rb Page 393 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Starbury Is Scurred Of Haints
Marbury spent an evening parked outside a New York haunted house signing autographs, but said he was "way too scared" to actually go inside. No, it wasn't Madison Square Garden. [NY Post]...

Starbury And The Knicks, Together In Fail For Eternity
Stephon, true to his word, bought a ticket and sat in the front row at the Knicks game last night. But he was asked to leave, because the ticket he bought wasn't for the front row. Nothing ever changes....

The Best Night Of The Week To Get Piss Drunk
It’s Friday. A glorious weekend of drinking awaits you. You can hardly wait. It’s not five yet, but you yearn to break free of work NOW and drench yourself head to toe in pure Thunderbird....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>Monday Morning Quarterback</em>
Today's excerpt comes courtesy of SI writer Peter King's "Monday Morning Quarterback." Read along in the gallery below about Belichick's wizardry, then come back at 1 p.m. for the live chat in the follow-up post. Enjoy....

The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....

We're Not Going To Have Stephon Marbury To Kick Around This Season
Marbury reports that he has 'shut everything down,' taking the season off to work on his businesses..." I wonder if he's referring to his shoe company or finally working on his comedy pilot, Tokin' With Jesus. [New York Post]...

More Commenting Changes Are Afoot: Wake Up And Read On...
Good morning, early risers/late night partiers. It's going to be a hectic, confusing day here at Deadspin (and most of Gawker media's sites) because, once again, they're dicking around with the comments recipe. Let's chop it up....

BREAKING: Frog (Q-Dying)
The helmet-happy Frog, of our NFLHOTW series appears to be quite ill and unable to recreate football plays this week. Adjust your fantasy football animal rosters accordingly. Developing......

Why Do Bears Hate Alaskan Sports Facilities?
For the second time this month, we've received shocking footage of a bloodthirsty sports bear laying waste to a major Alaskan city. Is it really necessary to level Fairbanks with a pickaxe to just pump up a crowd?...

The Roller Derby Twins Spectacle
I was a little alarmed to find out the NY Times did a huge feature on Katie and Kristy Barry, two nice young woman whom I had the pleasure of meeting for a drink a couple weeks ago....

Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Touchdown, Big Boy
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...

The Lost Poise
Mark Sanchez threw three picks in yesterday's loss to the Saints, and on the season he has five interceptions against four touchdowns, all of which means that sportswriters must now address the grave matter of Sanchez's inexplicable lack of poise....

Angry Interplanetary Ice Bear Will Destroy Anchorage, Bring Back Hockey
Seriously, this bear is fucking pissed. Wouldn't you be if you were the mascot for an obscure college hockey team in Fairbanks and then got banished to the stars? I would certainly want to smash some shit up, starting with that small moon over there. Do not fuck with the Nanook Space Bear....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Favre Did It!
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Respiratory Illness Will Not Slow Tim Tebow
In case Florida fails to crush another mediocre SEC opponent tonight, Urban Meyer can safely recycle his flu excuse. Sickness has ravaged the Gators, including Tim Tebow, who flew to Lexington on a separate plane last night. [Dr. Saturday]...

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Frank Gore's 80-Yard Gallop
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Cross Country Hazing Gets A Little Vampiritic
One college track athlete learned the hard way that, rather than giving you the strength of your enemies, drinking blood will only get you kicked out of school and deported....

I'm Sure He Has The Same Heidi Watney Airbrush On The Side Of His Van
Well, maybe it's her uncle. A very proud, very creepy uncle. There's a chance of that, right? [Busted Coverage]...