sad Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Phish Fans Call Out Fenway Girl Pissing In Public
A drunk, underage woman couldn't — or wouldn't — make it to the bathrooms at Fenway last night. This is her story....

<em>Star Wars</em> "Dog" Video Will Unite Fans Of <em>Star Wars</em>, Dogs
Here's a video in which an AT-AT from Star Wars, a long-forgotten sci-fi indie, behaves like a dog. It's pretty terrific. [The Awl]...

Mark Prior's Comeback Just Manages To Depress Us All Over Again
Prior's going to work out for scouts tomorrow, in the hopes of getting back to the big leagues. It's sad, and unsurprising, and we all wish him luck as we expect him to fail....

A Treasury Of Ghana Fans Celebrating Their Win Over The U.S.
Okay, so I've only found two videos so far, both post-game. I guess Ghanaians aren't self-absorbed enough to film themselves watching soccer in bars. We'll also accept videos of U.S. fans crying, so send either if you've got them....

Billy The Marlin Really Should Have Reconsidered High-Fiving In This Situation (UPDATE)
What in the name of Jim Rose Sideshow is going on here? One reader suggested that this armless gentleman "threw out the first pitch" at a recent Marlins game but that seems highly unlikely. If so, please send video. We'll update....

Dress Your Athletes In Cornrows And Denim
Bring back all your most deeply repressed memories with this slideshow of 50 Worst Athlete Style Fails. Dwight Howard in wideleg manpris! Brett Favre rocking "Caesar bangs"! Somewhere, a Nehru jacket-clad Craig Sager shrugs, unimpressed. [Complex.com; D-League Digest]...

Instant Messages You Never Want To Receive From Your World Cup Correspondent
Luke: well, i just got robbed me: what? what happened? Luke: they took my tickets man my tickets to [USA-Ghana] they pickpocketed me me: who did? ah fuck Luke: i don't know! some fuck...

Bleusballed In Paris: Laughing Along At France's Implosion With The Happily Unhappy French
Whether in a Parisian bar or at the local office of the Association of the Friends of the Paris Commune, Deadspin foreign correspondent John Harpham found the French delighting ever so Frenchily in their national team's disgrace....

Two Ladies Kissing At A Baseball Game Is Technically A Sports-Related Post
Reader Sean sends along this video of some action in the seats at last night's Dodgers/Angels tilt. Let's all say thank you to Sean....

Spirit Airlines Graduates From Hornball Puns About Oral Sex To Hornball Puns About Catastrophic Oil Spills
The crappy budget carrier, known for its studiedly edgy marketing tailored to the Cocks-hats-and-Rohypnol crowd, is now cracking wise about the BP oil spill: "Check Out The Oil On Our Beaches." Seriously? Who besides Joe Hazelwood is this supposed to appeal to? [Sparty & Friends]...

Did Manute Bol Coin The Phrase "My Bad"?
Well, maybe he didn't invent it (see also: Shakespeare, William), but he certainly helped popularize it among the NBA and its fans. That guy's death was a damn shame. [Language Log, via, via, via]...

Here's Something That Will Make You Cry If You Are A Big Hairy Sap: John McDonald's Father's Day Homer
What he thought after hitting a home run in his first at bat after his dad's death: "Probably the fact that I couldn't call my dad after the game to tell him." FUCK, I'M BAWLING. [BigLeagueStew] [Via MLB.com]...

Sad Spanish Fan Gives The Universal Gesture For "We Lost To The Freaking Swiss By One Goal"
Switzerland produced the World Cup's first big upset, and this guy produced his middle finger on camera. H/T Adam K....

Tonya Harding Sex Fantasy Page Still Surprisingly Active
Here's an unwelcome departure from refuckingallignment and World Cup news: Tonya Harding, disgraced former figure skater, still has fans. Horny fans, actually, who not-so-eloquently fantasize about "karate fucking" her and other disturbing coital activities....

Weightlifter Pukes Attempting 1,000-lb Squat
This man didn't successfully squat 1,008 pounds, but he did manage to vomit all over the judge before passing out. (Great job by the spotter at the end, btw.) Did I mention it was projectile vomiting? [LastAngryFan via WindyCitizen]...

And Now Your Zen-Like Moment From Will Leitch's Wedding Weekend
This horrifying exhibition of dance moves to "Cupid Shuffle" was perpetrated by Emeritus at his post-rehearsal dinner fete and not at Blogs With Balls. Even the whitest of rhythmless white people might find this unsettling....

After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...

Just Because: Video Of Justin Bieber Walking Into A Glass Door
I would ask how seeing this makes you feel, however, I'm guessing there are not a lot of 14-year-old girls reading this website right now, so I think I have my answer. [YouTube]...

This Is What Happens When You Do Ecstasy At Home By Yourself In Your Underwear
He actually took a sedative to calm himself down a bit. Then, of course, he strips and dances around with a pacifier in his mouth. Because it's rave or die time, I assume. Mesmerizing. [ViaAlexBlagg'sTwitter]...

Yes, The "N" In ESPN Looks Like Boba Fett
You can now impress every PTI-obsessed stormtrooper at the next sporty Star Wars gathering you attend. Those exist, right? [TheDailyWhat]...