seattle Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Our Simple Guide To MLB Realignment, Or: Sorry Seattle, You're Losing Another Team
Do it geographically. Had to split up that raging Orioles/Nationals rivalry, but this is the easiest way to go. Oh, and I had to move the Mariners to Oklahoma City. I hope that doesn't bother anyone....

Watch Eric Hassli's MLS Goal Of The Year
One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick rec...

Guess Which City Is Having A Pearl Jam Bobblehead Night?
The Seattle Mariners are hosting the Rays on Friday evening, and because they already had a bobblehead night for Felix Hernandez, they have no choice but to start honoring local grunge rockers. Friday night is Mike McCready night at Safeco Field, which also happens to overlap with a benefit night fo...

Seattle Goes Streaking
Not one, not two, not three, but four enterprising and besotted Seattleites decided to run on the field in a single game this weekend. One even took the streaking part literally. (Warning: video provides copious-yet-blurry shots of bare man-ass, and the towel does eventually fall off.) And once ag...

Here's A Photo Of The Seattle Mariners Streaker In The Loving Grasp Of Three Committed Security Guards
On a night when Chone Figgins lowered the price of Widmer beer at one Seattle bar to $1.97 (0-5 in the Mariners win over the Yankees), a streaker was the third of four fans to run on the field. He apparently took a shine to Derek Jeter in the eighth inning but the shortstop declined his advances. F...

Chone Figgins's Low Batting Average Helps People Get Drunker, Cheaper
Seattle Mariners third baseman Chone Figgins is currently batting .202 on the season. Hitting a notable .087 this past week, manager Eric Wedge sat Chone on the bench for last night's game against the Yankees. There's chatter of moving him down in the lineup; like No. 9 down....

Seattle-Area Cheerleaders Up To Their Old Diapered, Hot-Dog-Slappin' Tricks
Scene: waning springtime in the Seattle metro area. Local cheerleaders, presumably led by Parker Posey, now up to no good with the school year coming to an end, their youth and beauty fading. Their tools: diapers and hot dogs....

Shawn Kemp Refuses Courtside Seats To Oklahoma City Game; Remains Seattle's Hero
Shawn Kemp has been retired from professional basketball for about eight years now, but after eight seasons with the SuperSonics, he still lives in the Seattle area and makes time for a weekly appearance on local sports radio with the "Ian Furness Show" on KJR. In yesterday's show, Kemp shared tha...

Time For Yet Another Team To Roll The Dice With Milton Bradley
Oh god, that's awful, I'm sorry. Let's try this again....

Here's Your MLB Play Of The Season As Ryan Raburn Assists A Home Run
That's Detroit's Ryan Raburn with the Cansecoesque slap assist on Miguel Olivo's fly ball to left. Ryan, you have joined the immortals. [MLB.com]...

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....

<em>SonicsGate</em> Creator Just Wants An Unmolested Trip To Costco, A Basketball Team In Seattle
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Seattle still wants an NBA team, Mr. Schultz....

Here's Video Of Critics Of The Guy Who Sold The Sonics To Oklahoma City Getting Thrown Out Of A Costco
Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz went to the Costco in Issaquah, Wash. yesterday to autograph copies of his book "Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life Without Losing Its Soul." Fans of the late Seattle SuperSonics found this ironic, since they consider letting their beloved basketball team leave ...

This Texas Rangers Broadcast Clip Will Someday Be Evidence In Divorce Proceedings
Fun stuff from tonight's Rangers-Mariners telecast—good, old-fashioned Texan chivalry....

TJ Duckett, Out Of Football For Two Years, Will Shave Beard For Charity
T.J. Duckett, known best to you as the guy who'd replace an easily-winded Warrick Dunn in Madden '05, told the Huffington Post, in an exclusive interview, that he will shave his beard of two years and donate the proceeds to charity....

The Reiki Healing Of Seattle Slew
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Charlie Pierce walks into a barn and encounters the first undefeated Triple Crown winner engaged in a New Age relaxation technique — with a...

No, Seahawks Fans Didn't Cause An Earthquake
That graphic shows a seismograph reading taken at the exact moment Marshawn Lynch scampered 67 yards to break Saturday's game open. It was an awe-inspiring run, but it didn't exactly make the earth move....

Watch Marshawn Lynch Geaux To The House
The Seahawks salted away the Saints with the play you see here. Sorry, Marcus Allen. You can have your 74 yards and Facenda voiceover. Marshawn Lynch just gave us the most "holy shit" run in postseason history....

Your Medium-Sized Seahawks-Saints Open Thread
If the Seahawks win this game, there is no god. Unless –- wait — there is a god and he is prone to merciful acts such as that time when the Seahawks made the playoffs with a losing record....