screamer Page 136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
These Degenerate Emailers Want The Full Soccer Player Orgy Video, Please
Since we wrote on Sunday about the orgy in Thailand involving three Leicester City players, we’ve received a few requests for the full video, as if Deadspin is a subscription service hoarding soccer player orgies unless contacted by email. The inquiries:...
Hope Solo's Redemption Tour Has Begun
The Women’s World Cup starts June 6, and, right on time, frequently-arrested USWNT keeper Hope Solo’s reclamation project is starting up, too. If you’re wondering why this campaign is happening, we have no answers for you; all we can do is point you to the first stop, a long, gushy, and somewhat con...
Sepp Blatter's Top Lieutenant Named In World Cup Bribe Allegations
Jerome Valcke, FIFA’s secretary general and Sepp Blatter’s No. 2 man, has been implicated in a scheme that the feds believe involved a $10 million bribe in exchange for votes for the 2010 South Africa World Cup. ...
John Oliver To The Brands: "Please Make Sepp Blatter Go Away"
This week’s Last Week Tonight With John Oliver monologue is very funny. If you’ve been following the increasingly ridiculous FIFA scandal, you’ll delight in Oliver rolling out the greatest hits; if not, prepare to meet grotesques like the FIFA bigwig/government informer who rented an apartment in Tr...
Lionel Messi's Copa Del Rey Wondergoal, As Called Around The World
The undisputed highlight of the weekend is Lionel Messi’s brilliant goal to open the scoring against Athletic Bibao in Saturday’s Copa del Rey final. We brought you the play as called by ESPN Deportes; here’s a YouTube user who has collected 16 different worldwide commentaries to the play, perhaps t...
Arrested Ex-FIFA VP Cites <i>The Onion</i> In Strange Self-Defense Video
Today in Dumb FIFA Man, arrested ex-VP Jack Warner tried to thank his supporters and clear his name during a strange Facebook video in which he cites a report from The Onion to prove FIFA’s generosity. ...
FIFA Sponsors Double Down On Endorsement Of Slavery
If you expected this week’s sham re-election of Sepp Blatter after a massive federal corruption takedown to be the final straw in corporate slave sponsors’ relationship with FIFA, you have far too optimistic a view of the world. McDonald’s, Anheuser-Busch, Coca-Cola, Visa, and other FIFA sponsors ar...
Why Sepp Blatter Will Run FIFA Until He Dies
Toward the end of Sepp Blatter’s victory speech, delivered after riding out the biggest scandal of his career by having his emperorship validated in resounding fashion, the FIFA president looked into the camera and said “I like you.” ...
Italian Paper Alleges FIFA Used Corrupt Refs To Fix 2002 World Cup Games
The 2002 World Cup hosted jointly by South Korea and Japan was already infamous for its horrendous refereeing, most notably two knockout stage match-ups involving South Korea. Today, one Italian paper has linked what was widely believed to be match-fixing behavior back then to this current FIFA scan...
All Hail Sepp Blatter, FIFA Emperor-For-Life
As expected, courageous leader, tenacious progressive, and upstanding citizen Sepp Blatter has won re-election as president of FIFA. His impeccable credentials gave him the overwhelming victory over Guy Who Is Not Sepp Blatter, with the first vote ending up 133-73 before Blatter’s opponent generousl...
Bob Ley Sick Of The Farce That Is FIFA, Rips Up Agenda
FIFA held its presidential election in Zurich today—two days after the United States Justice Department arrested a number of its officials on various charges—but it had a few additional issues to discuss beforehand. ESPN’s Bob Ley, who sounded like he had been awake since the start (which would be a...
Will There Be Enough Votes To Oust Sepp Blatter?
In about five hours, while you are sleeping soundly, FIFA will begin voting in Zurich for its next president. The secret ballot will be held by the 209 member associations of FIFA, who each hold one vote, meaning that Maldives has the same voting power as Germany. In the first round of voting a cand...
How Many Ways Can You Hide A Bribe? The Best Of The FIFA Indictment
“There are some people here who think they are more pious than thou. If you’re pious, open a church, friends. Our business is our business.”...
![Chart: The Qatar World Cup Death Toll Is Stunning [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1272107361699662694.jpg)
Chart: The Qatar World Cup Death Toll Is Stunning [Update]
The Washington Post has put together a chart illustrating the body counts of workers involved in construction for the last four Olympics and two World Cups, and compared them to the reported death toll for the 2022 Qatar World Cup....
Incoming Baseball Scares The Bejesus Out Of Manchester City's Joe Hart
Manchester City are in Toronto right now on a postseason panhandling tour, and they took some time to try their hands at some of those whacky American sports. Three of them joined up with “baseball legend” (??) José Bautista to take some cuts in the batting cage. Most came off fine enough, except fo...
Sepp Blatter Shocked, Shocked To Find That Bribery Is Going On In Here
In a statement released just now, FIFA president Sepp Blatter wants you to know that he’s just as concerned as you are about corruption in his organization. Corruption which comes as a complete surprise to him, and which he totally has nothing to do with....
IRS Goober Hits FIFA With A Tasty Burn
There were a lot of important things to discuss at today’s Department of Justice press conference about the corruption charges being brought against FIFA, but let’s worry about that stuff later. For now, we can focus on this dude from the IRS, who stepped up to the podium and unleashed hell:...
Anti-Corruption NGO Calls For Sepp Blatter To Resign
Sepp Blatter was not among those FIFA officials arrested in Zurich this morning; we do not know if he is among those under investigation for World Cup bribery allegations. But in a statement, a group that monitors corporate, political, and organizational corruption around the globe called for Blatte...
Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA
According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money launder...
José Mourinho Burns Premier League Rivals In Funny Award Speech
Nobody does smug satisfaction better than this guy. Even if this was obviously written by someone else, it’s that textbook José Mourinho delivery that makes it all worthwhile....