seattle Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Juan Uribe Grabs Fan's Weenie
When you’re hungry, you’re hungry. The food at Seattle’s ballpark looks pretty damn good, and Juan Uribe couldn’t help himself but reach for this dude’s dog....
Padres Blow 10-Run Lead, Give Up Nine Runs With Two Outs, Are A Complete Embarrassment
As the 2001 Seattle Mariners know, no lead is safe. The 2016 version of that team revisited that lesson last night against the Padres, but ended up on the better side of it with the biggest comeback of the MLB season....
Padres Catcher Christian Bethancourt Made The Most Of His Chance To Pitch
The Padres got walloped 16-4 this afternoon by the Mariners, and they lost the first two games of a weird home and away pair of two-game series on opposite ends of the (American) Pacific coast by an aggregate score of 25-7. It only took Seattle five innings to accrue all their runs, which ushered in...
World War II Veteran Has Decent Off-Speed Stuff
World War II veteran Burke Waldron tossed the first pitch for the Seattle Mariners for Monday’s Memorial Day game. Hitters beware: this guy has a mean breaking ball....
Samantha Bee Suplexes Trolls Who Harassed Seattle Councilwomen For Rejecting New NBA Arena
The Seattle City Council voted 5-4 against selling a block of the city that would have made it possible for hedge fund manager Chris Hansen to move forward with plans for a new NBA arena. The majority that voted against the deal were all women. They got hate mail....
Russell Wilson's Charming UW Commencement Address Was The Anti-Michael Jordan Hall Of Fame Speech
Look how chill that dude is right there. Twenty-seven years old, a Super Bowl winner, wearing a hoodie to a graduation ceremony at which he gave a funny, inspirational, self-effacing speech that also settled some scores with an old coach. This weekend in Madison, Russell Wilson—Seahawks QB, former W...
Ricardo Lockette Will Retire After Serious Neck Injury
This is one of the reasons athletes should never be begrudged for trying to get as much money as they can while they still can: their lifetime earning power can vaporize in a moment, at any moment. Seahawks wide receiver and special teamer Ricardo Lockette will announce his retirement this afternoon...
Here's Some Baseball Knowledge To Get You Thinking About The Relentless Approach Of Death
Hello, fellow millennial baseball fans, I have come to make you sad....
Nelson Cruz Sent This Pitch To Goddamn Pluto
The Seattle Mariners wrapped up a sweep of the Oakland A’s today in the Bay Area, and the club is now first in the AL West (the A’s are weirdly twice as good on the road than at home this season, perhaps owing to the fact that their stadium is a cavernous wind trap without adequate plumbing.) Seattl...
Seattle's Efforts To Bring Back An NBA Team Just Took A Significant Hit
Seattle was on the cusp of inheriting the Sacramento Kings three years ago, until a last-ditch arena effort in California’s capital kept the team rooted. The city and local billionaire Chris Hansen have been trying to work to bring an NBA team back to the city ever since then, but the Seattle city c...
Nearly Perfect: An Unremarkable November Finals Preview
By November 26, 1995, everybody already knew the 10-1 Chicago Bulls were very good; nobody knew they were the best team in NBA history just yet. Michael Jordan was in his first full season back from retirement, the Bulls had gone down meekly in the playoffs to the young Orlando Magic the season befo...
Korean Announcers Lose Their Shit Over Dae-Ho Lee's 10th-Inning Walk-Off Dinger
The Mariners stopped their five-game skid in the most emphatic way possible: by walking off the winners after a big ole’ dinger in the tenth inning against a division rival. You can watch the official MLB version of Dae-Ho Lee’s home run against the Rangers if you want, but we recommend these Korean...
The Mariners Just Can't Stop Slappin' Dingers
The Mariners opened the season with a rather odd little loss to the Texas Rangers. Since then, however, they have managed to humiliate a presumptive AL playoff team to the tune of 19 runs in their next two games....
Felix Hernandez's Loss Was One Of The Weirdest In Baseball History
Felix Hernandez is one of the best pitchers working today, and until this afternoon, he’d never lost an Opening Day start. Thanks in part to the King’s dominance over the past half-decade, the Mariners had a chance to become the first team since the 19th century to win ten straight openers. But the ...
Richard Sherman Criticizes Roger Goodell's New Rule Proposals, Says He's "Just A Suit"
Richard Sherman has never been shy about expressing his thoughts, and what he says is almost always legitimately interesting, whether it’s on Black Lives Matter, the hypocrisy of Ballghazi, the scam of the NCAA, Roger Goodell’s friendliness with Robert Kraft, or Labor Day....
Russell Wilson: She Said Yes (To Eventually Fucking)
Seahawks quarterback and outspoken non-fucker Russell Wilson is one step closer to fucking. He posted a video showing an ecstatic Ciara reacting to his proposal. Congratulations to the couple that will someday have sex....
Ricardo Lockette Explains How He Could Have Died After Blindside Hit
Seahawks receiver Ricardo Lockette said that he was close to death when Cowboys safety Jeff Heath knocked him out with a blindside hit last November. Last Friday, Lockette—who was still wearing a neck brace—visited Redmond Fire Station 11 and thanked the paramedics who properly treated his injury. H...
Kam Chancellor Tries To Buy A Gym, Gets Cops Called On Him
Seahawks safety Kam Chancellor had a friendly chat with police officers last night, after they were called by gym employees to investigate some men they believed were trying to gain entry to the closed building. But Kam just wanted to buy the place....
Clint Dempsey Bends Long-Range Free Kick Perfectly Into The Top Corner
Clint Dempsey opened the scoring in Tuesday’s CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinal between the Seattle Sounders and Mexico’s Club América with this prodigious free kick:...
China Has Passed MLS As The Place For Old Stars To Cash Out
Depending on which reports you believe, Chinese Super League clubs are in the tank for Oscar, Arda Turan, Marouane Fellaini, Juan Mata, Lionel Messi, Wayne Rooney, and Ronaldo. As the league’s recent hiring spree shows, they have more money than they know what to do with, and when they wave the kind...