rio Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Andrea Kremer Hearts Tom Brady
It's a few days old now, but, OK, judging from this "interview" from Sunday, it's only a matter of time before Andrea Kremer, Gisele and Tom are all on the Dr. Phil show hashing this out. Such shameless flirting has not been witnessed since Churchill got Roosevelt to agree to the lend-lease program...

The Last Chapter Of The Aubrey Huff Saga
Just to wrap up this whole Aubrey Huff and naked people business (NSFW), here's one last shot, of everybody's favorite porny Oriole, with the charming Melissa Midwest (also NSFW). Godspeed, Mr. Huff: We bet now, even you can find some place to party in Baltimore after 9 p.m....

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

Aubrey Huff Admires "Works Of Art"
Yesterday, we told you about Aubrey Huff's appearance on "Bubba The Love Sponge." He played it off as just "kidding around," playing a role on a radio show. That would be one way to put it....

Bill Belichick Is A Surly Dick
Michael Showalter is one of the minds behind The State and Stella and the writer and star of the films Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. We're a fan. He also, apparently, is a sports fan. To promote his new album Sandwiches And Cats, he's doing a pseudo tour of the various lousy blogs like our...

Everyone Opens Up To Bubba The Love Sponge
Orioles Professional Hitter Aubrey Huff wouldn't seem like the type of guy who would let himself cut loose and act crazy on the radio, but hey, take a bat out of a man's hands, and he's liable to do some crazy things....

We Suspect The Pats Have Videotape Of The Incident
How do you know the Patriots are having a breakthrough, historic, crossover season? It's not just that they're undefeated; they now have their own crazy stalker lady....

October Was Not Kind To The Bay Area
It's been a rough couple of weeks for sports fans in the ol' Bay Area. The Warriors look to have lost last year's sexy playoff mojo; the 49ers are struggling to even notch a 100 yards per game; and the Raiders keep finding (fairly impressive) ways to giveaway football games....


Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It
We knew there was something missing from the NFL season: An asterisk controversy. Of course. Well let's get right to it. Don Shula — who coached the 1972 Miami Dolphins to the only unbeaten season in NFL history — says that the Patriots should get an asterisk if they finish 19-0 this season....

Warriors Refuse To Come Out And Play
• Who Still Believes? A glaring absence of celebrity fans on Tuesday in Oakland, as the Warriors dropped to 0-4 with a 108-104 loss to the Cavaliers. My yellow "We Believe" T-shirt has only been worn once, and already is in danger of becoming obsolete. In the meantime, let's let Golden State of Mind...

Patriots Fail to Cover Spread, Claim Hollow Victory
• Was there ever any doubt? You could tell that it was just a matter of time before Tom Brady and Randy Moss could stick a dagger through the Indianapolis defense. For three quarters Tony Dungy's Colts controlled the field, but you can't keep a good man down long, and the same can be said of Bill Be...

New England Patriots Are The Saviors Of Alefgard
And there it is. The New England Patriots collected the Stones of Sunlight, the Staff of Rain, and the Token of Erdrick. Tom Brady will promptly whisk Princess Gwaelin away to a bed and breakfast somewhere south of Cantlin. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick will now reproduce a set of Erdrick weapons and ar...

Championship Team Takes 13-7 Halftime Lead Over Legendary Team
Marvin Harrison isn't playing in the game, which my keen awareness picked up on sometime in the first quarter. So the backup No. 1 wide receiver for the Colts happens to be Joseph Addai, I guess. He has 107 yards receiving on top of his usual job of 80 yards rushing. He's also filling in for three b...

Hoping The Patriots And Colts Play To A Tie Game
M'kay. It's getting to be that time, so let's get the Patriots-Colts preview out of the way. I hadn't even thought about who I thought would win this game until this weekend, when I put New England in my friend's NFL picks pool. It was a rather anticlimactic and unfulfilling finish to a week of spec...

Just Another 16-Hour Workday For Herbie
I may have been the last person to notice that ESPN College GameDay dreamboat staple Kirk Herbstreit has also been in the booth for that night's ABC prime-time football game. Oftentimes, those two locales are in different areas. But I think yesterday's cross-country trek had to be one a logistical n...

Colts and Pats Match-Up Poised to Tilt Axis of Earth
The Indianapolis Colts/New England Patriots death-match hype is reaching its condition critical stage, as every single person on the planet tangentially-related to either one of those regions or to sports writing has to have an opinion about it. They must. This is the game of the millennium, you see...

Raiders Fans Would Rather Look Elsewhere, Thank You
It's not easy being a Raiders fan. First off: What goes with black? Seriously! It's also difficult to find time to cheer, what with all the drinking of infant's blood. And worst off, the Raiders' lousy game with the Texans this Sunday happens to be at the same time as The Most Important Battle Betwe...

Hey, The NBA Season Is Starting!
The NBA season tips off tonight, and we should all take heed: It'll be the last time anybody cares about an NBA regular season game. Enjoy!...

The Patriots Are Just Tempting Fate
As the above video shows, with all the hatred directed at the Patriots right now — the batshit nuts Easterbrook type, and other more planetary notions — we're legitimately surprised no one has gone after Tom Brady's knees yet. (KSK might have been the first with this idea.) We would never advocate s...