screamer Page 137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chinese Goalie Sips From A Refreshing Bottle Of Water, Gets Scored On
OY, HEAD ON A SWIVEL, MATE! KEEP ALERT AT ALL TIMES! Here’s video of Chinese Super League keeper Sui Weijie’s career low:...
Real Madrid Fires Carlo Ancelotti After Two Seasons
Real Madrid told manager Carlo Ancelotti he won’t be back with the team next season, club president Florentino Perez announced Monday. ...
Dumb People Upset Championship Sunday Is Pre-Empting Their Reruns
Among the great things NBC has done since acquiring the Premiership rights in the U.S. is to air all ten matches of the final day of the season on the broad spectrum of NBC Universal-owned networks. That includes Syfy, Esquire, Oxygen, Bravo, and other networks that are usually airing some kind of g...
Horrible, No-Good Keeper Sends Flying, Cleats-First Kick Into Ref's Back
A yellow? You’re going to try to embed your cleats into this unsuspecting referee’s vertebrae for a measly yellow card? The world’s a cold, cold place....
Portuguese Soccer Fan Beaten By Police In Front Of His Son And Father
This weekend, Benfica fan José Magalhães attended an away match against Vitória Guimarães with his son and father. Outside of the stadium, he was thrown to the ground and repeatedly hit by a nightstick before being arrested by police. While the police allege he behaved in an unruly fashion, Magalhãe...
Team-Wide Meltdown Ends With Manager, 4 Players Red-Carded In 5 Minutes
Okay, you’re losing, and it’s at home, and maybe you feel the first straight red shown to one of your players was harsh, but Jesus, guys, get ahold of yourselves....
Report: Marketing Firm Owns Rights To Select Brazil National Team Squad
It probably doesn’t surprise anyone to know that Brazil’s corrupt soccer federation engaged in corrupt behavior, but these newly released documents are pretty alarming. According to Brazilian paper Estadão, the federation sold all sorts of the Seleção’s economic rights to a marketing firm, including...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scoffs At Championship, Exults In His Own Ronaldoness
For pretty much everyone involved or invested in La Liga, the biggest opportunity on offer during yesterday’s penultimate match day of the season was, seemingly, for Barcelona to wrap up the league title by beating Atlético. Cristiano Ronaldo, though, had his eyes on a larger prize. While Barcelona ...
Bored Dummy Cesc Fàbregas Kicks Ball Into West Brom Player's Head
C’mon, Cesc. If you’re gonna pick a fight with someone, you gotta get up in his face. Don’t sit back and kick the ball at him like a little turd. (That being said, good aim, though.)...
More Journalists Arrested While Covering Labor Conditions In Qatar
Just like those Germans a couple weeks ago, a crew of British journalists investigating the living and working conditions of the laborers tasked with constructing the (really cool!) infrastructure for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar were arrested, had their property confiscated, and were forbidden from ...
Stadium Lied To; Fans, Players Cheer Title They Didn't Win
Strap yourselves in, because this story is batshit....
Banned Manager Hires Cherry-Picker To Let Him Watch Match
Hamit Işık is banned from entering his team’s stadium for the next nine months, but that didn’t keep the Çorum Belediyespor manager from keeping an eye on his team’s playoff game. The Turkish league skipper is suspended for a recent interaction with a referee, and the stadium itself was closed to fa...
All Pro Soccer In Argentina Suspended After Player Shoved Into Wall Dies
Emanuel Ortega, the player who was hospitalized after getting pushed into a wall, has died from his injuries. In light of this, the Asociación del Fútbol Argentino has suspended play in all divisions throughout the country....
Insane Venezuelan Fan Karate-Kicks Player In The Middle Of An Interview
Holy shit! Just...holy shit!...
Check Out The Cool Things Qatar's Slaves Will Build For The World Cup!
We could rightly be accused of focusing almost exclusively on the negatives coming from the corrupt, morally-deplorable, slavery-fueled, death-riddled, yet inevitable 2022 World Cup set to be hosted in Qatar, so let’s take a change of tack today. Instead of worrying about that nasty business, let’s ...
Cristiano Ronaldo And His Teammates Were Really, Really Sad About Losing
We all know how great Cristiano Ronaldo and his Real Madrid teammates are. But acknowledging that doesn’t preclude us from cackling maniacally when they lose, and especially at the distraught looks on their faces when it happens, like today against Juventus. So here are a bunch of pictures of just t...
Álvaro Morata Might've Just Knocked His Old Team Out Of Champions League
Álvaro Morata, one of the best young strikers in the world and a Real Madrid youth product, just scored his second goal of this Champions League semifinal tie. Only it was for his new team, Juventus, and against his boyhood club....
Dumb-Ass Fan Caught On Camera Stealing A Tablet After Press Conference
We can understand the temptation, hanging around after a press conference and seeing all that technology tantalizingly strewn about with no one watching over it. But dude—while looking around all sneaky-like, didn’t you notice all the cameras around? ...
Report: Sepp Blatter Too Afraid Of The FBI To Enter The United States
Slavery-enabler Sepp Blatter might actually be facing consequences for how FIFA awarded the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids to Russia and Qatar. ESPN’s investigative newsmagazine show, E:60, debuted an hour-long documentary on Blatter tonight, and reports that he is so fearful of an FBI investigation i...
Team Protests League Decision By Pitting 7 Kids Against 11 Grown Men
Pictured above is the entirety of the Universitario de Sucre squad that took on Bolívar on Saturday in Bolivia's top division. Yes, that is only seven players. There were no others on the bench. And those seven are all youth players....