rio Page 303 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Not A Game, We Talking 'Bout Malpractice
Tebucky Jones plans to sue New England's team doctors for misdiagnosing his injuries and ending his career. The Mets' class-action suit is still collecting plaintiffs. [NESN]...

The Deadspin 2009 Fall Preview – Featuring A Fire Joe Morgan Reunion
This week's Deadcast guest is the guy who RUINED Deadspin, your editor AJ Daulerio. (Listen here, iTunes here.) And he brings news with him. That news? YOU'RE ALL BANNED AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHY....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jay Mariotti
Oh, Jay, Jay, Jay. You are an evil temptress. No matter how hard we try, we just can't help ourselves from making you more famous....

Coach Who Said Hitler Was A Good Leader Wants To Run For Congress
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mysterious, Gaseous Noise Invades The Buick Open
Unless CBS had a special microphone right next to his ass, it doesn't seem plausible that Woods could be the culprit. Yes, just a few seconds before blast-off, we see Woods loosening his hamstrings by kicking his legs up behind him, followed by the alleged fart, then a shot of he and caddy Steve Wil...

Weak-Hitting Player Rips Manager For Not Letting Him Hit Weakly
"I don't appreciate the disrespect, because I've been playing hurt for a guy who won't respect you. I don't deserve it...It's time for me to move on." -Melvin Mora, (.256, 3 HR, 27 RBI) on being benched. Again. [Baltimore Sun]...

Be A Man, McMackin, Everyone's Living On Less These Days
Pay cuts are clearly part of the "new reality." Like this commodities trader will probably take a haircut on his guaranteed $100 million bonus, just because his bank owes taxpayers $44 billion. Then there is Greg McMackin....

Hawaii Coach Apologizes For Accusing Notre Dame Of Gayness During Dance Routine
Before last year's Hawaii Bowl, Notre Dame and Hawaii met for a pre-game banquet in which the Rainbows-turned-Warriors did the ha'a and the Fighting Irish performed a cheer, which Hawaii head coach Greg McMackin tastefully deemed "a little faggot dance."...

Jay Mariotti, Making Children Cry
Jay the Joker one-ups Woody Paige with a human prop. The baby's tears represent America, except America would have tried to poop on him. [H/T reader Dan]...

One Fan Who Wasn't Invited To Super Mario's Pool Party
No wonder the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. They had a homeless, bipolar man sending them Christian music CDs, notes with dietary suggestions — no sweets! — and vitamin tips. And people say home ice is an advantage. [Post-Gazette/Puck Daddy]...

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...

What Our Favorite Athletes' Twittering Says About Their Sexuality
You can learn a lot from a person's Twitter account, like "I'm an attention whore," and...well, that's about it. But thanks to a new tool, we can analyze our sports heroes' tweets for clues to their sexual preference....

Fox's Shepard Smith Explains McNair Case: "Dying Is Not Illegal"
Mike Florio stopped by Shepard Smith's show today to explain the Ben Roethlisberger case to Republicans, but first, Shep had to explain the Steve McNair case. Did you know that getting shot in the head is not a crime?...

Not Even Jay Mariotti Agrees With Jay Mariotti
Mariotti, July 15: "It's going to take time" for people to move past "the '09 double whammy of Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez." Mariotti, July 17: People have moved past the Manny Ramirez scandal. [Mlive.com]...

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Fans mob a Twitter-promoted baseball game featuring the Jonas Brothers. If you're wondering about their road beef, Chris Hansen would like you to sit down over here. [Boston Herald]...

Report: Notre Dame Will Play Army At Yankee Stadium In History's Most Insufferable Football Game
Pat Forde's reporting that the Fighting Irish will take on the Black Knights in 2010 at Versailles-on-the-Harlem, reviving a longstanding New York tradition of Irish people fighting the Army that dates all the way back to the Draft Riots. [ESPN]...

Good Samaritan Gives Tom Brady His Much Needed $4,000
After hearing about the plight of an ex-con, panhandling to re-pay $4,000 to the Patriots' quarterback, a kind businessman has volunteered to pay the debt on his behalf—keeping Tom Brady blissfully unaware that anything has gone wrong....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oriole Park At Camden Yards
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oriole Park at Camden Yards....

The One Where Jay Mariotti Shows Off His Formidable Lady-Killing Technique
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters....