sad Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The One Where The LA Angels Catcher's Mom Accidentally Shows Her Nipple On New Year's Eve
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...
"I Really Have Nothing To Say": 13 Years Of Sad Bert Blyleven Reactions
Every year, poor Bert Blyleven falls short of Cooperstown, and every year, he's asked how it feels. Looking back on 13 years of his glum responses is almost heartbreaking, like watching a frown in slow motion....
Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times. Jesus.
Lange's mother found him Saturday at his Hoboken apartment. He had six hesitation wounds, according to the New York Post, and three "deep plunges." Doctors managed to save him despite heavy bleeding. [NYP]...
The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....
The Urban Meyer 911 Call Is Unbearably Sad
"Urban, Urban, talk to me," says his wife, Shelley, while on the phone with the dispatcher. "He almost sounds like he's kind of trying to cry." [ESPN]...
And Here's One Rejected Deadspin Commenter Who Decided To Take His Frustration Out On A Message Board
This is a pretty surreal temper tantrum by one young man named "awwhites" who was not pleased about the silly little audition process you poor people have to go through to type here....
<em>Washington Times</em> Sports Section Goes To That Big Moonie Wedding In The Sky
"As of this writing, the staff hasn't been told anything official, but the paper is moving forward with plans for a new product on Monday, and there have been no indications that product will include sports." RIP. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
For Those Girls About To Mosh, We Salute You
Just cuz. I've been mesmerized by this all day. [YouTube]...
Bengals Cheerleader Files Suit Against The Dirty.com Over Horrid STD Rumor
The woman, identified as "Sarah J" in The Dirty's post and "Jane Doe" in the lawsuit, claims the website libeled her when they published an email suggesting her ex-boyfriend was a disease-riddled scuzzbot who probably infected her with something scabby....
Even Australian Ladies Love To Taunt The Crocodiles
Yesterday, we were introduced to this weird Aussie croc-trap game and it appears it's become the newest fad all the cool kids are doing, like Tokyo drifting and that huffing. [The Daily Telegraph]...
Pat Riley Preferred to Parcel Out Looks of Disdain
Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra dubbed himself "Santa Spo" and "presented players with a vocabulary calendar and the book The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy." Merry ... Christmas? [Miami Herald]...
More Last Minute Gift Ideas: A Murder Conviction
A Yankee fan who ran over a Red Sox fan with her car after he mocked her team has been found guilty of second-degree murder. Shockingly, the New England jury did not consider it justifiable homicide....
Bizarre Recruiting Hoax Fools None, Confuses All
A sad young man is accused of recruiting high school football players for East Carolina—a school he has no affiliation with and that has never heard of him. What could have been the point of this not-so-master plan?...
White Advocate To Integrate MLB Dies
You know Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey, but maybe not Lester Rodney, the sportswriter who campaigned to break baseball's color line from the august pages of The Daily Worker, the U.S. Communist Party's rag. He died Sunday at 98. [Olbermann]...
Fox Robot Makes Perfect Stocking Stuffer For People You Hate
Someone is actually selling 10" action figures of Cleatus, the audience-enraging Fox football robot. Unless it's a voodoo doll I can stuff with dynamite to put us all out of our misery, I'm not interested. [Foamheads]...
Desperate Fan Just Wants To Win Something So He's Asking For Your Help
From an emailer: "There's a $50 gift certificate prize on a blog I frequent for identifying this guy and I want to win...only I have no idea who this dude is. I'm counting on you deadspin...don't let me down." Go....
The Drug-addled Voice Of The Carolina Panthers Comes Clean
"Jon Robinson had everything — looks, voice, charisma," a colleague said of the former Maryland hoopster, drive-time radio host, television anchor, Carolina Panthers public address announcer and, all along, cocaine and heroin addict....
Teen Guilty of "Horsing Around!" (Also Probably Seriously Mentally Ill)
Wacky sporting news for you crazy kids! "Goshen teen charged with having sex with horses."...
Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama
Yesterday, we told you about the Alabama lawyers (pictured?) who asked a judge to postpone their case so they can attend the BCS Championship Game. Well, the judge—an Auburn fan!—granted their request. It's a travesty of good sportsmanship....