Old Man Wayne Rooney Adds Ridiculous Free-Kick Goal To MLS Highlight Reel

Former Manchester United star Wayne Rooney’s first season in MLS was already a huge success before last night’s game against Toronto. He came into it with nine goals and seven assists in 18 appearances, and as the owner of one of the best soccer highlights you’ll ever see. In the 18th minute of last night’s game,…

Iranian Official: Women Will Not Be Allowed Into Soccer Stadiums Again Because "Half-Naked" Athletes Will Make Them Too Horny

Yesterday, Iran put together a cheap little PR stunt in order to pretend the government cares about its wildly retrograde prohibition against women attending live soccer matches by allowing a handpicked selection of ladies to enter Azadi Stadium to watch a friendly match between Iran and Bolivia. However, Iranian…

Maybe Paco Alcácer Sold His Soul To The Devil For The Power To Score Whenever He Wants

Though Paco Alcácer’s goal today came when Spain were already down big in their UEFA Nations League match against England, the weight of the scoreline was never going to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in delight. Alcácer had stepped over the sideline and into a 3-0 hiding in the 57th minute, and…

Look! On The Pitch! It's Messi! It's Ronaldo! It's A Goalie Goal!

If you’re going to score a goal as a keeper, you might as well be like KRC Gent’s Kevin Frans in Belgium’s fourth division yesterday and make it a stoppage time, point-saving wonder strike of an overhead kick. You’ll probably only get one—maybe two—in your whole career, so you’d better make it count:

The Biggest Game Of The Premier League Season Was Kind Of A Dud

It’s generally not a good testament to a soccer match’s quality when the most compelling footage taken from the game involves a couple of guys talking to each other. That was the case for yesterday’s hyped-up Liverpool vs. Manchester City match, a clash that had everyone who’d tuned in giddy to watch the explosion of…