sad Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Derrick Rose To Undergo Knee Surgery, May Be Out For Season
Bulls star Derrick Rose may miss the rest of the season after knee surgery to repair a torn meniscus. This is not a repeat....

The Yankees Will Sell Their Past Until There's Nothing Left Of It
The Yankees announced yesterday that they will retire the numbers of Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, and Bernie Williams, and that all three—along with Willie Randolph—will receive plaques in Monument Park in four different ceremonies spread across the season. No American sports team has made such an...

This Is The Saddest Hockey Pass Ever
"Corrado, the unorthodox breakout play."...

Seahawks Fan Sets Off Sprinklers While Throwing Skittles Into The Air
A lot of Seattle Seahawks fans no doubt had a very sad time last night, but one particular group had what I am willing to bet was the saddest time of all....

Frank Beamer Apparently Terrifies Children
This poor little girl sitting next to Virginia Tech football coach Frank Beamer is sobbing uncontrollably, possibly because she has been seated next to Frank Beamer. Never forget:...

And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures
Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story befo...

Sad Derrick Rose Airballs An Open Goddamn Layup
Oooh, that is a slick little move, there. The ball-fake to freeze Timofey Mozgov, the little half-Eurostep toward the middle of the lane, the midair adjustment as Mozgov recovers to contest. And then, what in the damn hell. Did the Earth shift 18 inches off its normal orbital path while Rose w...

How To Treat Your Vagina Before Your Next Race
If you're like me, you often wonder how exactly one cares for one's vagina the day before a race. What are potential pitfalls to avoid? What are some of the worst-case scenarios? Well, Runner's World's all-women's site Zelle is here to answer the age-old question....

The Lakers Threw Kobe Bryant A Sad Little Plane Party
Kobe Bryant passed Michael Jordan on the all-time NBA scoring list last night, and after the game it was time for Kobe and his teammates—his friends, his confidants, his brothers in arms—to cut loose and celebrate the man's tremendous accomplishment....

Derrick Rose Knocked Out Of Game Due To Injury
This is starting to sound a bit repetitive....

Let's Laugh At The Sixers Playing Completely Hapless Defense
I've been watching this on loop for a good 10 minutes, and I just now noticed that while Damian Lillard is just hanging out, probably trying to figure out if he's somehow gained the ability to freeze time, Wes Matthews is also wide fucking open in the corner. Lillard could have said, "No, this w...

Sad Jeremy Lin Sums Up The Lakers' Season In Six Seconds
I have no idea what question this is in response to, but it could have been anything from "How can you guys improve on the defensive end?" to "At this point, why even continue living?" and this would be the perfect answer....

Knicks Lose Despite Carmelo's Clutch Three With Seconds Remaining
Carmelo Anthony hit a clutch, tying three-pointer with two seconds remaining in the Knicks' game tonight in New York against the Jazz. The Knicks still lost, in regulation, thanks to Trey Burke's buzzer-beater....

Joakim Noah To Derrick Rose Critics: "Chill The Fuck Out"
No one in Chicago is talking about the third quarter of last night's Bulls game, when the team held the Toronto Raptors to 14 points right in front of Drake and God. Everyone is, rather, talking about the fourth quarter, when Derrick Rose left what was on the verge of becoming a nearly close game a...

Derrick Rose Is Injured, Again
Derrick Rose appears to be out for the game after hurting his leg late in tonight's matchup in Toronto against the Raptors. I know, that seems impossible to believe. But it's true! Here's the evidence so you can see it for yourself. ...

Bruins Go Down 1-0 In First Period; Young Fan Loses All Sense Of Chill
This kid is apparently six years old, and that is an unsettling piece of information given the fact that he sounds like a nine-week-old baby when he gets upset. Anyway, he's mad because he's just watched his beloved Bruins go down 1-0 to the Leafs in the first period. ...

Sports Columnist Loses His Mind Over Derrick Rose
Derrick Rose has had an uneven start to the season. He's looked pretty damn good when he's on the court, but he's already missed four games due to a pair of sprained ankles he's been dragging around. On Tuesday, he offered a partial explanation for why he's already missed so many games, and it did n...

Anthony Bennett Says He Couldn't See Shit Last Year
Former Cavalier Anthony Bennett, who became perhaps the saddest sad-sack No. 1 overall pick we've ever seen last season, is now a member of the Minnesota Timberwolves and is hoping to bounce back from his terrible rookie campaign. Bennett is hoping that one reason his play will improve is because he...

Let The Burning Of The Jay Cutler Jerseys Begin
Coming off their bye week, Jay Cutler and the 3-5 Bears had plenty of time to prepare for the Green Bay Packers last night, plenty of time to patch up whatever problems gave way to a 51-23 loss to New England in Week 7. Last night's game presented a rested Bears team with some hope at getting a big ...

Steve Nash Thinks These Boobs Are Hilarious (NSFW)
A porn star named Sadie Santana has promised to give every member of the Los Angeles Lakers a blow job (link very NSFW) if the team wins 47 games (ha!) this year. She's spent the last few days on Twitter sending naked pictures to Lakers players, including Steve Nash (NSFW), who enjoyed the picture h...