sad Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nobody Has It Better Than Liverpool
Along the vast spectrum of possible states a soccer club could exist in, there is a vanishingly small patch that, for my tastes, qualifies as ideal....
Now Here Is One God-Awful Way To Lose A Baseball Game
If you are the type of person who does not enjoy watching people experience self-inflicted embarrassments in public, heed these two warnings: Do not listen to this clip of an author finding out live on radio that the entire premise of her latest book is false, and do not watch this clip from yesterd...
Bryson DeChambeau Foiled By Dumbass Stupid Flagstick And Dumbass Stupid Hole
Bryson DeChambeau leads the field after shooting six under par in the opening round of The Masters. Despite this, he has as much reason as anybody to feel bitter about how the course treated him on Thursday....
In His Fifth Appearance Of The Season, Trevor Rosenthal Finally Recorded An Out
If you haven’t spent all of your pity on walking tragedy Chris Davis, whose hitless streak reached 50 at-bats last night, spare some for Nationals reliever Trevor Rosenthal. After missing an entire season to Tommy John surgery and getting released by the Cardinals, Rosenthal landed in Washington thi...
TJ Dillashaw's Bad Year Gets Worse
After defending his UFC bantamweight championship against Cody Garbrandt last year, T.J. Dillashaw sought to shut down the flyweight division by whooping on Henry Cejudo then possibly move up to 145 pounds and fight Max Holloway. But now, instead of having three title belts, he has zero....
LeBron James Suffers Latest Humiliation At The Hands Of Mario Hezonja
It was all set up for LeBron James, nearing the end of a crappy first season with the Los Angeles Lakers, to have another one of his moments. He loves to craft highlights on the Knicks’ home floor, and to talk afterwards about how much “the Mecca” means to him as—as a student of basketball history o...
Liverpool Will Go As Far As Sadio Mané Takes Them<em></em>
Faced with a most unenviable task—walking into Bayern Munich’s home stadium and needing to come away with a win or, at the very least, a scoring draw—Liverpool turned to their streaky African forward, who drove them to a commanding 3-1 victory and into the quarterfinals of the Champions League. No, ...
The Pistons Have Played Like Stepped-In Dog Shit For Two Straight Games
Just four days ago, the Detroit Pistons clobbered the Bulls 131-108 at home, extending what had been a surprisingly nice little run of games for such a terminally mediocre franchise. That win over the Bulls was Detroit’s 12th in 15 games, and they were starting to look like a team deserving of a pla...
Soccer Man Celebrates Goal With A 10-Foot Drop Into A Pit Of Despair
Anderson Lopes is a Brazilian striker who recently joined Japanese club Hokkaido Consadole Sapporo. His debut on Saturday went about as well as anyone could have asked of him as he scored four goals in his first minutes with the club....
This Beautiful But Needlessly Complicated Goal Is Sadio Mané In A Nutshell
Sadio Mané is the kind of player who tends to make easy things look unnecessarily difficult and impossible things look effortless. It’s hard to find a better encapsulation of this than the goal he scored today in Liverpool’s match against Watford:...
This Beautiful But Needlessly Complicated Goal Is Sadio Mané In A Nutshell
Sadio Mané is the kind of player who tends to make easy things look unnecessarily difficult and impossible things look effortless. It’s hard to find a better encapsulation of this than the goal he scored today in Liverpool’s match against Watford:...
Golf Pro Shoots 17 On Par 4, Gets Owned By His Dad
Ben DeArmond, a South Florida PGA Professional golfer, was among the field at a Web.com Tour event that kicked off yesterday. The SFPGA was excited for him, and tweeted their encouragement before he teed off:...
Report: Carmelo Anthony Has Been Dug Out Of The Crawl Space And Placed On The Corner
Hey, remember Carmelo Anthony? After a decidedly bad season in Oklahoma City, where he was supposed to help put the Thunder into title contention, he went to Houston with the intention of providing some shooting and keeping the Rockets in title contention. That pipe dream lasted mere weeks before he...
Smooth-Brained Trump Lackey Finds Worst Possible Use For <i>NBA 2K19</i>
The latest iteration of the NBA 2K franchise allows players to design and customize their very own NBA arena. Nobody has put this feature to more depressing use than former White House communications staffer Steven Cheung:...
90-Year-Old Cyclist Stripped Of World Record After Failing Anti-Doping Test
Last July, 90-year-old cyclist Carl Grove was the lone competitor in his age group at the U.S. Masters Track Championships, where he set an age-group world record in the individual pursuit with a time of 3:06:129. Sadly, Grove subsequently popped a positive for the banned steroid epitrenbolone in a ...
The Sad, Short Story Of The First Responder Bowl
We all had this day circled on our calendars, because this is the day that Boston College and Boise State were set to meet in the big game—the one we’ve all been waiting for, the one that kept us awake last night: the First Responder Bowl. I regret to inform you that the First Responder Bowl has bee...
The Raiders Are An Abyss
After a 20-6 loss to the Chargers, in a performance dispirited even for the Raiders, head coach Jon Gruden provided the quote that ought to be slapped onto the season-in-review DVDs, before those DVDs are immediately buried in a depleted copper mine, the mine entrance sealed off with concrete and th...
Will Someone Please Befriend These Sad, Lonely People So The Rest Of Us Don't Have To Deal With Them?
Donald Trump is horrible and disgusting, and the menagerie of melting, gelatinous creatures surrounding him are also horrible and disgusting, but they’re not really new. The behavior they’ve exhibited over the last three years came into focus, in Facebook and before long silences at family dinners, ...
Let's Briefly Check In On The Minnesota Timberwolves
Now seems like a time to pop in and see what’s going on with the T-Wolves, and specifically Karl-Anthony Towns, who spent the last few weeks of the offseason getting shat on by teammate and supreme cheesebutt Jimmy Butler....
You Can't Hide Eli Manning
Here’s a fun thing to think about: Has an offense with the quality of skill players that the New York Giants possess ever looked this bad? This is a team that lines up one of the best wide receivers in football, a rookie running back who treats defenders like bad guys in a Kung Fu movie, and a big, ...