soccer Page 118 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The USMNT Are Who We Thought They Were
The United States Men’s National Team beat the pants off of Guatemala 4-0 tonight, avoiding the disaster scenario and setting themselves up to advance to the final round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying. But while the victory was comprehensive, there were plenty of worrying signs for the USMNT’s fut...
The USMNT Better Goddamn Beat Guatemala
The United States Men’s National Team is in danger of failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. If it happened, it would be the first time the USMNT missed the world’s greatest sporting event since Mexico in 1986. If they lose to Guatemala Tuesday night, they’ll need an awful lot of help from Saint...
Arda Turan Matter-Of-Factly Burns Arsenal
After sitting out the first half of the season because of Barcelona’s transfer ban, Arda Turan is finally settling in at the Camp Nou. He spoke with Catalan paper Diari Ara recently for a wide-ranging interview, touching upon everything from his Barcelona experience to the current political situatio...
I Want Some Of Those Sweet FIFA Bribes
It seems like everyone in FIFA’s orbit gets a bribe. Just today, it was revealed that the former president of Honduras took bribes while working for FIFA’s television and marketing committee, whatever the hell that is. There’s bribe money everywhere! And you know who is getting none of it? Me....
A First-Person View Of A Cristiano Ronaldo Penalty Kick To The Face
Sarah Arcand had damned good seats for last week’s Real Madrid 4-0 win over Sevilla. A little too good. When Ronaldo sailed a penalty kick high, she managed to get her camera out of the way, but not her face....
You Will Never Be As Good At Anything As Barcelona's 12-Year-Olds Are At Soccer
While the rest of the soccer world was getting injured on the international break, the little tots of Barcelona’s Alevin A squared off with their counterparts in Madrid for an incredibly entertaining Mini-Clasico. The Blaugranitas won 2-0 in the final of the Mediterranean International Cup, and prod...
Jurgen Klinsmann Blew It
The United States Men’s National Team will probably qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Yes, they are trailing Guatemala and Trinidad and Tobago in the Group C standings. Yes, they have played conservatively without the defensive ability to make that style work. A day after the U.S. got humili...
Hlompho Kekana Scores From Past Midfield To Give South Africa Lead
Today’s Africa Cup of Nations qualifier between Cameroon and South Africa went berserk early in the second half as Bafana Bafana midfielder Hlompho Kekana took a shot on goal from his own side of the pitch and scored, giving his team a 2-1 lead....
Oh No
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Burkina Faso’s National Team Is Playing For Liberty (And Money)
Burkina Faso hosts Uganda tomorrow at Ouagadougou’s Stade du 4 Août 1983, with qualification for the 2017 Africa Cup of Nations on the line. For members and staff of Les Étalons, though, the match represents more than just the next step in the march toward Gabon....
This Dumb Keeper Is Soccer's New Trickster God
Just look at this idiot. Maritzburg United goalkeeper Glenn Verbauwhede, of the South African Premier Soccer League, has developed an incredibly crazy strategy of baiting referees into giving opponents fouls. First, he lures opposing players into his personal space, then intentionally lunges at thei...
Boo On Sevilla For Not Trying To Stop Messi With This Wacky Free-Kick Defense
With his nearly unlimited array of skills and his penchant for breaking down defenses even when they’re almost single-mindedly set up to stop him, Lionel Messi presents a unique threat to opponents. Unfortunately for his rivals, it’s difficult to dream up some newfangled tactic that could help bottl...
Aleksandar Mitrovic Celebrates With Idiot On The Field After Scoring A Late Equalizer
Newcastle tied up Sunderland late to secure a 1-1 draw. Aleksandar Mitrovic scored the equalizer, and was understandably pumped since it came in the 83rd minute against a rival. Mitrovic ran away from all his buddies to celebrate with this jeans-wearing Geordie....
Report: It's Mourinho Time, Baby!
The best parts of the first half of this very weird Premier League season were most certainly Chelsea melting down and playing like dogpiss and also all the wacky hijinks José Mourinho got himself into. Now, according to El Pais (Sp.), our hero has signed a “pre-contract agreement” with Manchester U...
Oh, That's Gorgeous
Cesc Fàbregas equalized for Chelsea in stoppage time with as perfect a free kick as could be executed in the situation....
Manuel Lanzini Rocket Goal Puts West Ham Up On Chelsea
Chelsea fell behind at home once again this morning, though it’s hard to blame them for this Manuel Lanzini screamer from outside the box. The Blues haven’t much but pride to play for at this point, and strikes like this from the Argentine aren’t helping....
Juve's Loss Ensures England Holds Onto Its Fourth Champions League Spot, For Now
Bayern Munich’s impressive comeback victory against Juventus today had a farther-reaching effect than just sending Bayern into the Champions League quarterfinals: it ensured that England will hold onto its four Champions League spots for at least another year....
FIFA Admits World Cup Bribes, Wants That Money Back From The U.S.
You can say many things about FIFA, but you can never say it doesn’t really like money, or that it doesn’t have enormous fucking balls....
Leicester City Opens Scoring With Shinji Okazaki Overhead Goal
How’s this for sparking the magic that is Leicester City? The Premiership leaders took an early 1-0 lead on Newcastle with this fantastic overhead goal by Shinji Okazaki about which NBC Universo announcers left no doubt: ¡Golazo! (Allowing early goals is specifically not how to beat Leicester City.)...
Angry Soccer Man Tries To Assault Referee, Fails Miserably
Oh man, I love literally every second of this video. The two teams’—Castel San Niccolò and Fortis Arezzo, of Italy’s ninth division—comically retro kits. The mud swamp they’re playing in. Our leading man’s exasperated response to receiving a red card, then his hilarious and awkward and elaborate lit...