ric Page 588 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

Bad Beats: Handicapping An <i>American Idol</i> That Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Derrick Rose Floats One Off The Glass, And The Bulls Take The East
Last night, the Chicago Bulls defeated the Celtics by 16 points, 97-81. In doing so, they effectively clinched the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the first time since the 1997-98 season — Chicago would have to lose the remainder of its games and the HeatCeltics would have to win the rest o...

Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....

I-Team, Do You Know Who This Perpetually Courtside Bulls Fan Is?
Busy day for you guys, we recognize. But tipster Tom has written in with a pressing question:...

Mark Cuban Will Pay College Journalists Something To Do Something With Data About Something Having To Do With Sports
Mark Cuban does not much appreciate this blog, I have learned. Or didn't, once upon a time. In fact, Cuban does not much appreciate sports journalists in general. He's been in the sports biz for 12 years and thinks the "the dumbest guys in the room are always the media guys." Cuban, of course, think...

We Can Infer From This Video That Heidi Watney Does Not Like Her Food Fried
Baseball's on-field reporters, much like NBA's sideline reporters, are often sent to ask asinine questions and do asinine things on camera. It's a part of the job. Today in Cleveland, as the Sox did indeed crawl their way into an 0-6 start, NESN sent Heidi Watney to try Progressive Field's chicken...

There's A Teenage German Girl Who Rides Cows Like They're Horses
Regina Mayer's parents wouldn't buy her a horse so she went into the family barn, picked out cow and cultivated a loving, respectful relationship. Today, Regina climbs upon Luna's back and engages in a modified version of eventing near the Austrian border....

LeBron James Gets Stake In Liverpool, Joins Unofficial Club For The Filthy Rich
LeBron James is smiling because even after an embarrassing hour-long ESPN special this summer that maligned him to the majority of humans not residing in South Beach, and even after his hometown fans burned his Cleveland jerseys and turned his name into a curse word, and even after his new team face...

The Epic Story Of A New Jersey Prosecutor Who Stole My Idea And Made Fantasy Baseball History
"I got Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens."...
![Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j51fw71y5fojpg.jpg)
Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]
Last we heard of Rick Pitino extortionist Karen Sypher's legal counsel, she was performing oral sex on him in his office. But that lawyer testified against her in her trial, so things weren't working out so well there....

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...

Derrick Mason Says Roger Goodell Is A Joke For HGH Stance
This is not going to make America's $1 Commissioner very happy: Derrick Mason, Ravens wide receiver and an NFL vet so tenured that he debuted with the Tennessee Oilers, thinks Roger Goodell is a joke....

Eric Naposki, '80s Linebacker, Will Face Murder Charges; Goodell Probably Cannot Suspend Him
Some geriatric chickens coming home to roost on this one: former Colts and Patriots linebacker Eric Naposki will indeed have to face a jury on murder charges, after a judge declined to dismiss the case against him on Friday....

We Were All Waiting For Choir Girls To Harmonize About Derrick Rose's MVP Season To Make It Official
Derrick Rose has officially gotten the "Lexy and Stephany" treatment, and so now is as good a time as any to acknowledge the man who will very likely be named the NBA's 2010-2011 MVP. If there's any sign that you've "made it," this isn't it, but it is a nice gesture nonetheless. We're harboring a ...

John McEnroe Will Swear At You For An Hour For Just $28,500
There's an online charity open through Thursday that will grant two lucky — I mean absurdly wealthy — people an hour-long tennis lesson with John McEnroe at Randall's Island in New York City. The bid is currently at $26,000. The money will go towards saving the earth (literally, I guess?), so we can...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

Richard Dent Has Some Amazing Golf Pants
Your morning roundup for April 4, the day an orangutan threw up....

Here's Video Of Derrick Rose Making Up For A Turnover With A Sky-High Blocked Shot
Derrick Rose, the Chicago Bull who LeBron thinks should be league MVP, made a very nice defensive play last night to prevent the Raptors from pulling within two points in the third quarter. Seconds later, he assisted on a three-pointer. And just like that, the Bulls were up seven. And just like th...

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....