soccer Page 240 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....
Sepp Blatter Says FIFA Will "Be Sucked Into A Black Hole" If Sepp Blatter Is Not Reelected FIFA President
Sepp Blatter, the international dictator disguised as FIFA president, wrote a letter to Italy's La Gazzetta dello Sport this week to warn the world that a failure to reelect him to a fourth term on the June 1 vote "could cause a tectonic movement with irreversible damage." Let's defer to him to set ...
Goalkeeper Gets His Angles Completely Right To Fool Striker
Quite what the goalkeeper in this clip was up to is anybody's guess — but it seemed to work. The La Paz stopper is so wrong he's right as he forces San Jose striker Maxi Andrade to smash the ball into the post....
Man U Manager Alex Ferguson Charged With Earnestly Complimenting A Referee
Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United who recently served a five-game suspension and paid a £30,000 fine for criticizing a referee after a 2-1 loss in March, has once again been charged with improper conduct for publicly speaking about a referee....
Your Daily Update About Horrible Scottish-Soccer Fans
Remember yesterday when a Heart of Midlothian fan wearing a Yankees hat decided to take a running swing at Celtic manager Neil Lennon?...
MLS Rivalry That No One Cares About Takes To The Highway
Billboards! We love billboards. Love it when someone has something so important to say, they can't afford to run the risk of not telling a passing motorist....
Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....
Here's Video Of A Scottish Soccer Fan Attacking A Scottish Soccer Manager Earlier Today
With a 3-0 win over Heart of Midlothian (aka Hearts) at Tynecastle Stadium in Edinburgh, Scotland, Celtic moved to within one point of Rangers for the Scottish Premier League title. But, here's the real story:...
Luke Rodgers Will Burn Off Your Face, Landon Donovan
Petchesky alerted you this morning to the minor dust-up between Landon Donovan and new Red Bulls striker Luke Rodgers, in which the Englishman called the Yank a (genitalia)head. Donovan may very well act like an entitled whinger but Rodgers should hardly be chucking stones when calling people a dick...
Try To Look Surprised: England Says World Cup Voters Asked For Bribes
Ever since the good, godfearing Anglo nations were shut out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, rumors have flown that Russia and Qatar bribed their way to the top. No one would be surprised because it's FIFA, but it was also sour grapes. And maybe it still is, but this time England is naming names....
Turkish Soccer Fans Injure 25 Police Officers Rather Than Let Visiting Fans Into Their Stadium
No, this is not footage of a coup d'état in Turkey, this is footage of the violence that broke out between soccer fans before the Bursaspor-Beşiktaş game this past Saturday. The Turkish Football Federation had to cancel the game after angry fans rioted, injuring 25 policemen....
MLS Salaries Make No Secret Of MLS Plan To Create NY-LA Rivalry
In MLS Commissioner Don Garber's perfect world, the two biggest markets in the country would have the two best teams. These teams would, of course, be the New York Red Bulls and the LA Galaxy. They would be better than the other teams but not so much better that fans in smaller markets would give up...
Is This The Ultimate Insult To A Rival Team?
Your hated geographic rivals are suffering one of the worst humiliations in their 130-year history. What's a devoted fan who takes pleasure from the misery of others to do? Fly a goddamn airplane banner over their stadium....
An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...
By The Looks Of Things, The Texas Rangers Mascot Is Hung Like The Palomino Horse It Purports To Be
Your morning roundup for May 7, the first Saturday after the gays seized control of Atlantic City....
Alejandro Bedoya Does The Bernie After Scoring A Nice Goal In Sweden
American international Alejandro Bedoya has been bagging goals for his Swedish team Orebro. He's also importing some American low-culture to Scandinavia. Here he is doing The Bernie, which in case you weren't already aware was inspired by the dead guy in "Weekend at Bernie's" and resembles The Dou...
Wild Australian Horse Decides To Run Away From A Steeplechase Course And Over The Crowd
Your morning roundup for May 6, the day Willie Mays becomes an octogenarian....
Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....
Watch A Former German Soccer Player Go Off On The Al-Jazeera Guys In Broken English
Lothar "Loddar" Matthäus had major problems with his Al-Jazeera associates at a UEFA Champions League match between Bayern Munich and Inter Milan in March. Specifically, they'd assigned the translator they promised him to an Italian....
This Flying Kick Got A Kazakh Soccer Player Banned For Life
This footage, taken during a post-game brawl on April 16 this year, has just turned up. It shows Kairat's Armand Masimzhanov delivering a brutal flying kick to a Lokomotiv player at the end of their match. Masimzhanov was banned for life from the Kazakhstan Football Federation for "terrible cruelt...