Women tries, fails to glue herself to NBA floor

The animal rights protestors never fail to keep us entertained (remember when they wanted to rename the bullpen in baseball?), and Glue Lady is no different. Late in the second quarter of the play-in game between the Timberwolves and the Clippers last night, the cameras cut away from a Minnesota free throw to show a woman sitting on the court just below the opposite basket, surrounded by refs, security guards, and T-Wolves guard Patrick Beverley, who tried to help her up before she appeared to point out that she was on the floor on purpose.

The commentators on the broadcast thought that a fan had fallen over or fainted, but TNT’s sideline reporter spoke with security guards, who said that the woman had attempted to glue her wrists to the floor of the basketball court and refused to get up.

Of course, our first question: What type of glue? I can’t imagine that Elmer’s would be a very effective sticking agent, but Gorilla Glue would have made it a lot more difficult for security to pull her off the ground — unless it hadn’t dried yet. Was it a stick? Was it pre-applied? Where is the glue container? So much left unanswered, really. Let’s hope that the glue brand name is never released — that would be terrible press, as it was pretty much completely ineffective in doing the one thing glue is supposed to do: stick.

After the incident, which didn’t even last a full minute, an animal rights activism group called Direct Action Everywhere put out a press release claiming responsibility for the glue protest. In the press release, they wrote that Glue Lady, who they named as Alicia Santurio, was wearing a shirt that said “Glen Taylor roasts animals alive,” referring to the Timberwolves’ majority owner. The television cameras didn’t catch that one, as she was quickly escorted off the court, the glue apparently ineffective.

Per the press release, Santurio was protesting the reported “mass killing” of five million chickens at an Iowa egg farm owned by Taylor due to an outbreak of bird flu.

Across the pond, protestors have been running onto soccer fields mid-game throughout the past few weeks and attempting to tie or handcuff themselves to goalposts in what is, according to the shirts they’re wearing, a stand against the use of fossil fuels and oil. There have been several game stoppages in the Premier League and Bundesliga while officials and security cut the ties and removed the protestors from the pitch.

After the interruption, the Timberwolves ended up winning 109-104, a victory helped on by Beverley’s tough defense and Anthony Edwards and D’Angelo Russell combining for 59 points. Minnesota will face the Memphis Grizzlies in the first round of the NBA playoffs.