really Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Mets Spent An Hour Listening To Various Versions Of The Oasis Classic "Wonderwall"
I've always wanted to be in a major league clubhouse before a game, just to see what goes on. I imagine a lot of messing around, playing video games and guys hiding from Pedro Gomez. And blasting music, of course....

How To Burp Like A World Champ In 5 Steps, Featuring Competitive Eater And Burping World Champ Tim Janus
The results from the 2011 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest tell us that Tim "Eater X" Janus is the third-best hot-dog eater in the world. He owns world records for speed-eating burritos, sushi, and ramen noodles....

Darth Vader Defeated A Taser But Succumbed To Pepper Spray In Orlando Last Week
From ClickOrlando, and via tipster Joshua K., comes this tale about how "a Florida Highway Patrol trooper was attacked in Orlando early Thursday by a man wearing a Darth Vader mask."...

Celebrating A Spectacularly Inept Series In College Football History
Georgia defeated Tennessee in a wacky game on Saturday. The highlight was a fourth-quarter Georgia series in which the Bulldogs reached Tennessee's 23-yard line and were promptly penalized four times for 45 yards: Holding, holding, holding, personal foul. In between, the Bulldogs managed to run the ...

This Is A Story About An Ohio High-School Football Game Resulting In Stigmata
"In one of the most disturbing acts by an individual high school athlete in recent times, an Ohio football player placed a sharp object — believed to be a tack — in his glove before walking through a postgame handshake line, pricking the hands of 27 opponents as he walked through and "congratulate...

So, Michelle Beadle Apparently Sucked On Linda Cohn's Leg Today
Two girls, one Nike product-placement victory. Per @SarahSpain, "Thank god @ESPN_Michelle had that rattlesnake training. Her Texas upbringing saved @lindacohn 's life." Aw. (H/T Obsessed With Sports)...

Joe Morgan Led The World's Largest Chicken Dance With Attractive Ladies In German Dresses Yesterday
Oktoberfest Zinzinnati got underway in Cincinnati yesterday. In addition to "music from Bavarian band Musikkapelle Hopfenblaesers" and "The World Bratwurst Eating Championship," there was revelry and there was dance....

Arkansas State's Football Coaches Have Uniquely Suggestive Play-Calling Signals
They may have lost 26-7 to Virginia Tech this weekend, but the coaching staff of the Arkansas State Red Wolves made quite an impression on tipster Doug W....

Watch An All-Male Dance Troupe Take The Field At Halftime Of The Saints/Titans Game
When it came to the Saints getting throttled by the Titans in the final preseason game of the year the other night, here's what one guy wrote:...

This Year, You'll Be Able To Get Fresh Ink At Islanders Games
"The Islanders have struck up a partnership with Tattoo Lou's and will be inserting a new shop owned by them into the arena. [Blue Line Station] (H/T Brian B. and Hockey News)...

Things Are Going To Be A Little Different In Winnipeg When The Jets Resume NHL Play
The key to understanding what Rob Milette's true role with the Winnipeg Jets will be isn't in knowing the difference between rapists and athletic rapists....

Here's Video Of Villanova's Basketball Coach Prancing About To A Katy Perry Song
Oh hey, that's Villanova University's head basketball coach Jay Wright letting his colors burst in a flash-mob dance routine set to Katy Perry's "Firework," isn't it?...

Justin Timberlake At The All-Star Game: Drunk, Sarcastic, Drunk-Sarcastic, Or Just Obnoxious?
Justin Timberlake has redeemable qualities, doesn't he? He can sing and dance, he is a good SNL host, and he reportedly even has feelings. All this is more than we can say about Joe Buck. So no matter your opinion of the former boy band front-teen, he deserves some credit for agreeing to a live-br...

Stephen A. Smith's The One Starting Rumors About LeBron's Personal Life
If you tuned in to the ambient noise of the ninth circle of hell this morning, you heard Stephen A. Smith on Mike and Mike talking about LeBron James. And why yes, he did throw some shit at the wall. SportsGrid has the audio, as well as this summary:...

For Just $400,000, You Can Buy This Portland-Based Co-Ed Kickball Team
From Deadspin's Portland Bureau—tipster Scott—comes a rec league kickball story. Sorry. Keep in mind this Craigslist ad was originally all in caps:...

Maple Leafs' Swedish Goalie Prospect Is A Terrible Rapper
Toronto signed Mark "In Da Park" Owuya, a 21-year-old goalie prospect from Sweden, to an entry-level contract on Thursday. Last season, Da Park had a 2.18 goals-against average and a .927 save percentage in goal for Djurgarden, of the Swedish Elite League....

Iowa Gives Coaching Award To Man Whose Workout Sent 13 Players To The Hospital
Back in January, 13 Iowa football players were hospitalized for treatment of "exertional rhabdomyolysis," or an "acute breakdown of muscle fibers resulting in the release of muscle fiber contents (myoglobin) into the bloodstream." Basically, the Hawkeyes were pushed too hard in their workout routine...

There's A Really Tall Jamaican Girl Roaming Philadelphia This Weekend
It's hard out there for 6-foot-11 high-school-junior gals. People gawk. Of course, there's probably solace on the basketball court. Because people gawk while you learn how to totally dominate. Like Marvadene Anderson from Rutgers Prep is trying to do....

Remembering The "Lorchcast," Worst Sportscast Ever
On Dec. 19, 1995, Matt Lorch, a fill-in sportscaster for KHQA in Quincy, Illinois, endured nearly six minutes on-air with malfunctioning videos, unplanned catch-phrases, and one of the most heartbreaking sighs ever sighed. Fifteen years later, we remember Lorchcast....

German Santa Drunkenly Stumbles, Pisses, Falls His Way Into History
Bookmark this one for the day when you don't deliver your kid everything he or she asked Santa slide down the chimney with. Hell, bookmark this for when your family looks at you all judgmental while funneling nog....