shit Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Plea For TV Networks To Show People Running Onto The Field
Big thank you to Drew for letting me guest this Funbag. Normally my day is filled with exploiting my elderly father for money (see: Shit My Dad Says), so it was a welcome diversion. I also used to write for the TV show of the same name, until America was like, "GOD FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT TAKE IT OFF...
Aw Jeez, The Lights Are Out At Candlestick Again, A Fan Is On The Field, And Big Ben Is Providing Commentary
The lights went back out in Candlestick with 12:13 left in the first half, leading a fan to conclude the time was ripe to run onto the field. Ben Roethlisberger, meanwhile, lamented James Harrison's suspension—while Harrison himself took credit for the outage....
When The Lights Go Down In The City
The start of Monday Night Football is currently delayed due to this transformer explosion that blacked out Candlestick Park and presumably led to several copped feels. [ESPN]...
Your Rolando McClain Perp Walk Grin Photoshop Roundup
When we put out the call last week for photoshops of the fantastic perp walk photo of Oakland Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain (above), we knew you'd be up to the challenge; we knew you'd make us laugh like all hell at the sheer absurdity of it all. And you didn't disappoint. In all honesty, I w...
Photoshop Contest: Raiders LB Rolando McClain's Fantastic Perp Walk Grin
When we first saw the above photo of Rolando McClain after he was arrested yesterday in his hometown of Decatur, Ala., on misdemeanor gun and assault charges, we kind of thought it had already been doctored. I mean, just look at that facial expression, at that playful tilt of the head. But the phot...
HOLY SHIT MONSTER CARROT-EATING CRICKET
Say hello to the giant weta, now the world’s largest known insect. I want to die now. I don’t want to live on a planet where encountering something like this is possible. HOW IN THE FUCK IS MR. HAND MODEL SO GODDAMN CALM?! HE IS HOLDING A MONSTER. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Via Gizmodo; Photo: Mark Mof...
Legality Vs. Morality In The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
HOLY SHIT SWEDISH ELK 'THREESOME'
Aggressive Women's Magazine Photographer: Elks! Today we're doing "Swede Shocked By Elk 'Threesome'." So let's get started while we still have good light. Okay, you there, with the knobby knees, get inside that tall one. Higher. HIGHER. ATTACK THOSE HAUNCHES. Great. Now, you in the middle, act a lit...
Presenting Your Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter Photoshop Roundup
The above photo is of Ryan Howard, and it was taken at a suburban Philly Whole Foods on the day after the Phillies were knocked out of the National League playoffs by the Cardinals. The game ended with Howard recording the final out and tearing his Achilles in the process, which explains the scoote...
This Photo Of Dominick Cruz's Surgically Repaired Hand Is HOLY SHIT LOOK HOW BIG AND GROSS IT LOOKS
Cruz, UFC's bantamweight champion, broke his right hand en route to earning a unanimous decision against Demetrious Johnson on Oct. 1. He finally got around to having surgery on the hand this week, and our stomachs are all grateful to him for posting what it looked like the following day on Twitter...
Photoshop Contest: Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter
The internet has been passing around this photo of Ryan Howard for several days, or at least since it was discovered after being tweeted by a fan who snapped it at a suburban Philly Whole Foods. It is at once sadly and hilariously emblematic of the sudden conclusion to the Phillies' season....
If You Ever Get Chased By A Wild Turkey, Run (And Also Keep The Camera Rolling Like This Brave Lady)
Duffy Kelly, a producer for News10 in Sacramento, ventured out into the suburban wild recently to see if—as a few of her neighbors had claimed—her local wild-ish turkeys attack. She didn't realize that she was walking straight into a horror film (one in which the villain is a mostly harmless game ...
HOLY SHIT TOM BRADY CUT HIS HAIR
What does that face tell you? He looks guilty to me. Is this some form of self-inflicted punishment? Or is he punishing us? Did Gisele make him do it? Did Belichick make him do it? Did Jesus get jealous and make him do it? Did the Bills make him do it? Did ESPN The Magazine make him do it? Will the ...
Presenting Your Larry Merchant Photoshop Winner, Runner-Up And Honorable Mentions
Boxing stumblentator Larry Merchant took to the ring after Floyd Mayweather got headbutted, dropped the headbuttist with two quick blasts of questionable fury and broiled in the stew of booing judgement. There was no question that something magical was about to occur....
Photoshop Contest: Larry Merchant On The Edge
Larry Merchant had a little word war with Floyd Mayweather after Mayweather's controversial victory over Victor Ortiz last night. But when he turned to the camera, he gave an expression for the ages. For all ages. For many situations....
Today In Unfortunate Headline Apostrophe Placement
From the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette comes this doubletake-inducing headline on the start of football season. I'm sure it looked all nice and informal and innocuous in the sterile InDesign window, but when it actually gets put in a paper? A 48-point poop joke....
HOLY SHIT MIDWEST MULLET PERM
We all owe our gratitude to tipster Matt, who spotted this "merm" (mullet + perm, he suggests) at the Packers' training camp recently. Matt called it "your very own Davy [Crockett] hat." I'd point out that it would also be perfect under a skiing or hockey helmet: there's no risk of helmet hair, beca...
HOLY SHIT GIANT RAT IMPALED ON PITCHFORK
Let's stop worrying about earthquakes and hurricanes (and, for the east coast, natural disaster inferiority) and devote some time to the problem of the giant, possibly mutant rats living underneath our buildings....
Photoshop Contest: That Tiger Woods Photobomb Guy
We can all see That Guy from that Tiger Woods shot today becoming a meme, so we figured we ought to get in on the act as quickly as possible — and with your help. Go right ahead and fire away in the comments with your best Photoshop mash-ups of this screen grab. Best one wins a prize. Now get to it...
Mark Cuban Says Dallas Punked The Shit Out Of Miami Fans, And He Says It Repeatedly
Yes, Mark Cuban dropped the s-bomb on SportsCenter. But he'd been practicing. This is what happens when a guy doesn't get to talk to the media for a week....