screamer Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Diving Scorpion Kick Goals Are The Best Goals
Normally, the uniformly terrible music soccer highlight makers afflict upon their videos detracts from the action on display. However, this metal track accompanying a video of Dmytro Ulyanov’s scorpion kick golazo in the Ukrainian first division really gets the feeling of badassery conveyed by Ulyan...
Cute Little Spanish Kids Console Distraught Little Japanese Kids After Wrecking Them At Soccer<em></em>
The baby-faced assassins of Barcelona’s youth team won an international U12 tournament this weekend, beating the tots of Japanese club Omiya Ardija in the final. The Omiya Ardija kids were absolutely destroyed by the loss, which led to this adorable moment of sportsmanship as the winners tried to co...
High School Player Scores Insane Front-Flip Goal, But It Doesn't Count<em></em>
A key part of the majesty of sports is watching the human body confront unique problems and, within the confines of the sport’s rules and the constraints of what is physically possible, solve them on the fly with a feat of athletic genius. This is what makes Columbine high schooler Dylan Prichett-Et...
Arsenal Finally Woke Up And Signed Some Very Good Reinforcements
Arsenal spent most of the summer transfer window swinging and missing at a series of targets. They went at Jamie Vardy, but he stayed with Leicester. They then made a serious effort to dislodge Alexandre Lacazatte from Lyon, but his club tried to extract an increasingly inflated amount of money from...
Chicharito's Hand Is All Kinds Of Messed Up
Javier Hernández is out of Bayer Leverkusen’s season opener this weekend with a hand injury he says—and would you look at that, people seem to actually believe him!—he sustained while falling down a flight of stairs at home. Taking a page from that thin volume known as Good Athlete Tweets, Chicharit...
America's Shameful Youth Development Exposed When 40 Kids Lose To Xabi Alonso And Arturo Vidal
We’ve harped on this point many times before, but sometimes it takes a concise, visual representation of an issue for the masses to internalize it. This video, made during Bayern Munich’s summer U.S. tour, depicting just two men—Xabi Alonso and Arturo Vidal—running roughshod over 40 American kids sh...
Claudio Bravo Died (Er, Joined Manchester City) So That Marc-André ter Stegen Could Live
On behalf of all Barcelona faithful, I’d like to first wish a sincere congratulations to goalkeeper extraordinaire Claudio Bravo and Manchester City for finally sealing their long-awaited union:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Named Best Player In Europe, Wins Creepy-Ass Trophy
Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest soccer-playing cyborg ever made/animated, had a year to remember. First, he dragged Real Madrid to Champions League glory (pulling them through the least daunting field maybe ever, but hey, winning’s winning) in May. For his next feat, he stood on the sidelines with w...
Here Is Your Champions League Group Stage Draw
The Champions League playoff round finished up yesterday—Roma losing on aggregate 4-1 to Porto and Ajax losing 5-2 to Rostov were the most consequential results—which means we are on to the group stage! Here are the groups that were drawn today:...
No, Club Soccer's Greatest Tournament Is Not Being Ruined Right Before Our Eyes<em></em>
If you haven’t been paying attention for the last couple decades, European soccer—the premier stage for the world’s most popular sport, where the clubs keep getting bigger and richer as more and more people around the globe get access to the best leagues and competitions, funneling even more money i...
Should Christian Pulisic Leave Dortmund For The Premier League?
Here’s a tweet:...
U.S. Soccer Is Done With Hope Solo Now That It Doesn't Need Her<em></em>
After the USWNT got bounced from the Olympics by lowly Sweden, Hope Solo was not happy. She voiced her acute displeasure with the loss shortly after the game was over, calling the Swedes “a bunch of cowards” and saying “the better team did not win today.” USWNT veteran Megan Rapinoe recently said sh...
These Two Roma Dudes Damn Near Broke A Couple Porto Players' Legs
Check out the above horror-tackle Roma’s Emerson put on Porto’s Jesús Corona in today’s Champions League playoff, and know that it was only one of two near leg-breakers the Italian team inflicted on their opponents....
Naturally Gifted Striker Sets Up Amazing Goal
Thanks to some poor camera work, the video above doesn’t totally encapsulate the flat-out non-human feat of athleticism that created Thamesmead Town’s crazy-looking goal in the F.A. Cup....
Neymar Flipped His Shit On A Heckling Fan Right After Winning Olympic Gold
Brazil has a complex, often combative relationship with its national soccer team. Winning their first Olympic gold medal, as they did on Saturday, to some extent cooled the beef, but obviously not entirely. So this video of an irate Neymar shouting at a fan on the pitch immediately following Brazil’...
Edinson Cavani Put Together A Shitty Performance For The Ages This Weekend<em></em>
To a sympathetic soul trying to surmise a specific and, more importantly, potentially reversible cause for Edinson Cavani’s rapid descent from Top Five Pure Striker to Fernando Torres 2.0, the most coherent case would go something like this: upon joining Paris Saint-Germain, poor Cavani was shunted ...
![LA Galaxy Players Hit Pigeon With Ball During Warmups [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lrpgx7dj6dxju2rxx38o.jpg)
LA Galaxy Players Hit Pigeon With Ball During Warmups [Update]
A routine warmup by LA Galaxy turned into an act of bird violence before the club’s match against NYCFC Saturday....
Brazil Are Ready To Regain Some Of Their Soccer Dignity In Gold Medal Game
Maybe you, like me, put on Brazil’s first two Olympic soccer matches in the background, halfway monitoring the excitement in the announcers’ voices so as to switch browser windows in time to see one of the presumed dozen or so goals this super-talented team would put past their group stage opponents...
Sweden's Women's Soccer Team Beats Brazil On Penalties To Reach Gold Medal Game
Immediately following the USWNT’s humbling ouster from the Olympics at the hands of a tough-defending Sweden team, salty hater Hope Solo said the Swedes “played like cowards” and that she didn’t “think they’re going to make it far in the tournament.” Add prognostication to the things Solo probably s...
Masked Idiot On The Field Attacks Goalkeeper
It’s always a little strange seeing how calmly soccer players react to Idiots On The Field. Even with some rando hopping onto the pitch and sprinting straight for them, most guys greet the accosting fan with an unnerving placidity. Let’s hope this crazy kid in Sweden, who attacked a goalkeeper in a ...