scary-scary-drugs Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hey, Baseball, You Can Stop Overcorrecting Now
So baseball suspended Ryan Braun for the rest of the season because he... well, because he did SOMETHING, gosh darnit. And this suspension was met with a collective roar of clucking approvals from Hot Sports Take providers all across our fair nation. Christine Brennan and her colleagues got their ...
Nation Demands Hot Ryan Braun Takes; Sports Pundits Provide Them
When news broke yesterday that Ryan Braun was suspended for something or other under some or other authority, millions of baseball fans wondered two things. One was, How will this affect my fantasy team? The other was, Will the takes be hot? We can't answer the first question, but we can tell you th...
Ryan Braun Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
And here we go....
Bob Nightengale Is An All-Star Of Pearl-Clutching
Poe's Law, PED edition—Take a look at this lede, and just try to convince me this is real outrage and not a parody of concern-trolling:...
Veteran MLB Umpire Brian Runge Fired For Violating League Drug Policy
MLB has fired 14-year veteran umpire Brian Runge for a violation of the league drug policy, according to the Associated Press. Runge is believed to be the first umpire punished under big league random drug testing protocols....
Female Sprinting Star Suspended For Failed Drug Test
Jamaica's Veronica Campbell-Brown, winner of the 2004 and 2008 Olympics women's 200m and reigning world champion, reportedly failed a drug test after testing positive for a banned diuretic used as a masking agent....
Why Don't We Let Injured Athletes Use PEDs?
Reliever Ryan Madson missed all of 2012 after Tommy John surgery, but signed with the Angels expecting to be healthy to begin the season. It hasn't happened, and he doesn't seem much closer. So he wonders, "If HGH were legal..."...
The Weed That Came To Chris Perez's House Was Addressed To His Dog
The standard athlete-busted-for-misdemeanor-weed-possession story is one that's rarely fun to study. The drug in question is less harmful than lots of legal substances, and the details hardly shift (cop pulls someone over, cop smells something, etc.) in each case. But every so often there's a magic...
10 Or So Thoughts On Biogenesis, A Scandal For All The Wrong Reasons
A few observations, in no special order, on the latest iteration of the scandal, now ongoing for at least 124 years, involving major league ballplayers using steroids:...
Indians Closer Chris Perez Is The Subject Of A Dumb Panic Over Weed
And it got started because Zack Meisel, a reporter for Indians.com, tweeted that Perez was "arrested for drug possession," and that police in Rocky River, Ohio, "confirm" it. One problem: It wasn't true, and Perez may not be involved at all....
Lindsey Vonn Had To Take A Drug Test While At An Awards Show
According to a report from the New York Post, Olympic skier and drunk Tiger Woods wrangler Lindsey Vonn was ambushed by drug testers from the International Olympic Committee while at the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards (sounds made up), and was forced to take a drug test on the spot....
ESPN: MLB Plans To Suspend Everyone Connected To Biogenesis
In late January, the Miami New Times broke the story of South Florida's Biogenesis anti-aging clinic, the shop that allegedly provided human growth hormone and other drugs to major leaguers. The press uncovered records linking lots of big names—Ryan Braun, Alex Rodriguez, Nelson Cruz—to Biogenesis's...
The SEC Might Get A Uniform Drug-Testing Policy, Which Is Dumb
Some SEC school officials have been pushing for the implementation of a conference-wide substance-abuse policy, a move that would regulate the testing and punishment policies for every school in the conference. Why are they doing this? Because they are sore losers....
Now Vijay Singh Is Suing The PGA Tour Because Of Deer Antler Spray
Deer antler spray may not be effective at delivering a growth hormone, but it does keep giving strength to dumb stories....
Baseball Player Uses Teammate's Pee For Drug Test, Fails Drug Test
Pro tip: If you're going to use somebody else's pee to try and weasel your way out of a drug test, don't borrow pee from the guy who has an Adderall prescription....
Deer Antler Spray Panic: Vijay Singh Is Dumb, But He's Not A Doper
Vijay Singh admitted to using deer antler spray, a "supplement" containing the banned substance IGF-1. But deer antler spray is so ineffective at delivering IGF-1 that the PGA tour has decided not to punish him. This is almost more embarrassing for Singh: he may not be suspended, but he did get scam...
Ingenious Prank Sends Parents Into Weed Panic
Comedian Nathan Fielder came up with a wonderful idea yesterday. He instructed his Twitter followers to text "got 2 grams for $20" to their parents, immediately follow up with "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you," and then tweet a screenshot of the ensuing conversation. The results were, as you mig...