rb Page 399 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Intolerable Cruelty: Our Women Ruminate On The Art Of The Prank
It's time for Waxing Off, the Deadspin feature that will go topless if you throw it beads. This Friday's topic: Sports pranks....

Maurice Clarett Seeks Salvation, Bandwidth
Maurice Clarett: Prison blogger? Yep, the former running back who is serving time for robbery and other charges has been blogging from prison since Oct. of 2008, according to his archives....

Knicks Finally Part Ways With Marbury
New York finally ended their feud with Stephon Marbury and sent him off into the night. Now that our long national nightmare is over, the question becomes—what are the Celtics getting themselves into?...

George Mason's Homecoming Queen Is A Dood (With Video)
What would American revolutionary and founding father George Mason say if he knew that a gay man had been elected homecoming queen at the University that bears his name? Probably: "What's a homecoming queen?"...

FBI To Tackle Baffling Super Bowl Porn Case
Never fear America: The FBI is making sure that there will never again be an incident of Super Bowl TV porn. However, all anthrax letters will be delivered as usual....

Stanley Pringle Still Ignoring Your Creative Taunts
As basketball nicknames go, The Library Masturbator is probably greater than even Dr. J or Black Mamba. Man, I hope Stanley Pringle makes it to the NBA....

Yeah, I'd Imagine Vitamin Water Ad People Can't Be Too Happy With This (Update)
At an NCAA athletic conference on January 15th, it was revealed that some VitaminWater flavors contain "impermissible or banned substances", which could lead to suspensions for some athletes....

ESPN Is Giving Scott Van Pelt Some Quiet Time (UPDATE)
Last week, ESPN's Scott Van Pelt hammered Bud Selig about the MLB Commissioner's $18.5 million salary.A little too much, apparently: SVP was suspended from his radio show on Monday, according to multiple WWL sources....

Andy Rooney's Experience At Super Bowl XLIII
Apparently there was one person who wasn't that impressed with all the excitement of Super Bowl XLIII and it had nothing to do with the outcome. It's "60 Minutes" professional curmudgeon, Andy Rooney....

Actually, Port-A-Jumping Is A Rich Horse Racing Tradition
So another reader has checked in and claims that the art of port-a-john jumping was actually perfected at the Kentucky Derby in 2007, as these photos demonstrate....

Breakfast Fail: Intrepid Reporter Attempts To Eat Five Denny's Grand Slams
Remember the Denny's Super Bowl ad that promised free breakfast to everyone in America? Two million were served on Tuesday between 6 a.m. and 2 p.m., including five to one Chicago Tribune reporter alone....

Santonio Holmes Toes Have Also Touched A Nerve
A full-scale battle of the screen-grabs has been waged between Mattoonian Buzzsaw Emeritus and seemingly every Pittsburgh Steelers fan with access to a computer. Even the Politico readers are pissed....

Adult Site Will Compensate Viewers Whose Porn Was Interrupted By Super Bowl
This joke is going to get old very fast, but kudos to the adult film studio Pink Visual for being among the first to think of it....

When Does "Roller Derby Night In America" Start?
Roller Derby is slowly coming into its own as legitimate sport—with national tournaments, big-time media exposure, and no more fights! All they need is a Versus contract and they're bigger than the NHL. [NYTimes]...

James Harrison's $800,000 Touchdown
Poker player Phil Ivey bet $800,000 on the Cardinals +3.5 for the first half of Super Bowl XLIII. I believe that is what's known as a "bad beat." [Phil Ivey Rules?]...

Lane Kiffin: Urban Meyer Cheats (And Not Very Well) (Update)
If Lane Kiffin wants to revive Tennessee's rivalry with Florida, stealing two committed players on Signing Day and then publicly accusing the Gators of a recruiting violation is a good way to start....

TWO FEET DOWN
Steeler Nation sees your one toe and raises you another, Buzzsaw boy. [SteelersDepot]...

The F. Scott Fitzgerald Super Bowl Controversy That Wouldn't Die
Of all the cockamamie controversies surrounding the Super Bowl ... did two columnists actually criticize sideline reporter Alex Flanagan for quoting F. Scott Fitzgerald? And did Keith Olbermann jump to her defense on his show?...