rio Page 183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Blue Jays, Orioles, Giants Win; Disturbed Fans Who Anticipated Tiebreaker Games Lose<em></em>
Baseball’s postseason is set after a day that brought promises of excitement like we saw on the final day of 2011's regular season but delivered the most predictable and boring result as all three teams that controlled their own destiny won, shutting out the pretenders that hoped to force tiebreaker...

Bills-Patriots Pregame Warmups Turn Into A Big Shoving Match
The Buffalo Bills and New England Patriots couldn’t wait until kickoff to start hitting each other. These guys are mad!...

Irish Olympic Boxer Bet On Himself To Lose, Won
That fellow up there in the blue is Irish welterweight Steven Donnelly, after his round-of-16 win at the Rio Olympics. Looks happy, doesn’t he? No matter how the bout went, he couldn’t lose....

Mario Balotelli Watches His Goal From His Butt<em></em>
Rejoice, soccer lovers, for the joy of Mario Balotelli scoring goals is once again a regular part of our lives. The on-fire Nice forward added another one today in the Europa League, cracking this ball with a little jump-slide shot and admiring it as it flies into the net from his backside:...

Korean Announcers Provide Excellent Call On Hyun Soo Kim's Superb Dinger
In the top of the ninth inning this evening, Hyun Soo Kim came in the game for the Orioles as a pinch hitter, replacing Nolan Reimold. The Orioles were down by a run to the Blue Jays, and hadn’t managed to do much of anything on offense. But Kim turned everything around with a big, game-winning ding...

Rex Ryan Posed As A Reporter To Ask Julian Edelman If He'd Be Playing QB
Who will quarterback the Patriots this weekend? Jacoby Brissett? Jimmy Garappolo? Julian Edelman? Everyone involved in this weekend’s Patriots-Bills game is interested in finding out, nobody more so than Bills coach Rex Ryan. So he performed some extremely simple subterfuge on a conference call with...

Tom Brady's Apparently Been Spending His Suspension Tanning His Butt
The New York Post just published a cool update on how Tom Brady’s been spending his Ballghazi suspension: tanning his large white ass in Italy....

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How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...

Report: Jacoby Brissett Needs Surgery On His Thumb
New England Patriots quarterback Jacoby Brissett injured his thumb in Thursday’s game against the Houston Texans and will need surgery, according to Mike Petraglia of WEEI....

The Texans Were Tremendously Incompetent
The Patriots entered tonight’s game against the Texans as slight underdogs at home, despite a history of destroying Houston anytime they had a chance, especially at home. The Patriots were starting a rookie quarterback, the Texans came in hot at 2-0, and Gronk looked banged up, but the Patriots are ...

Thanks To Draymond Green, NBA Refs Will Be Cracking Down On Hits To The Dick And Balls
Draymond Green was the loudest, brashest, most dick kicking-est player on the NBA Finals-losing Golden State Warriors, and he has already secured a legacy of sorts for himself: starting next season, NBA referees will be making a point to spot and penalize strikes to the dick and balls, or what the A...

What Do You Get For The Baseball Player Who Has Everything? A Busted Up Phone Box
Let’s go back to 2013. David Ortiz was putting together an all-star season at 37 years old, but on one July night in Baltimore, he was melting down. After arguing with umpire Tim Timmons’ strike zone, Papi got ejected. So he went back into the Red Sox dugout and destroyed the in-dugout phone....


Mario Balotelli Scores Two More Goals, Remains On Fire
Mario Balotelli has always been kind of a headcase. Of late, his nuttiness has unfortunately overshadowed his undeniable abilities. But now, after commemorating his second start with his new club Nice with his second two-goal match, it’s beginning to look like maybe Balo is more crazy good than just...

Adam Jones Wants To Know Where All The Orioles Fans Are
The Orioles are right in the thick of things, holding on to the second wild card and, at least before dropping the first three of their four-game series with East-leading Boston, contending for the division. They just wish more fans were showing up to see it....

Mookie Betts Is So Damn Mean To The Orioles
Mookie Betts—currently hitting .314/.356/.541 with 31 home runs, 24 steals, and 40 doubles—may very well end up being the American League MVP. If he wins the award, he should thank the Baltimore Orioles during his acceptance speech....

Rick Porcello Got Into It With Manny Machado And<em></em> Pitched The Most Efficient Game Of The Season
Rick Porcello has been the anchor of the Red Sox’s rotation all year, and tonight, he put forth his best game of the season, and the most efficient game anyone has pitched all year. It only took him 89 pitches to take care of the Orioles tonight, 65 of which were strikes. That’s the fewest pitches i...

Lindsey Graham Wants To Destroy America
Nary a single flag-humping horse’s ass, badge-licking fraud, or smarmy nostalgic thinkfluencer in the Western Hemisphere passed up the chance to display performative patriotism in the wake of Colin Kaepernick’s ongoing national anthem protest. Here in 2016, national fabrics both figurative and liter...

It's Jacoby Brissett Time, I Guess
The New England Patriots had prepared to work around Tom Brady’s four-game suspension for the start of the season: Use Jimmy Garoppolo, err on the side of caution with anyone injured, and aim to scrape together a couple of wins. The team’s 2-0 after a 31-24 victory over the Miami Dolphins, but that ...