soccer Page 119 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: It's Mourinho Time, Baby!
The best parts of the first half of this very weird Premier League season were most certainly Chelsea melting down and playing like dogpiss and also all the wacky hijinks José Mourinho got himself into. Now, according to El Pais (Sp.), our hero has signed a “pre-contract agreement” with Manchester U...
Oh, That's Gorgeous
Cesc Fàbregas equalized for Chelsea in stoppage time with as perfect a free kick as could be executed in the situation....
Manuel Lanzini Rocket Goal Puts West Ham Up On Chelsea
Chelsea fell behind at home once again this morning, though it’s hard to blame them for this Manuel Lanzini screamer from outside the box. The Blues haven’t much but pride to play for at this point, and strikes like this from the Argentine aren’t helping....
Juve's Loss Ensures England Holds Onto Its Fourth Champions League Spot, For Now
Bayern Munich’s impressive comeback victory against Juventus today had a farther-reaching effect than just sending Bayern into the Champions League quarterfinals: it ensured that England will hold onto its four Champions League spots for at least another year....
FIFA Admits World Cup Bribes, Wants That Money Back From The U.S.
You can say many things about FIFA, but you can never say it doesn’t really like money, or that it doesn’t have enormous fucking balls....
Leicester City Opens Scoring With Shinji Okazaki Overhead Goal
How’s this for sparking the magic that is Leicester City? The Premiership leaders took an early 1-0 lead on Newcastle with this fantastic overhead goal by Shinji Okazaki about which NBC Universo announcers left no doubt: ¡Golazo! (Allowing early goals is specifically not how to beat Leicester City.)...
Angry Soccer Man Tries To Assault Referee, Fails Miserably
Oh man, I love literally every second of this video. The two teams’—Castel San Niccolò and Fortis Arezzo, of Italy’s ninth division—comically retro kits. The mud swamp they’re playing in. Our leading man’s exasperated response to receiving a red card, then his hilarious and awkward and elaborate lit...
The Rise Of Romelu Lukaku Is A Joy To Watch
On one hand, it’s a fitting reflection of the topsy-turvy season in England that, heading into the final four of the FA Cup, the competition’s best remaining player isn’t a world-famous, well-decorated superstar for Chelsea or Manchester City or Arsenal, but rather trophy-barren Everton’s 22-year-ol...
Runaway Bull Makes For Very Intimidating Pitch Invader
This rambunctious bovine wanted to join some Australian youths in their soccer game after escaping his nearby paddock. Unfortunately, the kids were very rude and refused to pass him the ball, so he had to retreat back to the forest. ...
Nobody Could Get Into The NYCFC Game At Yankee Stadium Because Of The Yankees' Stupid Ticket Policies
Hey remember how the Yankees changed their ticket policies to no longer accept print-at-home tickets? NYCFC, who also play in Yankee Stadium for some reason, announced Friday that they were planning to stop taking paper tickets too. They have a game today, two days later. In their release, the team ...
The Maddening Futility Of Arsenal, In One Play
Arsenal crashed out of their specialty competition (the FA Cup) this morning after a 2-1 loss to Watford. Since they probably aren’t gonna beat Barcelona by the two goals they need to to take their Champions League tie, and the EPL looks like a more distant prospect every week, the FA Cup was their ...
Let's Watch Some Diego Maradona Highlights For No Good Reason
The other day I went down a YouTube rabbithole trying to find a song to pair with a video to make a meme (don’t ask), and ended up watching Diego Maradona highlights for an hour. I know all about la mano de Dios, his absolute filleting of England during the 1986 World Cup, and of course the absurdit...
Lionel Messi Was On One Yesterday
Lionel Messi scored twice in Barcelona’s 4-0 win over Eibar yesterday, though neither the scoreline nor Messi’s goal tally accurately reflect just how transcendent a show Argentine winger put on. As is so often the case in that inimitable version of Messi domination, it was everything around the sco...
The Skeptics' MLS Season Preview
There are plenty of reasons not to watch MLS. The soccer’s kinda boring, there’s a healthy dose of Soviet-ish central planning to the whole operation, and the league’s marketing is extremely “How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?” If you’re hoping for EPL quality or at least Argentine Second Division quality,...
Cristiano Ronaldo Starts Hat Trick With Pair Of Brilliant Goals
Cristiano Ronaldo shook? Not if today’s appearance against Celta is any sign, as the Real Madrid hero earned a hat trick by the 64th minute after a trio of stunning second-half goals. The first came on a screamer in open play, and the second on a vintage Ronaldo free kick....
The North London Derby Was Great For Leicester City
After losing Francis Coquelin to a red card and down 2-1, Arsenal looked more fraught than they’d ever been during their long, slow settling from Premier League favorites to title outsiders. Three weeks ago, they were two points behind Leicester, with ambitions to upset Barcelona in the Champions Le...
Kevin Nash And Brandi Chastain Will Donate Their Brains To CTE Researchers
Former pro wrestler Kevin Nash and former women’s soccer player Brandi Chastain both announced that they will donate their brains to Boston University’s Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy Center after their deaths. There, the brains will be studied for signs of CTE....
Jürgen Klopp Was Highly Amused By Bayern Munich's Loss
Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp saw his team smash Manchester City 3-0 today, but after the game was more focused on the Bundesliga, where leaders Bayern Munich lost 2-1 at home to Mainz 05. Klopp played for Mainz for a decade and managed them for seven years, and was quite pleased with their takedow...
Julian Büscher's First Professional Goal Is A Long-Range Doozy
DC United just got knocked out of the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF Champions League, 3-1 on aggregate by Mexican side Querétaro. At least their lone goal—scored by German rookie Julian Büscher, in his second ever match for the club—was an absolute beauty, as Buescher smacked in a fishtailing rocket...
Cussing British Guy Soundtracks Mohamed Sanu's Marriage Proposal At The League Cup Final
Bengals wide receiver Mohamed Sanu went to the League Cup final today a single man, and left hitched. A full Wembley Stadium isn’t the most intimate setting for a proposal, but it makes up for that with grandeur and the surprise factor....