rb Page 412 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Butler Bulldogs
1. If your erection lasts for more than four hours, Brad Stevens may know how to help. Prior to becoming a college basketball coach, Butler coach Brad Stevens worked for Indianapolis-based drug company Eli Lilly, makers of Cialis. That Stevens worked for Eli Lilly was no surprise, given that he play...
Never Challenge Blake Hoffarber To A Game Of H.O.R.S.E.
When they were handing out natural disasters in the NCAA conference tournaments, the SEC came up with tornadoes. The Big Ten ended up with lightning striking twice. (The MAC? Perpetual darkness.) Minnesota's Blake Hoffarber's last-second desperation jumper to beat Indiana 59-58 was brain-exploding u...
Steve Spurrier Enjoys Oats, Hay, Mounting Mares
For years, SEC opponents have been referring to South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier as a horse's ass. Now, once and for all, he is a horse. And he might just make the Kentucky Derby....
High Tech Underpants For The Sportsman On The Go
For those of you who are planning to take advantage of that NCAA Tournament vasectomy special we mentioned over the weekend, you're surely gonna need a pair of these for your recovery period. I own several pair, and I'm not even considering surgery....
For Baylor, The Bubble Is A Really Healthy Place To Be
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....
The Future Of Baseball, As Told By Japanese Programmers
Today's TV has some quality games, plus a little bit for everyone. Some hockey, basketball, NASCAR ... but no baseball. So if you need your baseball fix, why not try Super Baseball 2020 for the Genesis or Super Nintendo, where there's no such thing as foul territory beyond the first and third bases....
Yet Another Reason To Loathe Starbucks And Ridicule Dumb Defensemen
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
The Super Bowl Commercial They Wouldn't Let You See
Can't decide if this is great or merely interesting, but my dog liked it a lot. Here's a Bud Light commercial that was supposed to have been shown during the Super Bowl, but was banned by the FCC. Found this over at BostonSportz. It's new to me, anyway....
Spending a Night With Oscar
The Academy Awards might not have anything to do with sports, but they give me an excuse to run this picture from Sports Wrap. Plus, there's going to be plenty of Jon Stewart, cleavage, and gambling opportunities, all things a lot of us enjoy. Follow after the jump for my bets and my pick for best c...
I'm Buying Whatever He's Selling
In other news, the real Bill Belichick is still at large....
Not the Greatest Career Swing for Lord Byron
The Falcons yesterday parted ways with seven players, including four-time Pro Bowl tight end Alge Crumpler and quarterback Byron Leftwich, who has capped a rapid descent from starting quarterback to journeyman with an unsure future....
There's No 'I' In 'Douchebag'
Drew over at KSK asked Johnny at Metroville to write a piece about what it means to be a Patriots fan, one week later. We decided it would be a better fit here. You decide....
The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...
This Seems Fitting
The Knicks have lost intern-boinking virus Stephon Marbury for the rest of the season. Marbury, who had hoped to return this year after undergoing ankle surgery to remove bone spurs, will now be relegated to hopping around by himself, most likely in a pair of cheaply made (but very affordable) sneak...
So What Was Up With Those Awful Super Bowl Commercials?
Gupta has recently apologized for the ads and pulled the panda one from the airwaves, but this whole thing is probably going exactly to plan....
In Reebok's Alternate Universe, The Patriots Are 19-0
You had to figure that Reebok filmed two versions of its Perfectville Super Bowl commercial, and indeed, here it is; as reported by Larry Brown Sports. The highlight for me is the deliveryman with the "Patriots 19-0" T-shirt … possibly the only one of those still remaining in the Northern Hemisphere...
The Final Jamboroo And The Art Of Being A Sports Fan Without Watching Sports
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Well, until today, anyway....
Light Dawns On The Patriots
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...