sec Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lonely Jose Canseco Would Like You To Call Him To Talk About His Life
310 862 6309 I am ready for you call me now let's talk.you will be charged a small fee half of it will go to a charity Remember the "charity" is most likely "The Lonely Jose Canseco Fund." [Twitter]...
Sad Pistons Can't Even Put Together A Real Cheering Section
How bad are things in the Motor City if the Pistons can only get 11 people to show up to tryout for their new cheering section that's giving away free tickets? Somehow this is Tracy McGrady's fault. [The Detroit News]...
My Conversation With Milton Ahlerich, VP Of NFL Security
Hi, everybody. Just got off the phone with Mr. Ahlerich — nice gentleman, serious gentleman — and we discussed if I'd be willing to cooperate with the NFL's thorough investigation into Brett Favre's sexting habits....
So It Begins: NFL Security Sends Us An E-Mail About Brett Favre And Jenn Sterger
Now Daulerio has his hands full with NFL security....
Video: We Ask Jose Canseco About His Missing Chandeliers
Earlier today, I scuttled over to 8th and Broadway in Manhattan. The goal: ask Jose Canseco if he'd gotten his "chandeleers" back. Was it a success? Yes. Yes, it was. As much as anything involving Jose Canseco can be called a success....
Here's Ted Williams Talking About His Final Home Run
Updike, Schmupdike. Here's The Splendid Splinter in his own words, talking about his last home run, how he knew it was going to happen, and depriving the fans of the hat tip they wanted oh so much....
Will Someone Please Help Jose Canseco Get His Decorative Light Fixtures Back?
There is so much compressed sadness in this one tweet that I think we can now upgrade Jose Canseco from professional sad sack to existential hero. I mean, at this point would you be at all surprised if his next tweet were, "woke up from uneazy dreams now ima bug ,help"?...
Naked Photo Of Someone Who's Probably Not Nick Saban's Daughter Is About To Go Viral
It started off with an email from a man named David: "Any interest in Nick Saban's daughter, who is a sophomore at Alabama, topless?" And then some other dude sent us the pic rapidly circulating around SEC cell phones. (NSFW)...
Tennessee Football Team Doesn't Know How To Properly Bathe
A staph infection outbreak among several Tennessee football players left coach Derek Dooley with no option other than to conduct a team-wide clinic on proper showering technique and hygiene. Work up a rich lather after the jump....
Jackie Robinson Statue At Nationals Park Busted Up By Tacklers
Brian Birrer made a statue of Jackie Robinson and took it to D.C. for the Nationals' Jackie Robinson Day. Several thousand dollars of damage occurred when it was tackled and now the Nationals are giving him the run around....
Watch Tyson Gay Become The Fastest Person In The World
Tyson Gay beat Usain Bolt today in the 100m at the IAAF Track and Field Diamond League in Stockholm. It was Bolt's first loss in two years. I'm sure the headlines for this will be extremely tasteful....
Can Statistics Prove Once And For All Who Used Steroids?
Two labor economists released a study showing an increase in power numbers by Canseco's teammates which abruptly stopped when MLB instituted random steroid testing. Unfortunately, it also predicts another cycle of "I Guess We Have To Listen To Jose Canseco" talk. [Slate]...
Duke Basketball Fan Feels Persecuted, Part 7,938
"i've noticed that espn opens each sportscenter with championship snippets of the yankees, saints, lakers, alabama football, even uconn women's bball. hmmm. who's missing and is it intentional?" That's followed by the emoticon for "whining Little Lord Fauntleroy." [Duke Basketball Report]...
Pacers Screw Indianapolis, Don't Even Kiss Them Afterward
This might be the worst of all taxpayer-funded bailouts: the city of Indianapolis will pay at least $33 million to keep the Pacers for the next three years — not even with a new arena, but just to maintain the status quo....
Down Goes Probert
What, too soon? My bad, but make no mistake about this fact: It's quintessentially bad-ass to have your coffin transported via motorcycle sidecar to your funeral, which is exactly what was done for the late Bob Probert yesterday....
Here's A List Of Things That May Or May Not Happen Tomorrow
Sources tells us that all of the following things are true, unless they turn out not to be:...
This Is Pete Rose's Corked Bat
You’re looking at an X-ray of a Mizuno PR4192 bat, commissioned by Pete Rose specifically for his 1985 chase of baseball’s all-time hits record. Inside, clear as day, is a piece of foreign material, about 6 inches long, and the diameter of a nickel. This is the story of that bat....
Roger Clemens Is The One Guy Jose Canseco Won't Rat Out
Jose Canseco told a grand jury that he never saw Roger Clemens use steroids....and he sees everything. I forget if Canseco is the "lone honest human" or "embarrassment to humanity" this month. [Daily News]...
A Salute To Jose Canseco's Many Failures (Gallery)
Yesterday was the 17th anniversary of Jose Canseco taking a Carlos Martinez fly ball off the noggin for a home run. It was also the first anniversary of his MMA debut. Both are indelible moments in failuredom. Let's examine some Kanseco Klassics....
College Baseball's Going To Fool Around With A Shot Clock
Today the SEC will begin using a scoreboard-mounted clock in an effort to speed up bases-empty situations during its conference tournament. Oh, please let it go off with a thunderous foghorn....