Last Night's Winner: Clappers

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who enjoy giving standing ovations every time they hear something they like. Try this in your regular life today and see how it goes.

You wife tells you she's going to drop off the dry cleaning today? Applause. Starbucks employee asks if you want extra foam? Applause. Boss says he's giving you a raise? Applause. Boss tells you that you have to work on Saturday? No applause! See, that's the beauty of the standing ovation. Not applauding becomes an equally effective tool for showing your disapproval. Nothing says to a person who is talking to you, "I do not like the proposal you have just offered to me" like sternly sitting still with your arms crossed. Maybe shake your head slowly or shout out "Liar!" when you're really peeved.

Seriously, give it a shot today and report back. I think it will make all our lives easier and more civil. At the very least, it will confuse the hell out of people.

Honorable Mention: The Commodores. First place in the SEC, but I still say they haven't been the same since Lionel Richie left. (This joke sponsored by the year 1983.)