sad Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

U.S. Striker Charlie Davies In Surgery After Serious Car Accident (UPDATE)
The national team's promising 23-year-old forward was apparently involved in this grim one-car accident along the George Washington Parkway, which ripped an SUV in half. One woman died at the scene. Davies' injuries are reportedly not life-threatening....

Theo Fleury Admits He Was Abused By Junior Coach
Hockey observers had long suspected that something was not right with former Calgary star Theo Fleury and now he admits in a new book what they knew all along—he was sexually abused by youth hockey coach Graham James....

Good Guys Wear Briefs
Here's a video of a sad White Sox vendor in his underwear horsewhipping a bench. This is apparently some grand tradition that dates back to those days when the Sox were managed by the Marquis de Sade. [Sun-Times]...

The Nationals Should Give This Guy Season Tickets For Life
Great story from Captain Steinberg, still exiled in Bogville, about a Nationals fan who saw 19 home games for D.C.'s awful baseball team this year — and they managed to lose every single one of them....

Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Shot By Gun-Toting Husband
Tragic outcome to this story which made national news last year ago. Melanie Hain, a soccer mother who showed up at her daughter's soccer game packing heat, was shot to death by her husband in an apparent murder-suicide. [PennLive]...

Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...

Ball The Pretty Horses: High Schoolers Show School Spirit With Equine Double-Team T-Shirts (UPDATE)
It seems a few hairy-palmed scamps at Houston's Memorial High School recently sold the t-shirt you see here to commemorate their Mustangs' football game against archrival Stratford. Think this is the only bit of Memorial-related horsefucking? Nay!...

Humiliated Redskins Fan Spared Humiliating Death
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Chicago Mourns The Loss Of Civic Nuisance, Massive Boondoggle Known As The Olympics
Chicago had this thing and it was fucking golden and then, suddenly, it wasn't. And even though Jacques Rogge and the IOC saved the city the enormous, crippling burden of hosting their big track meet, some people were very sad....

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

Catholic School Teams Make The Best Videos
A reader sent this in to add it to our gallery of team photos. But this deserves its own post, for you see, it's a high school team's music video. And it's every bit as amazing as you could imagine....

Chuck Knoblauch Arrested For Assault
The former major leaguer was charged with choking his common law wife and hitting her in the face. I think it's safe to say he didn't hit her with a baseball. (Hey, at least I didn't mention the steroids!) [KARE11]...

The Last Days Of Sal Fasano
SI Writer Jeff Pearlman goes back to the Fasano well for the most depressing piece yet. Sal's now 38, and struggling: "You can't help but question your sanity. You're driven by one thing — hope."[SI]...

Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
Type "mets fan" into Google Images and you get a good cross-section of Mets Nation, everything from the disappointed to the dejected. A prime example: that downtrodden, scruffy-looking twentysomething with his hands held hopelessly atop his rally cap....

Chris Fowler Feels Clemson Fan's Pain (Not Really)
If you watched Georgia Tech beat Clemson two weeks ago, you might have noticed this Tiger fan's Oscar reel for Most Distraught Football Fanatic and the announcing crew's on-air sympathy. Of course, off the air was a different story....

The Charles Rogers Comeback Hits Another Snag
The former Spartan/Lion was found slumped over in his Mercedes—which was running and still in gear—and was arrested for DUI last night. Or DU Parking. Clearly, he was too drunk to be drunk driving. [Fox]...

It's Fight Night In The Bronx
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cub Fans Ruin Their Own Child's Life By Making Her A Cubs Fan
A Chicagoan e-mailed to ask why I have no love for the Windy City. Someone else e-mailed the answer. Meet new North Side resident, Waitle Nex Yeare. With any luck, the state has already placed her in protective custody. [Slanch]...

Starbury Addresses The Gay Jokes In True Starbury Fashion
With another video. In which he sings. And displays his painted toenails. And says, "If you think I'm gay, leave me in a room with your girl for an hour and she's gonna tell you how gay I am." [NESWsports.com]...

Harrison Accuser Dies From Gunshot Wounds
Dwight Dixon, the man who accused Marvin Harrison of shooting him back in 2008, was shot again this July and never regained consciousness. He died on Friday. No charges have been filed in either case. [Philly Daily News]...