rons Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aaron Sanchez Says He's Been Out For Two Months Because A Suitcase Hurt His Finger
Blue Jays starter Aaron Sanchez hasn’t pitched since June 21, in a rough one-inning appearance against the Angels. After he exited that start, Sanchez went on the 60-day DL for a bruised right finger, and he’s now touring the rehab-start circuit....
Scammy Champions Basketball League Gets Humiliated In Court, Drops Lawsuit, Continues To Fall Apart
It’s been just over a year since we first reported on the trials and tribulations of the Champions Basketball League, a semi-pro league that used false promises to bilk hundreds of thousands of dollars out of investors who were sold on the opportunity to own a piece of a basketball team full of form...
Barstool Sports Stooges Try To Explain Why Corey Lewandowski's "Womp Womp" Was Actually Funny
On Tuesday, former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski displayed a shocking lack of humanity when he went on Fox News and responded to a story about a 10-year-old migrant girl with Down Syndrome being taken away from her mother at a border facility by saying, “womp womp” in a mocking ton...
The Cleveland Barons' NHL Existence Was A Short And Spectacular Disaster
Bob Whidden got the bad news first. On June 14, 1978, Whidden was in Montreal representing the Cleveland Barons at the NHL owners’ meetings....
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is The Idiot Racist Lawyer Sprinting Away From News Cameras
Aaron Schlossberg, the New York City lawyer who was caught on video dressing down restaurant employees for speaking Spanish and threatening to call U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement on them because he believed they were undocumented, is having a rough time since activist Shaun King released t...
The Most You Can Do Is Keep LeBron From Feasting
There is no such thing as a LeBron Stopper. There are LeBron Inconveniencers, and if you are one of them, and have eaten a well-balanced meal and hydrated deeply and prayed to all the relevant deities, you might “hold” LeBron to a triple-double and 26 points on 40-percent shooting, as the Raptors di...
Tyron Smith's "Bulging Dick" Issues Have Apparently Returned
Anytime an athlete gets diagnosed with a bulging disc, it’s only a matter of time until some unfortunate broadcaster slips up and briefly misdiagnoses them with a much more concerning issue. Today, Jane Slater joined the hallowed ranks of sportscasters who have done so....
"Megatron's Butthole" To Remain Clenched
When we last checked in on the progress of the Atlanta Falcons’ new stadium, which features an eight-petal retractable roof known as “Megatron’s Butthole,” things were stopped up. The Atlanta Journal Constitution brings us an update today, and it looks like the hole will remain closed for some time....
Democratic Process Gives Every Idiot A Voice
The true spirit of our Founding Fathers was celebrated this week in Bayonne, New Jersey, where the local quacks, racists, and morons were allowed to voice their stupid views at a zoning hearing. ...
Wisconsin's Bronson Koenig To Join Dakota Access Pipeline Protests
Wisconsin point guard Bronson Koenig, the most notable Native American men’s basketball player in the nation, has made public his plans to join the Dakota Access Pipeline protests. Koenig will make the 11-hour drive with his older brother and his trainer to a protest site near Bismarck, North Dakota...
Whatever You Say, Dude [UPDATE: He's Deleting Them]
Update: The Tennessee Republican later tweeted this:...
Report: Lakers Finally Fire Byron Scott
The Los Angeles Lakers have fired head coach Byron Scott, reports Adrian Wojnarowski. If you live anywhere near Southern California, that sound you hear is millions of Lakers fans shouting hosannahs into the air. ...
ESPN's Darren Rovell On Nike Exploiting Chinese Workers: "It Is What It Is"
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell, a man with many unread issues of The Economist in his bathroom, has a habit of using his Twitter account to explain that all sorts of terrible things are just fine so long as capitalists can profit from them. Racism? Totally cool if the market says it is. What a...
Wisconsin Upsets Xavier With Buzzer-Beater
Bronson Koenig’s three-pointer as time expired finished a late comeback by Wisconsin as the Badgers knocked off second-seeded Xavier, 66-63. Wisconsin was down as much as nine points in the final seven minutes of the game, but a series of Musketeers mistakes allowed the Badgers back into the game....
Mitch Kupchak Doesn't Want To Talk About Byron Scott
Byron Scott is a very bad basketball coach. That wasn’t much of a problem for the Lakers last season, when all they wanted to do was lose as many games as possible, but his ineptitude matters a lot more now that he’s responsible for the development of some key young players. It will be an even bigge...
Jordan Clarkson Had Some Very Prudent Advice For D'Angelo Russell
After Jordan Clarkson and D’Angelo Russell played well in Team USA’s win over the World squad in yesterday’s Rising Stars victory, a reporter asked them a question that translated to, “How freeing did it feel to play for someone else besides Byron Scott for a night?” After answering himself, it sure...
Byron Scott Is Still Saying Baffling Things About D'Angelo Russell
Halfway through the season, Lakers coach Byron Scott is still giving asinine quotes to the media and ham-fistedly messing with the development of his number two draft pick, D’Angelo Russell....
Byron Scott Denies Challenging Instagram Hater To A Fight, Says He Was Hacked
Lakers head coach Byron Scott has a reputation to uphold. Not as a smart or even competent NBA coach, but as a tough-talkin’, no-nonsense, these-goddang-kids-and-their-goddang-iGoogles hard ass. This is why, if you get feisty in his Instagram mentions, you might get challenged to a fight....