, at 6-foot-7 and 280-some pounds and with his ungodly exit velocities and tape-measure home runs, was widely hailed as THE FUTURE OF BASEBALL. In the future, all power...
At Least Nathan Peterman Led The Bills In Rushing?
You’d better be prepared for the Nathan Peterman Experience, because if you’re not he’s going to run your ass over. ...
Maryland Football Players Dispute Punter's Description Of Practice Fight
Maryland backup punter Matthew Barber was involved in a physical altercation with at least one teammate after Tuesday’s team practice, and he later told the Baltimore Sun that he was attacked because other players thought that he had been a whistleblower during the investigation into the football pr...
Dr. Z's Lesser-Known Book Was One Of The Truest Things About Football Ever Written<em></em>
Longtime football writer Paul Zimmerman, better known as Dr. Z, died today at age 86, his former colleague Peter King announced. Zimmerman hadn’t written for years due to a series of strokes, but for a time he was one of the best football writers out there and worth remembering today. Here’s what I ...
The Bills Ran A Play From <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>
The Buffalo Bills went deep into the playbook on their opening drive tonight, running LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory on direct snaps in full house backfield setups. Might as well break out some trickery to try to beat the New England Patriots....
Walker Buehler Is A Goddamn Stud
Max Muncy might have been the hero for the Dodgers in the marathon that was Game 3 of the World Series, but rookie pitcher Walker Buehler was the real star. The 24-year-old showed on Friday that he’s ready to be the next great Los Angeles postseason hero in his seven-inning shutout performance....
Report: The Broncos' Ownership Situation Is Getting Messy
Control of the Broncos organization was passed to a trust in 2014, when Annabel Bowlen announced that her husband, team owner Pat Bowlen, was too diminished by Alzheimer’s disease for him to continue running the team. The Broncos won the Super Bowl the following season, but the years since have been...
How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick Mahomes?<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....