rb Page 385 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Matt Cooke Getting His
The noted cheap shot artist gets knocked out with one punch, and Evander Kane never has to buy a drink in Boston ever again....

The Curious Case Of The Ball State Ass Slapper
A serial bike-mounted butt-slapper has been terrorizing Ball State's campus. Dangerous sexual predator, or harmless fun? The student body is torn....

Mark Sanchez Is Poised ... To Be A Whiffenpoof
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Did Tiki Barber Sleep In His Girlfriend's Dorm Room? (And Other Important Questions)
The New York Post did some more homework on Tiki Barber and his 23-year-old lady friend by interviewing everyone who has ever known, lived with or served the duo pasta. The question now is who you choose to believe?...

The Deadspin Field Guide To Tiki's And Tiger's Barely Legal Liaisons
Two superstars, both caught with (much) younger women. This looks bad, but it's possible for Tiki Barber and Tiger Woods to minimize the damage. We offer some helpful dos and don'ts for everyone on how to conduct their Nabokovian affairs....

The Biggest Supporters Around
To conclude one of the boobsiest days in Deadspin history, here's this picture of some strategically placed fans/cameramen at last night's Thunder-Jazz and Penguins-Capitals trackmeets. Mutton wins again. H/t Eric and Patrick....

Shall I Compare Thee To A Tetherball? Analogizing Baylor's Brittney Griner
Brittney Griner is a 6-foot-8 women's basketball player at Baylor who dunks in games. How to describe her? With analogy!...

Tiki Barber Pulls A Tom Brady On His Pregnant Wife
Famous people don't just get divorced. They have scandals. Like Tiki Barber who is leaving his wife—who is eight months pregnant (with twins)—for a blonde intern half her age. Now that's a breakup....

Last Night's Winner: Butler Haters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Duke Blue Devils, who captured the hearts of basketball fans world-wide by finally stopping the merciless hoops juggernaut known as Butler....

Indy Newspaper, Butler Cheerleader Botch Their "Victory" Celebrations
The Indianapolis Star website may have jumped the gun slightly on their Final Four recap. At least they had the excuse of not yet knowing the outcome. One confused Butler cheerleader was not as fortunate....

If Duke Loses, Will Jim Nantz Say, "The Butler Did It"? Your National Championship Game Open Thread
At the end of the season, Duke and Butler were ranked #3 and #8, respectively, in the ESPN/USA Today coaches poll. This is not Hoosiers. It's not David vs. Goliath. Tomorrow: I eat my words after Duke wins by 30....

Enough With The John Wooden Crap
OK, Butler's a great story, and I realize that a certain amount of, "Hey, it's like that one movie where Gene Hackman gets to hump Barbara Hershey!" is inevitable here, but can we please leave John Wooden out of this?...

Vandy Pitcher Takes Liner Off Knee, Still Gets The Assist
Corey Williams, a redshirt freshman at Vanderbilt, had his knee obliterated by a hot shot up the middle and still recorded the 1-3 putout. I hope the next mound he pitches on has a ramp though....

Coach K, Summed Up In One Smarmy Quote
You know what Mike Krzyzewski loves about a Butler-Duke national championship? I mean, besides that it's fetish porn for the Playing Basketball The Right Way crowd? What Mike Krzyzewski really loves about Butler-Duke is the game's delicious elitism....

Little Girl Cries Over Tweety Carter's Departure From Baylor. We've All Been There.
Via reader Ben comes this video of a 5-year-old girl who's incredibly, adorably distraught over the Baylor guard's approaching graduation. It is, I believe, the distilled essence of every Rivals.com message board in existence. [YouTube; somewhat related]...

Bernie Carbo Was Stoned Out Of His Gourd, All The Frickin' Time
The pinch-hit hero has found God, so he's coming clean about his playing career. Spoiler alert: it involved lots and lots of drugs....

The Downside Of Playing In A Final Four In Your Hometown
Because Butler isn't traveling anywhere for the National Semifinals, the players still have to go to class on Friday. Although, Gordon Hayward has one on game theory, so maybe he can negotiate a victory or something. [IndyStar, via Bentern]...

Flip Murray In A Nutshell: The Incredible, Too-Late Buzzer Not-Quite Beater
Flip Murray hit an amazing half-court shot in last night's Suns-Bulls game. Unfortunately, the third-quarter buzzer had already sounded, and Flip was left to ponder the thin line between glory and a spot on Dazzling Dunks and Basketball Bloopers. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...

More About Pete Rose's Sex Life Than You Ever Knew You Wanted To Know
Rose and his Playboy-bound girlfriend did Howard Stern this morning. It wasn't pretty. They touched on Charlie Hustler's endowment, his stamina, and his semen-encrusted bedroom wall. Don't worry: if you don't click through, I won't be upset. [via SbB]...

"Who Isn't Fighting?" Here's A Better, More Brutal Look At That Lacrosse Brawl
Yesterday, we learned of a ridiculous fight at a lacrosse game. Today, the NLL released a video that shows just how ridiculous that fight was. Some day, they will show this video to schoolchildren to teach them about Darwin. [NLLInsider.com]...