soccer Page 239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch This 13-Year-Old Score A Rooneyesque Bicycle Kick Goal
Que golazo by this adolescent from the Civitans Bengals in Arlington, Virginia. I grew up in Arlington playing soccer and not hitting bicycle kicks like this. Note the kids on the other team putting hands to head, utterly demoralized. That's what a chilena will do for you. It's like 20 slam dunks ...

Why Coaches Rarely Show Players How They Really Feel
Your morning roundup for May 24, the day we masturbated in Row 18 on the flight to Denver. Photo of Tottenham's Harry Redknapp's motivational techniques from the Guardian's year in soccer photos. H/t Michael T....

Cash-Filled Envelopes And Other Peculiars From Sepp Blatter's Reelection Campaign
It's hard to keep track of the political gyrations at FIFA these days, especially with president and Swiss money-eel Sepp Blatter running for reelection. Corruption charges have been flying since former FA head and England's 2018 World Cup campaign chairman Lord Triesman told the British Parliament ...

Goal Celebration Goes Horribly Awry With A Commemorative Sliding Kick To The Face
In a match against Sun Hei in the Hong Kong FA Cup about a week ago, a South China player tried to share a goal celebration with his teammate, and instead broke his nose. Yet another reason that everyone should just stick to the Bernie....

Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....

Totally Anonymous Soccer Player Sues Twitter For Saying Ryan Giggs Had An Affair
Some married British soccer player had an affair with a model, and we guessed it was Ryan Giggs. But the media couldn't reveal his name because of a court order. So someone signed up for Twitter and started naming names, including that of Ryan Giggs. But we still don't know for certain that Ryan Gig...

Plane Banner Insults Are Now Played Out In English Soccer
Last Sunday, West Ham played Wigan away in a battle to avoid relegation. Things didn't work out so well for the Hammers. Rival fans from Millwall chose the very moment that Wigan sealed West Ham's fate to fly a plane over the stadium with a mocking banner. Avram Grant, by the way, is the West Ham ma...

Three Stooges Diversion Makes For Soccer's Greatest Set Piece
We're just seeing this now, but it needs to be seen. It's a brilliant piece of misdirection, and if I were on the victimized team, I'd want to kick someone's shins. [via Fark]...

Clemson, Davidson Up The Rain-Delay-Antics Ante With Human Bowling, Wartime Re-Enactment, And Curling
Your morning roundup for May 19, the day Stanley the adult baby entered the nation's political dialogue, and not a moment too soon. Video via College Baseball Daily....

Tubby Messi Impersonator Dribbles Past Old Women, Sheep To Reenact Goal Against Real Madrid
That's how easy it is to get to Wembley, according to this silly video which looks to have been made by Opel and recreates Messi's second goal against Madrid in the first leg of the Champion's League semifinal. There's also a version with crones:...

Rejoice: American Players Are Soccer's New Exploitable Resource
In April, Thomas DiBenedetto, a rich businessman from Boston who somehow emerged from the economic downturn unscathed, bought a controlling interest in AS Roma for around 60 million Euros. Pending approval, he'll be the first foreign majority investor in Serie A. One of his first action items is to ...

Facekicker 2: The Kickening
Standard Liege midfielder Mehdi Carcela is in the hospital with a concussion and facial fractures, after being kicked in the face in the Belgian league playoffs. It was accidental, as most soccer highlights are, but still scary. Which doesn't mean you shouldn't mentally add the "Boom! Headshot!" a...

West Ham Can't Even Keep Its Hooligans Out Of The Team's Year-End Banquet
West Ham United threw itself a little end-of-season awards banquet on Monday night in London (to celebrate, ostensibly, West Ham's relegation after finishing last in the Premier League). Some of the team's fans attended the banquet, which turned out to be a very bad idea indeed:...

Cruz Azul Fan Tries To Shake Hands With Cruz Azul Player, Starts Massive Brawl, Is Rescued By Other Team
Just shake the guy's hand and have a laugh. You don't need to knock him down and kick him. Because that would make any proud fan upset. Here's the play-by-play: A Cruz Azul fan takes the field after his team goes down by three goals. He approaches Gerrardo Torrado with sarcastic salutations. Torra...

Ronaldinho's Website Subjected To Only Known Bin Laden/Jar Jar Binks-Themed Hack Ever
On Friday, Ronaldinho's agent realized that the Flamengo star's personal website had been hacked, and that probably all eight visitors to the site that day had seen the offensive adjustments: Ronaldinho, paired with photos of Jar Jar Binks and Osama bin Laden. The hacker, "TeRoRisTe_Mc," is apparent...

Watch Cristiano Ronaldo Tie The Spanish League Goal Scoring Record
After knocking in these two free kicks against Villarreal yesterday, Ronaldo upped his goal tally to 38 on the season, tying the record set by Athletic Bilbao's Telmo Zarra in 1951 and matched in 1990 by Real Madrid's Mexican striker Hugo Sanchez. Ronaldo also opened up a 14-point lead in the Gold...

When AC Milan Won The Italian Soccer Title, A Player Paid Homage To Michael Jackson
First, it was a hideous statue outside English Premier League team Fulham's stadium. Now, Michael Jackson continues exerting posthumous control over the living world of soccer; this time, Kevin Prince Boateng of AC Milan did a damn good impression as AC Milan celebrated winning the Scudetto (aka S...

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...

Presenting Manchester City's FA Cup Winning Goal
A blistering strike by Yaya Toure (aka Toure Yaya) which got past Stoke City goalkeeper Thomas Sorensen in the 74th minute of today's FA Cup final won Manchester City its first trophy in 35 years. They were happy....