rb Page 412 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Inside the Infield at Churchill Downs
Just because you don't really give a crap about horse racing doesn't mean you shouldn't be enjoying yourself like the happy-go-lucky types at the OTB. The Kentucky Derby is really just one huge ass party divided in two parts. The rich guys and southern belles cougars wear their most ridiculously ex...

Your Derby Morning Horsey Preview
This may come as a surprise to some, given my affinity for sports nobody else likes, but I don't know dick about horse racing. That's why I've brought in reader Randy King to provide a little bit of knowledge while we wait to lose lots of money. His words are after the jump....

War Emblem Isn't Interested In Breeding; Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
You've probably seen this by now, but, alas, it's still great. War Emblem is tired of the dating scene. Take this farm, for instance; everyone here is such a phony. He'd rather stay in his stall and curl up with a nice Dee Mirich poem, if you want to know the truth. The race horse, who won the Kentu...

And It's C-m Rocket In The Lead!
This weekend, those of you who are equine-obsessed or have an affinity for minty rum drinks and giant pink hats, will most likely have a rooting interest in the most exhilarating two minutes in sports, the Kentucky Derby. Right now, the favorite horse is a strapping young colt named "Big Brown", a n...

Your One-Stop Kentucky Derby Guide
The Kentucky Derby is this weekend. That's fun! Horses! We don't know a lick about it, so we asked Angelo Grasso, of The Gowanus Rotisserie Baseball Gazette, to preview the race for us. Maybe you can even make yourself some money....

1st Round, Twelveth Overall: Broncos Select Ryan Clady
Clady is the first football player ever to leave Boise State early. Why would anyone ever leave Boise early? Come to think of it, why would anyone go to Boise?...

1st Round, Second Overall: Rams Take Chris Long
Did you know that Chris Long is Howie Long's son? No kidding! The media really has been doing a swell job keeping that tidbit under wraps. Yes, Long is the scion of the Hall of Fame lineman and impeccably-coiffed FOX analysis android. Howie Long was so spectacular in his playing days that a pass ru...

Dolphins Take Jake Long First Overall
Greetings, fellow podium gazers! It's great to be spending Saturday afternoon with you and not my family. And what better way to kick things off but with some four day old news! When we last saw Bill Parcells, he was sitting in the owner's box watching the Dolphins' final game, looking like a late...

ESPN Wants You To Write Their Eulogy
Picture, in your mind, a world without ESPN. No SportsCenter. No scrolling tickers. No Skip Bayless. Frightening, yes, but we're all adults here, and nothing created out of one's imagination is lethal. Now, take those feelings, and put them into words. Now send them to ESPN, because they'd like to c...

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend
Everybody has a favorite sports urban legend. Some like the Rafael Palmeiro Sleeps With Ryne Sandberg's Wife one. Others are fans of the Kevin Mitchell Cuts The Heads Of Cats one. Our preference has always been the Orioles Canceled A Game Because Cal Ripken Couldn't Play Because He Found Kevin Costn...

Tracking Erin Andrews' Web-Centric Path To Stardom
Swoopy-haired USA Today writer Michael Hiestand has a mini-profile of everyone's favorite TV sports princess, Erin Andrews, which attempts to tactfully explain her internet popularity without sounding sleazy or sexist. He succeeds (mostly), and serves up this McDonald's-friendly description:...

Springtime For Meyer
• In Progress — CFB: Florida Gators Spring Game. Tebow is sick and Harvin has heel problems that tend to plague men of similar greatness. [ESPN] • In Progress — Tennis: WTA Bausch & Lomb Championships, Semifinal. It's Maria Sharapova and Lindsay Davenport if I'm not mistaken. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Hockey...

John Elway Is Always Watching You, Jay Cutler
We're hardly a booster of the "hard" "drinking" Jay Cutler, but as Jake Plummer can tell you, it's not easy being a starting quarterback in Denver. (Boy, we're all about Colorado today, aren't we?) Particularly when John Elway is second-guessing him all the time....

Media Approval Ratings: Tiki Barber
We think it's very possible that Tiki Barber might go down in the history books not as a former running back for the New York Giants, but, in fact, as a world-class maker of omelets. And we have a suspicion that he would have no problem with that....

Seriously, This Is Getting Ridiculous
The photos of Roy Williams signing the belly of a Hooters girl provide a cute, funny moment for Kansas fans and other Williams detractors who may think a man of such coaching stature should not be hanging around with the jiggly-boobed wing-servers. But perhaps even more fascinating than that was th...

Stephon Marbury Is Being Called Out, Kind Of
As if Stephon Marbury weren't having enough trouble — and hey, who's having more trouble than a guy making $20 million while "rehabbing" an "injury?" — he's now being called out by old Coney Island pal Jamel Thomas....

I'm Your Beer Bong Man, Stop Me As I'm Passing By
Last year on Opening Day, the Milwaukee Brewers faithful unveiled the beer pong orgy. This year they've made it a more intimate occasion, ensuring that each and every Brewers fan gets adequately blasted. Bringing the love back into binge drinking, now that's what it's all about....

Ron Mexico's Prison Pen Pal
Considering how much Falcons owner Arthur Blank stuck by Ron Mexico for years, before that dog-fighting business, it should perhaps be little surprise that he's still corresponding with Vick while he's in the slammer. How's he doing, anyway? Has he organized a team to beat the prison guards yet?...

Amazingly, No Perfect Brackets, On Earth
Well, we're sorry to say, for all those who have become tired of our ramblings over here, that we will remain editor of Deadspin; with just one weekend gone in the tournament, none of the 3,472 entries in our bracket contest has nailed every game. Alas; our offer will stand for next year as well....

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0
You've scored some well-earned vacation time, and you're booked for a week or two at the finest resort you can find. Time to check in, unpack, and ... order room service? A larger TV? Five-diamond hookers? Well, no; if you're Denver Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall, it's time for a McDonald's ...