rb Page 418 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wait, College Athletes Have Nice Cars?
Anyone who has gone to a university with a prominent sports program can tell you about the experience of seeing one of your player driving a vehicle that you wouldn't think they'd be able to afford. We can all justify it in our brains, hey, they just saved up for it, but we all know better. But do w...

A Christmas Eve Game You Can Guiltlessly Ignore
We suppose, if they have to play a game on Christmas Eve, we appreciate that it's a game that doesn't really matter. Maybe there's a few fantasy stragglers counting on it, but that seems about it....

Thanks To ESPN, It'll Be Our Merriest Christmas Ever
This Christmas why not give the card that says "Not only am I cheap, but I have no sense of humor."? It's Holiday Smack Cards from ESPN; which can be sent to friends and loved ones, and hilarity is sure to ensue. That is, if your idea of humor is a toilet flushing. I can just picture some folks at P...

Look, Ugly Yankees Merchandise
So, you're about nine hours from Christmas, and you still haven't bought anything. You're screwed, pretty much. Shame, too; if you had thought ahead, you could have had some hideous New York Yankees gear....

Pretend It's A Playoff Game, And The Heat Are Suddenly Good Again
Let's see if I got this right. The Miami Heat are still supposed to be good because Shaquille O'Neal is still tall, Dwyane Wade is still making commercials, and Pat Riley's hair gel also doubles as a love potion, or so claimed the highly motivated salesman and his cardboard kiosk. But even after Wad...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN searched its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

There's Something About Mirich
I used to think that I knew what Dee Mirich was writing about. I would read her impassioned, fractured poetry on various horse racing message boards, and nod knowingly. "Yes," I would say to myself, "Angels DO prefer hitching their horses to rainbows." But lately, Dee has been listing toward crazy e...

Rory Sabbatini And Roo
Rick linked to this yesterday, but I don't care. Video of a masturbating kangaroo interrupting play at the Australian PGA Championship last week is exactly the type of "sports news without discretion" you come here for. Well, that, and Nightmare Ant....

Look, Kids! Football!
Hey, so here's something: There's an NFL game tonight! No, really! Don't worry, though: It's a game between two teams you don't care about, on a network you can't watch. So relax....

About Last Night
Twas The Night Before The Mitchell Report, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring (LaRussa was soused) ... • Man, I really hope there's a George Mitchell action figure with "Special Envoy to Northern Ireland kung fu grip" under the Mitchel Report Tree tomorrow. — Hank Scorpio...

We Congratulate "Florida Quarterback" On His Heisman Trophy
One of the nice things about college athletes is that you don't have to pay them. Heck, it might be the best thing about college athletes. Seriously, look at them: They can put their bodies and lives on the line every week, and we don't have to give 'em nothin'. Amazing, right? And if they do really...

Which Is The Best Fictional Sports Jersey Of All Time?
This is a bit old, but it needs to be addressed. Someone has posted what they purport to be a list of the top 10 fictional sports jerseys of all time. But by any standard the list is sadly lacking; only a couple of these should even make the top 25 (grumble, grumble get off my lawn). Also, the Dalla...

Tom Petty Set To Rock Your Balls Off At Super Bowl XLII
For those of you who take your musical cues from the National Football League, you should be happy this year: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are playing the halftime show. Well, at least your dad will be happy. If he's stoned....

Even Australia Frowns Upon Drinking And Torturing Animals
It may not be dogfighting or cat juggling, but quokka abuse ranks right up there in the annals of asshattery. And a couple of Australia's finest rugby players are guilty of abusing the endangered marsupial animal on Rottnest Island. (In their defense, they appeared to be drunk.)...

Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....

SHOTY First Round: Pac Man Jones Vs. Norby!
Every single SHOTY first-round matchup has been a blowout. We are not sure this will be any different; the Deadspin Planet is of one mind these days....

NCAA Blogdome: Will The Madness Ever End?
As much as I'd like to discuss yesterday's crazy college game, I fear I wouldn't do it any justice. Whoa, whoa, wait a second. Where have I heard that line before? Oh, that's right ... the last time LSU lost a triple OT football game! (Creepy, eh? I must have like cool anti-Tiger powers or something...

That Gripping AFC West
We will confess, we did not watch the Monday Night Football game last night; we had a concert, the Illini were on and, frankly, we're gonna get enough football in the coming days. But we take solace in knowing there's a division worst than the Buzzsaw's NFC West....