screamer Page 90 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cristiano Ronaldo, The Cheekiest Bastard, Is Doing All He Can To Rescue Portugal
This. Goal. Is. Disgusting. Microphone-chucker Cristiano Ronaldo, desperate to deliver Portugal from the group stage of the Euros, kicked in this stupid-good one-time backheel to bring his team back level against Hungary....

A Good Shitkicking Is What U.S. Soccer Needed
There are two ways to absorb the U.S.’s 4-0 pantsing at the hands of an overwhelmingly superior Argentina side. The first is fatalist, and is espoused by ESPN’s Doug McIntyre. It holds that this drubbing was so utter and so complete that there’s nothing constructive to take from the loss, no insight...

Fed-Up Ronaldo Responds To Reporter's Question By Chucking Microphone Into Lake
So ... does this mean Cristiano Ronaldo is in fact ready for today’s big game?...

World's Best Soccer Players Offer Their Takes On USMNT
The USMNT took their swing at Argentina and got taken apart like an insect in the hands of a cruel child. I don’t have any takes other than that the U.S. needed to let Christian Pulisic cook earlier and that three-quarters of FS1's broadcast crew picking them to win was absurd....
![Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/x52qls9dnrwuf9oepl5q.jpg)
Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]
Fox cameras didn’t show this enterprising Idiot On The Field, who clearly regards Messi as some sort of soccer god. Given his free kick shortly before, this is at least up for discussion, and our man here bowed down, took a selfie, and had plenty of time with Messi....

Lionel Messi Puts U.S. In The Trash With Incredible Free Kick
The USMNT is currently floundering against the mighty Argentines, who scored an easy dinker after the U.S. defense capitulated en masse, then followed it up with this gorgeous Messi screamer past a flapping Brad Guzan....

Croatia's Insane, Late Winner Turned The Euro 2016 Bracket Inside-Out
Until the 87th minute of this afternoon’s match against Spain, the biggest news Croatia had made at Euro 2016 was when fans threw a bunch of explosives and flares onto the pitch during a game against the Czech Republic. Croatian fans were reportedly planning another attack during the 30th minute tod...

Northern Ireland Fans Had A Great Time Despite Getting Stomped By Germany
Above, you can see a veritable sea of Northern Ireland fans in the Parc des Princes for their country’s game against Germany earlier today. Even though their team went down a goal early and were completely dominated, the fans in green nevertheless had a great time singing along with the “Will Grigg’...

With Gábor Király's Official Sweatpants, You Too Can Dress Like A Soccer Dad
If you, like us, have found yourself enchanted by the look of Hungary keeper and sartorial rebel Gábor Király, you are in luck. Király actually has his own line of goalie gear that he offers on his online shop, where you can buy a pair of his trademark sweatpants:...

Gareth Bale Is Owning Euro 2016
There are certainly bigger and better teams in Euro 2016 than Wales, a tiny country of just over 3 million people whose national team is making its first appearance in a major tournament since the 1958 World Cup. And coming into the event, there were surely more prominent and readymade story lines a...

Swiss Player On Team's Easily Ripped Shirts: "I Hope Puma Does Not Produce Condoms"
Puma, the producer of a skintight product worn during physical activity to protect the wearer from the hazardous aspects of said activity without inhibiting performance or pleasure, was embarrassed this weekend when the shirts they made for the Swiss national team repeatedly tore in the heat of the ...


Bring On Argentina
Last night, the United States Men’s National Team took down Ecuador to book a trip to the semifinals of the Copa America. They’ve made it further than Brazil, Uruguay, and one of Mexico/Chile will, and for a team that struggled to score legit goals for most of 2016, a noble loss in the semis is a mo...

Holy Shit, The USMNT Is In The Copa América Semifinals!
When we learned that the USMNT would be playing Ecuador—a team whose relatively middling reputation on the international scene belies their legitimate talent—for the right to compete in the Copa América semis, we were hopeful about the U.S.’s chances to progress but also a little worried about the s...

Wales Fan Feels A Lot Of Feelings
Knowing that Wales just lost 2-1 to England thanks to a stoppage-time goal from Daniel Sturridge, you might assume that the cameras spotted this emotional Wales fan right after the killing blow was made. ...

England Snatch Win Against Wales With Daniel Sturridge Stoppage Time Goal
You can’t say it wasn’t deserved. Late on in a England-Wales match that was somehow still tied at one goal apiece despite the Three Lions creating more and better chances, England got the winner thanks to a brilliant Dele Alli flick and some nifty Daniel Sturridge footwork before he fired the ball i...

Gareth Bale Puts Wales Ahead Of England With 40-Yard Free Kick
England have dominated Wales in their Euro matchup, but find themselves behind at halftime thanks to this long-range bomb from Gareth Bale. It wasn’t a Robert Green situation, but Joe Hart really should’ve been able to hold onto that one. ...

Nice Russian Men Bring A Message Of Love To France—But Not In The Gay Way
Through either the power of ABBA or the threat of their team’s expulsion, some Russian fans have taken to heart the need for them to stop kicking the shit out of rival supporters, and instead commune with their soccer-loving brethren. Take the above picture Sky reporter Paul Kelso snapped with some ...

This Hilarious, Imaginative Icelandic Twitter Account Is The One To Follow For The Euros
“And now the unfortunate Portuguese will feel the mighty thunder of Þór’s Icelandic warriors” read the first tweet from Iceland’s English-language magazine, the Reykjavík Grapevine, during their coverage of their teeny tiny nation’s Euro 2016 match against Portugal. It didn’t take long after that fo...
