sadwhimsy Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Browns Really Want You To Buy This Whole Brock Osweiler Thing
Please remember that the only reason Brock Osweiler is currently on the Browns’ roster is because the Texans were so desperate to be rid of him that they gave Cleveland a second-round pick for absorbing Osweiler’s $16 million salary this season. Also remember that Browns GM Sashi Brown was most exci...
Jeff Fisher's Futile War Against Pockets Now Has Dialogue
The highlight of the 2016-17 Rams’ season was former head coach Jeff Fisher struggling to find his challenge flag in the pockets of his big coat. Now, thanks to Amazon’s All Or Nothing, we can relive the moment with full, on-field audio:...
Is This The First Time Allen Iverson Has Ever Heard "White Iverson"?
You’re familiar with Allen Iverson, but you may not be familiar with Post Malone, a rapper whose first hit single is called “White Iverson.” Last night, Malone and Iverson met for what appears to be the first time, which was big news for Malone’s fanbase, which I assume mostly consists of dirtbag wh...
Here Are Some People Hitting Golf Balls At A Ruined Pontiac Silverdome
The Pontiac Silverdome used to be the home of the Bad Boys, Barry Sanders, and Wrestlemania. Now it hosts ruin and some illegal Volkswagens. Here’s a video of some people who went there to hit golf balls, because reality television....
Browns Charge Job-Seekers Up To $105 To Enter Useless "Career Fair"<em></em>
The Cleveland Browns hosted a career fair last weekend that, in keeping with the Browns’ reputation, did not actually offer many jobs, and left multiple paid attendees feeling cheated....
<i>Thursday Night Football</i> Commercial: Folks, Remember The Freakin' Dress?!?
The NFL has been dealing with low television ratings all season, and people have all sorts of theories about why that is. One theory that the NFL itself seems to buy into is that the league isn’t doing enough to appeal to meme enthusiasts, because I can’t imagine why else this commercial was created...
Dipshits Who Allegedly Burglarized DeMarcus Ware's House Caught On Security Camera
Broncos linebacker DeMarcus Ware returned home from Monday night’s game against the Houston Texans to discover that his house had been burglarized. Ware was understandably upset, but was also comforted by the fact that his house was equipped with hidden cameras....
Tiger Woods Is Now Golf's Washed-Up Uncle
Tiger Woods is still too old and fucked up to play golf, but he is capable of serving as a vice captain for the United States’ Ryder Cup team. Somebody forgot to tell Tiger that vice captains aren’t allowed to be in the team photo:...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Is Not So Great At Jokes
Giannis Antetokounmpo is a 21-year-old who just signed a $100 million contract, so you can imagine why he might have been feeling a little giddy heading into NBA media day. He was feeling so good, in fact, that he began his session with reporters by firing off a joke that would have made even the la...
I Respect <i>American Ninja Warrior's</i> Complete Lack Of Mercy
I don’t watch American Ninja Warrior all that often, but every time I do I find myself enjoying it far more than I expected. Last night, NBC aired Week 1 of the National Finals, and it was a rad time. Bunches of seasoned competitors were undone by a particularly difficult course, and Jessie Graff be...
Defending Gold Medalist Diver Scores A Perfect Zero
Ilia Zakharov won the gold medal in the 3m springboard event at the 2012 Olympics. He made it all the way to the semi-finals at this year’s games, and that’s where his quest to win back-to-back golds went very wrong....
Wimbledon Line Judge Goes For Fist Bumps, Is Rudely Denied
It’s Wimbledon, man. Everyone’s excited. I’m excited, you’re excited, and so is this line judge who wants to get the pre-match juices flowing with a few well-struck fist bumps:...
That Time Steph Curry Stepped On Randy Foye's Soul
Randy, welcome to the Steph Curry Ruined My Life support group. Why don’t you grab a coffee and a donut and have a seat next to Paul Allen....
Steve Delabar Walked In Four Straight Runs And It Was The Saddest Shit
You ready for some grim baseball, my friends? Then let me tell you about Steve Delabar, the Reds reliever who walked four straight batters with the bases loaded last night....
Patrick Beverley Mercilessly Owns Kid In One-On-One
This one-on-one game, which Patrick Beverley decided to dominate, is like that scene in Rushmore where Bill Murray blocks the shit out of that kid, but for five minutes straight. ...
What's Your Favorite Play From The Sixers' Official T.J. McConnell Highlight Reel?
The Philadelphia Sixers invite you to enjoy the “scrap, hustle, drives, step-backs, and spirit” that define T.J. McConnell, a rookie point guard who averaged six points and 4.5 assists in 19 minutes per game this season, and starred in the grimmest of all 76er anecdotes....
Tracy McGrady Doesn't Need This Shit, Man
Robert Horry, whose career scoring average is equal to the number of championship rings he has, did Tracy McGrady very dirty on today’s episode of The Jump....
Ernie Els Started The Masters With A 7-Putt, And It Was Excruciating
You know that sickly feeling you get you’re watching a particularly violent scene in a horror movie that just goes on for way too long? That’s how watching Ernie Els seven-putt his way to a sextuple bogey on the first hole of the Masters will make you feel....
Report: Browns Put Final Nail In RGIII's Coffin
Of all the teams involved in this offseason’s game of Mediocre Quarterback Musical Chairs, the Cleveland Browns had the most options. Of course, this only meant that the Browns had an array of sinkholes to fall into, and they seem to have finally chosen the one with Robert Griffin III at the bottom....
Here Are Some Highlights From A Georgian Basketball League's All-Star Game. Strap In For The Good Shit.
Are you ready for this shit? I don’t think you’re ready for this shit. Okay, sit down, put this video on full screen, and make sure you have a cigarette handy. You’re going to need it after watching these mind-blowing highlights....