sad Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Floyd Mayweather Received Banned IV Before Pacquiao Fight
The day before his fight against Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather took two intravenous infusions totaling 750 milliliters. The bags contained mixtures of saline and vitamins, but their contents are irrelevant: any IVs over 50 mL are strictly banned. The Nevada State Athletic Commission, which sancti...
Here, Illustrated, Is Every Nats Fan
Take comfort in your friends....
Tell-All From Former Yankees Clubhouse Worker Is Finally Out; Alleges Jeter & Posada Had Sexy Time
Way, way, way back in 2007, we covered a Craigslist posting by a gentleman seeking a co-writer for a tell-all about his time as a Yankees clubhouse worker, the abuse he endured, and the many scandalous Bronx Bombers episodes he witnessed. It is now 2015, and Abused By The New York Yankees is finally...
ESPN Has Lice
Here is an internal memo that was recently sent to ESPN employees:...
These Poor Crab Fishermen Had The Worst Super Bowl Experience
That damn slant route that cost the Seahawks the Super Bowl was hard for anyone to comprehend, but I can’t imagine any Seattle fans had a worse time watching it unfold than these crab fishermen:...
New York City Parks Worker Confronts Shit, Mortality
The video above—which comes to us from A Walk In The Park—is narrated by NYC parks worker Daniel Roca. When Roca arrived at his job at Sara D. Roosevelt Park yesterday, he found the basement of his building flooded with poop. And then the poop almost killed him....
New Lakers Neatly Capture The Experience Of Being Kobe Bryant's Teammate
The Los Angeles Lakers held a press conference today to introduce new players Roy Hibbert, Lou Williams, and Brandon Bass. It was boring, up until the point one reporter asked the trio if they’d heard from Kobe Bryant yet....
Report: Cleveland Browns Still A Huge Mess
The Browns are bad and hilarious, and it sure looks like they will never stop being that way. The latest report on the team’s persistent, ingrained dysfunction comes from ESPN reporter Tony Grossi, and it reveals that GM Ray Farmer’s practice of texting members of the coaching staff during games was...
How's Tiger Woods's British Open Going So Far?
Not great, my friend! Not great at all....
I Don't Really Have Anything To Say About This White Kid's Bad Rap Song
Here is a bad rap song:...
Sad Little Man Utd Fan Is Just Bawling Over Robin van Persie Transfer
Aww, there there little Louis. When we imagined Manchester United fans crying over Robin van Persie’s impending move to Turkey, we thought they’d be tears of joy. Chin up, kid. The Memphis Depay era should be a good one....
Micronesian National Team Concedes 114 Goals In 3 Games
The Federated States of Micronesia have an international soccer team that is ranked 200 in the world by FIFA. The team entered this year’s Pacific Games in an attempt to qualify for the 2016 Olympics. Things did not go so well!...
Freddy Adu Scored The Saddest Free Kick You'll Ever See
Remember Freddy Adu? Remember the guy that was supposed to save American soccer? Four months ago he signed with Kuopion Palloseura, in the Finnish first division. They’re the eleventh team the still-somehow-only-26-year-old Adu has played for: D.C. United —> Real Salt Lake —> Benfica —> AS Monaco —>...
Ty Lawson Sees His Future In A Cloud Of Hookah Smoke
You can always count on the NBA draft to produce a few a few memorable moments. Sobbing Knicks Child was the star of last night’s show, but Sad Ty Lawson Smoking Hookah ran a very close second....
The Colts Have Some Extremely Sad Banners
The Indianapolis Colts have a new banner in their stadium, one that reads “2014 AFC Finalist.” Hey, ummm, the Colts? “AFC finalist” is not a real thing........
Allen Iverson Has Destroyed The Legacy Of Allen Iverson
As it turns out, the way you stop Allen Iverson is with cheap domestic beer and a good divorce lawyer. Journalist Kent Babb published a biography of the former superstar this week (I recommend it), and there are stories in it about Iverson being, at times, a complete shitbag. To wit:...
Did Derrick Rose's Ex-Girlfriend Announce He Will Return On Wednesday?
Derrick Rose’s ex-girlfriend Mieka Reese—who he dated for a number of years and gave birth to their son Derrick Jr. in 2012—posted the following on Instagram, along with the simple caption “W E D N E S D A Y”: ...
Look At This Dumb Racist Dog
The Skins asked their fans to tweet photos of their dogs wearing team apparel for National Puppy Day—a day that doesn't really exist, as every day is a national celebration of puppies—and one guy just jammed a Skins helmet on his dog's head....
The NFL Veteran Combine Is The Saddest
The NFL hosted its first-ever veteran combine this weekend, a chance for players who have fallen out of the league for one reason or another to claw their way back onto an NFL roster by proving that they've still got it. Michael Sam was there! So were Felix Jones, Michael Bush, and a lot of other ...
Sad Derrick Rose Shrine Even Sadder After Being Vandalized
Remember that incredibly sad Derrick Rose shrine we told you about yesterday? Well, the only thing sadder than a shrine to a still living basketball player under an underpass is a vandalized shrine to a still living basketball player under an underpass. David Beltran and Brendan Carroll—the two ar...