soccer Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We have a new standard for pants-filling
When it comes to truly historic pants-shittings, they generally get to be known simply by the name of the place they took place. Say “Belo Horizonte” to any fan with even a reasonable amount of soccer knowledge, and they’ll know it was Germany 7-1 Brazil. Except that was a deeply flawed Brazil team ...

Miles Robinson’s injury leaves USMNT in a bind
The conversation can’t be delayed. Procrastinating about specific personnel decisions that will expose Gregg Berhalter’s future at the helm of the United States men’s national team are now harmful to delay after this weekend. Miles Robinson went from World Cup lock to out of the 23-man roster being ...

FIFA forgoing $150 million annually to pursue delusions of grandeur
Like people who are addicted to Coca-Cola products, gamers can spot a knockoff within the first three seconds of tasting one. Try giving a Coke lover a Pepsi, and they get offended. A waiter responding to a request for a Coke with, “We only have Pepsi. Is that OK?” is met with a laugh more often tha...

Marcelo booted from Lyon locker room for excessive farts, laughter
Brazilian soccer player Marcelo couldn’t stop busting ass in the Lyon locker room and laughing about it. His flatulence became too much for his teammates to handle, as ESPN reported his farting and cackling about crackin’ a rat was the reason behind Marcelo’s expulsion from Lyon last August....

Christian Pulisic’s dad is every U.S. soccer fan right now
Christian Pulisic is the closest thing to he who was promised for American soccer fans who have been pining for a legitimate star. I’m not sure what’s the equivalent to being brought onto Chelsea after a successful start to a career at Dortmund, but the closest approximation I can think of is going ...

Women athletes are being mistreated across the board
How many times can the system fail its female athletes? Today’s newest report of an abusive coach from The Athletic feels like it’s just the next in a long line of the mistreatment of female athletes by their coaches and institutions willingly overlooking complaints....

That was MLS’s biggest night
Perhaps there have been too many markers as “MLS’s biggest night” that the words have lost all meaning. So many stadium openings (which is good! Except for those that might have been opened on the public dime), or MLS Cup finals, or TV deals, or expansion teams joining the fray (and definitely not a...

Atlético Madrid are being delightfully bitchy
There are some traditions in sports that, while aesthetically pleasing, aren’t really enjoyed by the players all that much. The handshake line in the NHL playoffs comes to mind. While we enjoy what we think of as the ultimate act of sportsmanship, talk to a lot of players privately and they’d tell y...

Thiago just plays a different song, man
It would be near impossible to describe what Liverpool did to Manchester United on Tuesday without getting graphic, and perhaps using a squib or two. And believe me, I’ve tried, because I’m well aware the Reds may never beat their biggest rival by a combined 9-0 in two league games again, and I’m so...

Let’s open up Marshawn Lynch’s portfolio
One of the names you may not have expected to be mentioned as an up-and-coming business tycoon is former Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch. For many fans, Lynch is primarily known for his infamous phrase, “I’m here so I won’t get fined.” He wasn’t always the most agreeable player during h...

The NWSL has some good Twitter beef
If Drive to Survive on Netflix has taught us anything, it’s that people love the story behind the story, and it can rocket the popularity of a sport if they allow people to see it. But you don’t need a Netflix special to get into some personality and character. Twitter can do that for you, as long a...

The USMNT is crafty in the middle but dangerous at both ends… to themselves
Being panicky and reactionary about the USMNT is now part of the deal. Perhaps it’s a sign we’re growing up. Fuck, three weeks ago, the US qualified for next fall’s World Cup (and got something of a favorable draw), Christian Pulisic was starting regularly for Chelsea — looking good doing it, too — ...

USMNT in the knockout round! An Argentina-Brazil semifinal! Oh, Canada! (and more World Cup predictions)
Instead of a World Cup taking place in the summer, we’re waiting until the late fall for the festivities to start to get to a manageable playing temperature in Qatar. The 2022 FIFA World Cup draw took place a few weeks ago, giving a path to the 37 teams still in contention to lift the trophy. Four w...

Women tries, fails to glue herself to NBA floor
The animal rights protestors never fail to keep us entertained (remember when they wanted to rename the bullpen in baseball?), and Glue Lady is no different. Late in the second quarter of the play-in game between the Timberwolves and the Clippers last night, the cameras cut away from a Minnesota fre...

Spanish soccer league coach walks onto field, stops opposing team’s counter attack in 89th minute
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been agonizingly close to capturing that digital championship on a season of Madden or FIFA only to have the computer pull some lucky bullshit and ruin hours worth of investment....

So what will MLS do about its TV ratings?
When setting up for the current MLS season, which started the last weekend of February, one of the major themes was the league locking in its new TV deal sometime in March. MLS’s TV deal has been paltry when compared to the other sports leagues ($90m a year), and there was a feeling that while the n...

To the death, then
The only result between Manchester City and Liverpool this morning that would have made it a “title decider” (which is how it was built by every outlet broadcasting it) was a City win. A four-point gap at this point in the season, requiring City to fuck up two games in the run-in while Liverpool to ...

Lost in Liverpool’s pursuit of a quad is Man City’s potential treble
With Tiger Woods falling out of contention and Sunday at Augusta turning into a sleepy 3-year-old crashing off of sugar, wake yourself up by flipping on probably the biggest game of the English Premier League season. Man City sits atop the table but only barely. Liverpool, still chasing a potential ...

The Rock’s XFL rebrand is a retread of Sue Bird and Alex Morgan’s Togethxr media company
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s XFL revival, scheduled to begin in 2023 after the former wrestler bought the league from a bankrupt Vince McMahon for $15 million following an inaugural season cut short by COVID, introduced a new visual brand identity earlier this week....

Man United reportedly set to hire Erik Ten Hag, which raises more questions than answers
Perhaps the ink isn’t dry, but it sure feels like current Ajax manager Erik Ten Hag is going to be leaving for Old Trafford after this season. Which is funny as all the reports of his hiring started spilling out just hours after SI made it pretty clear that the Man United board wasn’t exactly blown ...