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Pour One Out For The Sad Fucker Who Flunked His Being-Zion Williamson's-Agent Exam

Reader, I will be honest with you: My eyes turned to little wads of chalk and I lapsed into a coma for 50,000 lifetimes of the earth while trying to read this ESPN.com feature about the twists of hotshot rookie Zion Williamson’s path to a sneaker endorsement deal. All I remember about it is the unbe...

A Very Depressing NBA Trade

The Sacramento Kings selected Ben McLemore out of the University of Kansas with the seventh overall pick in the 2013 draft. It was a surprise he’d fallen that far, and the Kings were very glad to have him. “Ben McLemore was our dream choice from the get-go,” owner Vivek Ranadivé said after the draft...

Accept Your Mediocrity (I'm Fine!)<em></em>

There comes a time in your life when you realize that you are a fairly mediocre human being. You can try to rectify some aspects of the situation—exercise or whatever—but there is little you can actually do to outrun your own unremarkableness. (You can’t outrun it because you’re out of shape.)...

Allen Iverson Has Destroyed The Legacy Of Allen Iverson

As it turns out, the way you stop Allen Iverson is with cheap domestic beer and a good divorce lawyer. Journalist Kent Babb published a biography of the former superstar this week (I recommend it), and there are stories in it about Iverson being, at times, a complete shitbag. To wit:...

Frank Beamer Apparently Terrifies Children

This poor little girl sitting next to Virginia Tech football coach Frank Beamer is sobbing uncontrollably, possibly because she has been seated next to Frank Beamer. Never forget:...

Back Injury Forces Steve Nash Out For Entire 2014–15 Season

The bad back that has plagued Steve Nash his entire career has knocked him out for the entire season before it even begins, the Lakers announced Thursday night. Nash suffered the latest re-aggravation—I shit you not—while carrying some luggage....

The Pillow Stays Dry Tonight, Browns Fan

Once trailing 28-3, the Browns closed the game on a 26-0 run, and beat the Titans 29-28. The Browns are .500 and they will beat your ass in second halves. ...

Troy Tulowitzki To Have Season-Ending Hip Surgery

Here Are Some Devastated Argentina Fans

Soccer can be cruel, kids. Learn this lesson, as this small Argentina fan did after Germany's Mario Götze scored in extra time....

Jean Segura's Nine-Month-Old Son Passed Away

Milwaukee Brewers shortstop Jean Segura learned after last night's game against the Cardinals that his infant son, Janniel, passed away in the Dominican Republic. According to manager Ron Roenicke, he had been battling an undisclosed illness but, as recently as yesterday, the family thought he was g...

Kid In Anti-Gambling Ad Is Sad Because Dad Bet Everything On Germany

Look, gambling addiction is a serious thing and, really, this anti-gambling spot from the National Council on Problem Gambling only proves the point. In it, several young boys sit around yakking about the World Cup and who they want to win. Each kid has a favorite—one likes Brazil, another likes Arg...

New Browns Movie Poster Has Very Browns Typo

Give the Browns this: If you're going to OK your franchise's image to a true-to-life movie about a moribund franchise that needs a miracle draft (and just two years after spending two first round picks on Trent Richardson and Brandon Weeden!), one way to go about it is making sure the promotional ma...

Danny Granger Shares A Sad Goodbye With His Pacers Teammates

Danny Granger has been an Indiana Pacer for nearly nine seasons, but now he's headed to Philly after being swapped for Evan Turner and Lavoy Allen. Here he is saying goodbye to Chris Copeland and David West on his way out of the team facility....

Michael Sam's Father Did Not Take His Son's Coming Out Smoothly

Michael Sam's Missouri teammates generally embraced him when he revealed that he was gay last August. The majority of the NFL's reaction was positive, too, after Sam told the public Sunday. But Sam's father, Michael Sam, Sr., didn't have a similar reaction when he found out. His coping involved drin...

Andrea Bargnani Is Out Indefinitely; We Made Him A Tribute Video

Sad news, everyone. Andrea Bargnani, the Knicks player who brought us the most entertainment this year, has a torn ligament in his left arm that will keep him off the court indefinitely. Bargs hurt himself doing what Bargs does best: playing basketball like a dummy....

Shirtless, Slurring Lamar Odom Freestyle Raps In Sad Video

Here's some shit that will bum you out. According to TMZ, this video of a shirtless and fucked-up-on-something Lamar Odom freestyle rapping with some other dude was shot sometime in the last month. If that's true, it doesn't look like Odom's recovery from substance abuse issues is going too well....

Brook Lopez Spam Account Has More Followers Than Actual Brook Lopez

Honestly, there's a lot of strange information on this little bit of Trivia from the Nets-Kings broadcast on YES....

Teen Facing Discipline For Streaking HS Football Game Hangs Self

Christian Adamek was a 15-year-old " kind, quirky" and, by all accounts, well-liked kid at Sparkman high school (Alabama) who was arrested for streaking through his school's football game on September 27th. On October 2nd, reportedly facing school expulsion and criminal charges—including potentially...

Watch Dwyane Wade's Ex-Wife Make Her Case On Chicago's Streets

There's now video of Dwyane Wade's ex-wife, Siohvaughn Funches, ranting about child support and judges and such. h/t Wayne Dade...

8-Year-Old Dies After Being Struck By Baseball [UPDATE]

Dylan Williams was at practice for his Little League youth all-star team on Tuesday night when he was hit in the neck with a baseball. He fell to the ground and never got up....