rons Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Most You Can Do Is Keep LeBron From Feasting
There is no such thing as a LeBron Stopper. There are LeBron Inconveniencers, and if you are one of them, and have eaten a well-balanced meal and hydrated deeply and prayed to all the relevant deities, you might “hold” LeBron to a triple-double and 26 points on 40-percent shooting, as the Raptors di...
Tyron Smith's "Bulging Dick" Issues Have Apparently Returned
Anytime an athlete gets diagnosed with a bulging disc, it’s only a matter of time until some unfortunate broadcaster slips up and briefly misdiagnoses them with a much more concerning issue. Today, Jane Slater joined the hallowed ranks of sportscasters who have done so....
"Megatron's Butthole" To Remain Clenched
When we last checked in on the progress of the Atlanta Falcons’ new stadium, which features an eight-petal retractable roof known as “Megatron’s Butthole,” things were stopped up. The Atlanta Journal Constitution brings us an update today, and it looks like the hole will remain closed for some time....
Democratic Process Gives Every Idiot A Voice
The true spirit of our Founding Fathers was celebrated this week in Bayonne, New Jersey, where the local quacks, racists, and morons were allowed to voice their stupid views at a zoning hearing. ...
Wisconsin's Bronson Koenig To Join Dakota Access Pipeline Protests
Wisconsin point guard Bronson Koenig, the most notable Native American men’s basketball player in the nation, has made public his plans to join the Dakota Access Pipeline protests. Koenig will make the 11-hour drive with his older brother and his trainer to a protest site near Bismarck, North Dakota...
Whatever You Say, Dude [UPDATE: He's Deleting Them]
Update: The Tennessee Republican later tweeted this:...
Report: Lakers Finally Fire Byron Scott
The Los Angeles Lakers have fired head coach Byron Scott, reports Adrian Wojnarowski. If you live anywhere near Southern California, that sound you hear is millions of Lakers fans shouting hosannahs into the air. ...
ESPN's Darren Rovell On Nike Exploiting Chinese Workers: "It Is What It Is"
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell, a man with many unread issues of The Economist in his bathroom, has a habit of using his Twitter account to explain that all sorts of terrible things are just fine so long as capitalists can profit from them. Racism? Totally cool if the market says it is. What a...
Wisconsin Upsets Xavier With Buzzer-Beater
Bronson Koenig’s three-pointer as time expired finished a late comeback by Wisconsin as the Badgers knocked off second-seeded Xavier, 66-63. Wisconsin was down as much as nine points in the final seven minutes of the game, but a series of Musketeers mistakes allowed the Badgers back into the game....
Mitch Kupchak Doesn't Want To Talk About Byron Scott
Byron Scott is a very bad basketball coach. That wasn’t much of a problem for the Lakers last season, when all they wanted to do was lose as many games as possible, but his ineptitude matters a lot more now that he’s responsible for the development of some key young players. It will be an even bigge...
Jordan Clarkson Had Some Very Prudent Advice For D'Angelo Russell
After Jordan Clarkson and D’Angelo Russell played well in Team USA’s win over the World squad in yesterday’s Rising Stars victory, a reporter asked them a question that translated to, “How freeing did it feel to play for someone else besides Byron Scott for a night?” After answering himself, it sure...
Byron Scott Is Still Saying Baffling Things About D'Angelo Russell
Halfway through the season, Lakers coach Byron Scott is still giving asinine quotes to the media and ham-fistedly messing with the development of his number two draft pick, D’Angelo Russell....
Byron Scott Denies Challenging Instagram Hater To A Fight, Says He Was Hacked
Lakers head coach Byron Scott has a reputation to uphold. Not as a smart or even competent NBA coach, but as a tough-talkin’, no-nonsense, these-goddang-kids-and-their-goddang-iGoogles hard ass. This is why, if you get feisty in his Instagram mentions, you might get challenged to a fight....
That's Just Weed, Dipshit
You could have gone out to West Philly any time to “get smarter.”...
Kobe Bryant Finally Did Byron Scott's Job For Him
Los Angeles Lakers coach Byron Scott is tasked with managing the obligations of the Kobe Bryant Retirement Tour alongside the imperative of developing the young talent on the roster. We can acknowledge that this is a difficult balancing act, while at the same time recognizing that he has completely ...
Former Laker Darius Morris Slams Byron Scott On Twitter, Says Account Was Hacked
Before Monday night’s loss against the Raptors, Lakers coach Byron Scott decided to bring prized youngsters Julius Randle and D’Angelo Russell off the bench, giving this nonsensical explanation for the move (via ESPN):...
Byron Scott Is Still Being Stupid About D'Angelo Russell
As a basketball fan, one of life’s simplest pleasures is waking up each day and knowing there is a good chance that Lakers head coach Byron Scott is going to do or say something that is hilariously dumb. Last night, he did not disappoint....
Kobe Bryant Shocked That He's The Voice Of "Ball Movement Reason" For The Lakers
The Los Angeles Lakers are, unsurprisingly, very bad this year. They’re in the bottom seven in both defensive and offensive rating, Byron Scott doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing, and Kobe Bryant has been comically awful when he’s not taking mandated days off....