screamer Page 160 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ronaldinho Called "Brazilian Ape" By Local Mexican Politician
This couldn't be how Ronaldinho imagined his time in Mexico starting. Barely one week into his tenure as Liga MX club Querétaro's new superstar, he has already been the subject of racist statements, and by a local politician at that....

This Jérémy Ménez Backheel Is A Front-Runner For Goal Of The Year
Wanna see something crazy? Behold AC Milan's Jérémy Ménez score the most impressive goal you'll ever see from less than a yard out. Video below:...

Is Manchester United's Newest Savior A Fraud?
Last summer, Colombian striker Radamel Falcao arrived in Monte Carlo as AS Monaco's new signing and savior from Atlético Madrid, wearing a jacket and shirt combination that all but summed up his brief time on the Côte d'Azur. With the beautiful French Riviera in the background, the salmon jacket, ...

Soccer Player Suspended Two Games For Retweeting Insult To Club Prez
Felipe Melo now knows just how thin-skinned Galatasaray's higher-ups are after he was suspended for two games for retweeting a tweet that implored the club president to consume his own testicles. The tweet's been deleted, but here's a picture of it:...

Four-Star Wide Receiver Recruit Chooses Soccer Over Football
Drake Davis, a junior at Virginia's Fork Union, had the opportunity to be the next Julio Jones or Reggie Wayne at one of the several big-time college football programs that offered him a scholarship. Instead, he's decided to quit football and focus on soccer in hopes of maybe being the next Jozy Alt...

Lawsuit: Soccer Team's Hazing Incident Led To Permanent Brain Injuries
Haley Ellen Hunt, a former Clemson soccer player, has sued players, coaches, and members of the university's administration. The suit alleges she suffered severe injuries when, during a hazing ritual, she was blindfolded, told to blindly sprint as fast as she could, and crashed head-first into a b...

Soccer's Faulty New Money Rule Hurts The Clubs It Was Meant To Protect
Queens Park Rangers are the latest victim of Financial Fair Play, the laudably-aimed yet poorly calibrated rules which are in theory meant to keep teams solvent but in practice keep them from sensibly spending to improve their position, or even from spending money they actually have. Yesterday, Engl...

Parents In Leo Messi's Hometown Can No Longer Name Their Kids "Messi"
In reaction to one Argentine man christening his son "Messi Varela," Mundo Deportivo reports that the city of Rosario has decided to nip any potential trend in the bud by passing a law that prohibits use of the name "Messi" as a first name....

Mario Balotelli Gives Important Words Of Advice To School Children
The start of a soccer season, like the start of a school year, holds the promise of new adventures and fresh starts. Caught up in this spirit of growth and renewal, Mario Balotelli went to Instagram to drop some touching bits of wisdom on today's school children....

Fans Get Too Turnt When Gareth Bale Scores Winner, Start Wrecking Shit
European national teams are competing in Euro 2016 qualifiers today, and so the tiny, sucky nation Wales were tasked with traveling to the smaller, suckier nation of Andorra today. Wales are bad, but they were supposed to win comfortably. Still, it took an 81st-minute free kick from superstar Gareth...

But Seriously, Don't Touch Zlatan Ibrahimović
We've been over this....

Hey, Another Guy Got Kicked In The Head Yesterday
It's getting real out here, man. Yesterday, we saw NFL player Antonio Brown jump kick a punter, and it was fucking gorgeous. Let's keep this going....

Reporter Beaten For Asking Soccer Star If He Ritually Sacrificed Rapper
The brother of Asamoah Gyan, Ghana national team captain, has been arrested for allegedly leading a group of men in the brutal beating of a Ghanaian journalist. The reason for the alleged attack? The reporter had asked Gyan about rumors that he had a missing rapper ritually sacrificed. Wait, what?!?...

Arsenal Players Speak Out Against Homophobia, With Sexy Results
As a matter of policy, we don't usually participate in advertising campaigns. We're making an exception here, though, because a) the advertisement above, featuring several Arsenal players, is for an anti-homophobia campaign, which is fine by us and b) we need a pretext to run the following, which is...

Reporter Claims Xabi Alonso Left Spain Because Of Affair With Singer
Xabi Alonso's departure from Real Madrid was confusing from the beginning. Why would a club leader with an automatic starting spot on the Champions League-winning team up and leave? According to one reporter, the choice was less a vote for Bayern Munich than a chance to save his marriage....

Cute, Deluded Young Leeds Fan Thinks He Can Coach Team To European Cup
Little Zack Webb has already developed some pretty strong convictions in his seven years on Earth. One is that Leeds are tops. Another is that the club could be the best in the world. Most importantly, he knows he's the man to make it happen....

Lionel Messi Still Has Haters In Argentina
Just when we thought Lionel Messi had finally gotten over his fraught past with his native Argentina, some random Argentine coach reminds us of how shortsighted those South Americans can be. Or maybe he's right and Messi really should just quit soccer and "go play golf instead."...

The Hard Work Of Loving Soccer In 1980s America
Excerpted from The Soccer Diaries: An American's Thirty-Year Pursuit of the International Game....

Mario Balotelli's Supposed New House Is Cool And Good
This may not be news to you, but Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli, who is the funnest, is back in England after being bought by Premier League side Liverpool from AC Milan. Since he'll ostensibly be sticking around for a little while, at least, he needs somewhere to live. This is the house he's r...