rich-people-things Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chicago gives Cubs pandemic tax reprieve — residents get tax hike, thumb in eye
There’s seemingly a parade of stories about how the only people not getting utterly fucked during this pandemic are the ones who never get utterly fucked. If you feel like you see something like Tom Brady’s boat purchased with money meant for small businesses, it’s because you do. And if there’s a g...
Mets fans dream of big-bucks battle with Bombers after sale to mega billionaire Steve Cohen is approved
As a lifelong Mets fan, I’ve been dreaming of this day for some time....
Talk about superspreaders! Millions of dollars showered on Prez, GOP by NFL owners who allow fans in stadiums
So far this season, there have been 12 NFL teams that have allowed fans into games. Obviously, they’d all like to open their gates, and a lot of whether they do comes down to state and local regulations amid the coronavirus pandemic, but thanks to Donald Trump and his cabal of derelict ignorance, sa...
FOX U.S. Open Coverage Takes Time Out To Glorify How Fucked Up Carmel Is
Yesterday Gary Woodland and his MAGA-friendly spikes held off golfing Terminator Brooks Koepka and won the U.S. Open. It was a classic example of a formerly unknown player revealing himself as a bloodless, stress-proof killer over the course and spending four days fending off all comers for a first ...
It's Time For A National Conversation About Drake's Horny Watch
One thing that can be said about Drake that cannot be said about a disconcertingly large number of other famous people is that it is clear why he is famous. He has done actual things—performed some hugely popular songs about how disappointed he is in various exes; endorsed one of the better-liked le...
Does MLB Care If No One Cares?<em></em>
“The Rays have the right under the collective bargaining agreement to renew me at or near the league-minimum salary,” defending American League Cy Young Award winner Blake Snell said in a statement issued on the day the Rays re-upped his contract with a $15,500 raise. Some $10,000 of that raise was ...
<em></em>Donald Trump Awards Donald Trump Trump's 20th Trump Golf Club Championship
According to people whose lives may well have depended upon it, the late North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il had an excellent golf game. One story told of Kim’s golf prowess crossed the demilitarized zone and become something of a minor meme: that Kim, while playing the first round of golf of his life...
You Don't Have To Believe Any Of This Shit
A non-refundable $45 fee on a bank statement whose existence cannot be explained by anyone; Raytheon’s Twitter account responding to a jape from Lockheed Martin’s Twitter account with a GIF of a grimacing Steve Carell from an episode of The Office; a show on The Learning Channel that is just goatee...
All It Takes To Make A 49ers Game Fun Is A $12,500-A-Year Field-Level Leather Recliner<em></em><em></em>
A floor seat at a basketball game has a powerful cultural weight. It helps that it’s the best and most exciting way to watch a basketball game, but it’s appeal goes beyond that. Those seats are where celebrities and investors go to see the game and be seen watching that game—a badge of wealth and pr...
Kobe Bryant Still Wants To Help Your Kids Be More Like Kobe Bryant<em></em><em></em>
During the question-and-answer session that followed the screening of Kobe Bryant’s short film Dear Basketball at the Tribeca Film Festival last spring, Bryant said a lot of things that would have been very hard to credit from anyone less driven or deeply weird than Kobe Bryant. He used a lot of the...
The Mets Screwed Up A Chance At Greatness Because They Couldn't Stop Being The Mets
When the Mets stuck Jacob deGrom with his second loss of the season on Wednesday afternoon, it was their 10th defeat in 11 games. DeGrom, who has been the best starting pitcher in the National League, allowed just one earned run and struck out seven over seven innings. The Mets didn’t get a hit off ...
Watching The NBA Finals At Oracle Arena With The Overlords And Oligarchs In Club Prick
I watched Game 1 of the NBA Finals from extremely expensive seats in Oracle Arena, but I didn’t see J.R. Smith’s towering goof....
Man Who Helped Kill Women's Pro Soccer Dies While Playing Soccer
Early this morning rumors began to swirl that Dan Borislow, the millionaire entrepreneur whose legal war with Women's Professional Soccer was instrumental in bringing about the league's demise, had died at the age of 52. Bloomberg has since confirmed that Borislow died last night of a heart attack a...
Kliff Kingsbury's Swaggy And Expensive-Looking Watch Is Probably Fake
Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury, the man who has gone to great lengths to craft a "James Bond coaches football" image for himself, showed up at Big 12 media days sporting a very expensive-looking watch. People on Twitter were taken aback by the watch, a Breitling Mulliner Tourbillon model that...
Disgusting Rich Person Jeffrey Loria Sold A Painting For $32.6 Million
When Jeffrey Loria isn't busy running the Marlins into the ground, he's wheeling and dealing in the art world. On Monday, he sold a (lovely!) portrait by Alberto Giacometti for $32.6 million at a New York art auction. That puts the painting's value just $7 million shy of the current payroll of the M...
Country Club Takes Potential Dress Code Modification Very Seriously
A few months ago, the board of governors of the Chester Valley Golf Club considered widening the scope of the club's dress code to include denim. But what kind of ramifications would such a radical change bring? Would the club be plunged into chaos? Perhaps! Such questions left the board of governor...
Let's Gawk At Roger Goodell's Under-Construction Summer Home
In December, it was reported that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was building a summer home in Prouts Neck, Maine. A reader who lives in the town recently went on a stroll near what he tells us is the construction site for Goodell's new home, and he took some pictures to share with us. It's a nice l...
Report: James Dolan Fired A Security Guard Who Didn't Recognize Him Because James Dolan Is Awful
Knicks owner James Dolan is an asswipe and a schmuck, and according to the New York Post, he is also a giant asshole. A source tells the Post that this past Sunday, Dolan was denied access into the Delta Sky 360 club in Madison Square Garden by security guard Fiordaliza Hernandez because Dolan didn'...
Manchester United Hired "A Fleet Of Private Jets" To Shuttle Its Players Back From International Competitions
Today in operating costs: because soccer's international competition schedule—as of late, World Cup qualifiers—interferes with the English Premier League's late-season schedule, one English Premier League team you may have heard of hired a bunch of private jets to make sure its players would be back...