red-sox Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Jumps Shark, Lands In Madness
Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, global warming takes a firm hold and mankind is left to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the love of God, not yet. As you might have...
Who Is This Old Man In My Online Baseball Schedule?
So I'm perusing the Giants schedule on their MLB site and look what I see on May 22. Apparently we're all going to the movies! I expect to see ads on the periphery of my baseball schedule, but within the schedule itself? It's just one small step from that to Doritos ads on players' uniforms. (They'r...
But Where Are Rich Garces' Tits?
And...we're off. Welcome to today's first plummet into non-newsworthy despicability intended for the sole purpose of making your work day more amusing....
So Let Me Introduce To You, The One And Only Jimmy Shields ...
There's no way to sugarcoat this so I'm just going to say it: We live in a world where the Rays and the Marlins are both in first place. It's a world where James Shields outpitches Josh Beckett, where Sweet Caroline is played at Tropicana Field, and where Manny Ramirez is stealing bases. Me no like ...
Red Sox Wine List Thankfully Missing "Sweet Carowine"
The Red Sox, hawking wine for charity and sheer annoyance. [Sox & Dawgs]...
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
Hold Onto The Damn Ball, Dude
We've never been fortunate enough to grab a baseball at a game, but if we did, we suspect we'd jump around and act the fool for whatever camera happened to be within eye's reach. We'd be that excited. One thing you can guarantee, though, is that we'd hang onto the damned ball. Unlike this Red Sox fa...
Everyone In Boston Is Already Drunk
We're not enough of a Bostonite to understand that full drunken social significance of Patriots Day, but we assume we'll have a smaller Boston readership today; they're all out drinking like crazy and screaming for Kenyans to run faster. Difficult to argue with that....
You Know It's Baseball Season When Fat Yanks-Red Sox Fans Are Killing Each Other
Last week, the Red Sox and Yankees battled it out at Yankee Stadium. You might have heard about it. But we just today saw this shot above and, more to the point, the rather amazing video after the jump of a real, live Yankees-Red Sox fan fight....
Schilling's Doctor Perfects The Art Of Crap-Talking
Apparently, even Curt Schilling's personal physicans have big mouths. In an act of either monumentally selfish publicity hounding or a Herculean display of testicular fortitude, Dr. Craig Morgan, Schilling's "personal doctor", said that Curt was so infuriated with the Red Sox handling of his bum sho...
Ortiz Slump Officially Over. Thanks, Yankees!
Here's the thing, Yankees fans. You may have thought that you were heading off some sort of curse by digging up that David Ortiz jersey that was buried beneath your new stadium. But consider this: While the jersey remained buried, it's owner was hitting .070; last in the majors. In his first game ba...
New York Now Free From The Menace Of Buried Cloth
There have been a little more than 9,000 unsolved murders in New York City since 1985; many of the victims buried in cement, do doubt. But thank God we've solved this case: The Yankees have dug up a Red Sox jersey on Sunday that had been planted beneath their new stadium by a construction worker. An...
Buckner's Awkward Re-Return To Fenway
I guess it's not really the appropriate time where you sprint out to the mound, but dude, honestly, he's walking out there like he just let the ball go threw his legs again. Then again ... that is the only reason he's out there. So, in reality, he has to make that long fucking walk again (longer eve...
Terror From The Sky At Fenway Park
It may seem as if I'm writing this post under the influence of peyote, and believe me, I'm not above trying that. But in this case I'm sober and it's all true: A girl who was part of a school group touring Fenway Park on Thursday was attacked by a red-tailed hawk, who delivered a decisive hawk beat-...
Red Sox Fans, Spread Among The 100,000. What Could Go Wrong?
We really wish we would have attended the Red Sox-Dodgers exhibition game at the Coliseum last weekend, if just because a fight was inevitable....
China Has Addressed Our Pooping Needs
Breaking news in the Beijing Olympics controversy: They're fixing the toilets. I've prayed for this day (dabs at eye with hankie). It makes sense. The Chinese government realized that if it wants the Olympics to run efficiently, then it needs to address this pressing issue. Simply put, American athl...
Japan Games End, But Opening Day Is Just Beginning
This photo pretty much explains the lunacy of the Red Sox-A's series in Japan. They had all this pageantry before the second game. Each of these teams is pretty much going to have four opening days. You could argue the Red Sox will have five....
And So The Red Sox Love Begins
Say what you will about having the start of the baseball season happen in Japan, but, all told, it's not too shabby to come into work and watch the end of a game while drinking your coffee. And if you're a Red Sox fan, it's doubly pleasant....
At Last, The Glory Of Youkilis Is Introduced To Japan
Well, it's doesn't feel the start of the baseball season tomorrow morning — jeez, like, 11 hours from now — but it is, in fact, the beginning: The Red Sox and the A's, in the Tokyo Dome, 6 a.m., baseball is here ... kind of....
Your AL East "Preview"
The baseball season officially kicks off tomorrow, though no one will really think of baseball as happening until next Monday. (Or maybe that Braves-Nationals game on Sunday night.) So we figured this would be the last week to actually start previewing each division. So we're gonna hit one a day, s...