screamer Page 86 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yaya Touré And Pep Guardiola Have No Choice But To Play Nice
It’s funny, seeing Yaya Touré and Pep Guardiola say nice things about each other through the media, when it’s pretty clear that that the two probably don’t particularly like each other in the slightest....
The Premier League Kind Of Sucks Right Now And It's Awesome
It would not be an overstatement to call this Premier League season the most anticipated one in years. Coming off the collective disaster on the part of all the league’s biggest clubs last season that allowed something that three years ago you probably would’ve called Lysester City run away with the...
Zlatan Scores, Makes World Reconsider Hatred Of Manchester United In EPL Debut<em></em>
Zlatan Ibrahimović has never once let us down, so there was no question that he would score in his Premier League debut with Manchester United against Bournemouth today; the only question was how. Volley from 40 yards out? Bender from a corner? Hypnosis? If you had your money on “exploiting a near-i...
Heh, Look At This Striker Trick The Shit Out Of This Keeper
And the award for “The guy who feels like the biggest dummy in all of the Netherlands right now” goes to Fortuna Sittard’s Leon ter Wielen. No, you don’t get a speech....
After Nearly Two Whole Months Away, Lionel Messi Comes Out Of International Retirement
It seems like so long ago, when we thought we’d said our final goodbye to Lionel Messi’s international career. Try to think back to those times: Messi, still then a brunette, had just suffered another heartbreaking loss with Argentina when they lost on penalties in that year’s Copa América, England ...
Sweden Knock The USWNT Out Of The Olympics On Penalties
After a strangely stilted, disjointed performance, the USWNT has been kicked out of a major international tournament before the semifinal stage for the first time ever. Sweden were good, the U.S. were pretty bad, and the refereeing was worse....
Tottenham Manager's Feelings Toward Players After Last Season's Collapse: "I Wanted To Kill All Of Them"
When we last heard from Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino at the end of last season, he could barely contain his rage following Spurs’ embarrassing defeat to Newcastle, which capped what was almost a perfect season with yet another humiliating St. Totteringham’s Day. He has not forgotten that da...
Messi A Fool
Behold Lionel Messi’s perfect overhead-kick assist from today’s friendly against Sampdoria in all its glory:...
José Mourinho And Manchester United Are Really Feeling Themselves After The Pogba Deal
Yes, Manchester United won a huge, potentially era-defining victory when they convinced Paul Pogba to join them this summer. It makes sense that everyone at the club would be ecstatic about it. What is less necessary is the way the club, and shit-talk lover José Mourinho himself, appear to be using ...
Paul Pogba's Move To Manchester United Is All About The Money
In the end, the process was simpler than many imagined. Any serious follower of the game has predicted for years that, when Paul Pogba—absurdly precocious and ludicrously talented Juventus midfielder—was finally convinced that he’d outgrown the Bianconeri and Serie A and decided to make the leap fro...
Bad Soccer Man Smacks The Piss Out Of A Referee
Our latest example of Bad Soccer Manning comes courtesy of Daniel Pedrosa in Guatemala’s third division. The player didn’t like seeing the referee’s red card after Pedrosa appeared to bump into him, decided that the ref didn’t deserve to be able to see out of his left eye, and sent his forehead and ...
The Paul Pogba Transfer Is Finally Happening
For at least a month, it has been clear that Juventus star Paul Pogba would be transferring to Manchester United, with the only question being how much money it would take. But while Pogba spent his post-Euro summer dicking around, the rumor mill went into overdrive: that Pogba would stay, that Real...
Scottish Club's Keeper Swings And Misses, Leading To Really Dumb Own Goal
Here is Aberdeen’s Joe Lewis, re-enacting that embarrassing time in elementary school when the kickball pitcher served you up a duck just waiting to be crushed, but you tried so hard to kill it that you whiffed. Unfortunately for Lewis, he did it in a decisive Europa League qualifying match, meaning...
French Midfielder Loses A Chunk Of His Ear In Debut With New Club<em></em>
Jeremy Menez left AC Milan for Bordeaux two days ago with two ears. He left his Bordeaux debut with one-and-a-half....
So It Looks Like Barcelona Will Be Pretty Good This Season
Yes, it’s just a friendly against Premier League champions (still insane to say that) Leicester City. But despite playing only three players from what will be Barcelona’s best line-up when the season kicks off for real, the Spanish squad is showing that they are in fact still incredible. In case the...
Fan Leaps Down Into Tunnel To Get A Moment With Messi; Is Promptly Sacked By Security
It’s not often that Lionel Messi finds himself in Dublin, Ireland wowing fans with his soccer artistry. Wanting to make the occasion—a Barcelona-Celtic friendly held last weekend—as special as possible, one fan decided to throw caution to the wind and hopped down out of the stands and into the stadi...
Kick In The Face Sparks Brawl Between U.S., Bahrain Youth Teams
The United States U19 men’s national team lost to Bahrain today, 3-1, crashing out of the COTIF tournament in Spain despite defeating the hosts only a few nights earlier. Towards the end of the game, with the U.S. already deeply frustrated at being down to the tiny gulf nation, a Bahraini player har...
Women's Youth Soccer Championship Featured Terrible Pitch, Even Worse Miss
Yesterday, France and Spain met in the Women’s U-19 Euro final. Torrential rain before and during the match—and the baffling decision not to cancel play on a count of the pitch being a swamp—meant there was always the threat of something truly zany and/or horrifying happening. That threat was realiz...
How Gonzalo Higuaín Became Public Enemy No. 1 In Naples<em></em>
Gonzalo Higuaín’s transfer from Napoli could have ended happily for both parties. While Napoli is right to feel a bit miffed after losing their best player to Juventus, the one team who finished above them in Serie A last season, receiving the third-highest transfer fee in history for a 28-year-old ...
Report: Four Killed In Copa Libertadores Victory Celebrations In Colombia
Atletico Nacional won the Copa Libertadores last night over Ecuadorian side Independiente del Valle. The title is Nacional’s second continental championship, and their first in the post-Pablo Escobar era. Fans are, of course, celebrating their team’s title vigorously. Here’s a look at the in-stadium...