sadwhimsy Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Don't Play Australian Open Tennis In Your Toilet, So Please Don't Pee On Our Court
An Australian Open match was delayed by 40 minutes today when a (nervous? sick?) ballboy peed himself on the court. At least he has a long fruitful life of intense psychological therapy ahead of him. [The Age/Fanhouse]...
Watch Junior Seau Castrate A Horse With His Hand
Seau prepares for retired life by squishing horse balls on his "Sports Job" television show. It's as gross as you'd expect. I guess it's technically safe for work because, for some reason, they blurred out the poor horse's testicles. [Versus]...
Scottie Pippen Would <u>Not</u> Like To Thank All The Little People
Pippen was attacked by little people. Pippen sent one of the little people to the hospital. This is a thing that happened....
The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....
And Here's One Rejected Deadspin Commenter Who Decided To Take His Frustration Out On A Message Board
This is a pretty surreal temper tantrum by one young man named "awwhites" who was not pleased about the silly little audition process you poor people have to go through to type here....
For Those Girls About To Mosh, We Salute You
Just cuz. I've been mesmerized by this all day. [YouTube]...
Bengals Cheerleader Files Suit Against The Dirty.com Over Horrid STD Rumor
The woman, identified as "Sarah J" in The Dirty's post and "Jane Doe" in the lawsuit, claims the website libeled her when they published an email suggesting her ex-boyfriend was a disease-riddled scuzzbot who probably infected her with something scabby....
Even Australian Ladies Love To Taunt The Crocodiles
Yesterday, we were introduced to this weird Aussie croc-trap game and it appears it's become the newest fad all the cool kids are doing, like Tokyo drifting and that huffing. [The Daily Telegraph]...
Pat Riley Preferred to Parcel Out Looks of Disdain
Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra dubbed himself "Santa Spo" and "presented players with a vocabulary calendar and the book The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy." Merry ... Christmas? [Miami Herald]...
Bizarre Recruiting Hoax Fools None, Confuses All
A sad young man is accused of recruiting high school football players for East Carolina—a school he has no affiliation with and that has never heard of him. What could have been the point of this not-so-master plan?...
Fox Robot Makes Perfect Stocking Stuffer For People You Hate
Someone is actually selling 10" action figures of Cleatus, the audience-enraging Fox football robot. Unless it's a voodoo doll I can stuff with dynamite to put us all out of our misery, I'm not interested. [Foamheads]...
Desperate Fan Just Wants To Win Something So He's Asking For Your Help
From an emailer: "There's a $50 gift certificate prize on a blog I frequent for identifying this guy and I want to win...only I have no idea who this dude is. I'm counting on you deadspin...don't let me down." Go....
Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama
Yesterday, we told you about the Alabama lawyers (pictured?) who asked a judge to postpone their case so they can attend the BCS Championship Game. Well, the judge—an Auburn fan!—granted their request. It's a travesty of good sportsmanship....
The Toughest Fantasy Football Defeat Of All
Fidelity Investments recently fired four employees for organizing fantasy football leagues, because investment bankers have very strict rules about only gambling with other people's money. [Star-Telegram, via Yahoo; photo via]...
What Weirdos Are Coming To Deadspin
Every once in a while I'll pop into Google Analytics to see what brings people to the site. Some are easily explained ("Tiger Woods Accident"); others, not so much ("andrei kirilenko masha woman (sleep or bed or sex)"). Observe....
Boston's "Santa Speedo Run" Brings Out All Sorts Of People
And not just ones who like to celebrate Christmas by showing off how a corporate membership at the Boston Sports Club has sculpted their bodies. No, it also brings out the lurking perverts. (Not Jay Mariotti.) [Boston.com]...
Guns, Booze, and Saints Fans: A Drama In One Act
Even if this turns out to be a viral video for Smith and Wesson, you kind of know this really happened somewhere in Louisiana, right? [YouTube, thanks Ed!]...
"Famous" Would Have Been Pushing It
Unlikely headline of the day: "Well-Known Badminton Player Dies." [North-West Evening Mail]...
Comcast Continues To Find Hidden Subtext Of NBA Games
A reader sends us more evidence of a Comcast cable guide curator who is maybe missing the point of a particular NBA game. Unless Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess have a secret love child that I haven't heard about....
Gay Lip-Readers All Over America Are Upset With Jim Harbaugh
I don't know. I think he may have said "Fucking Asshole Fungus." [TowleRoad]...