soccer Page 275 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: This Guy?
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like this Mozambique soccer fan, who is thrilled....I guess? He's either elated or just got hit with a cattle prod. It could go either way....
English-American Alliance To Be Torn Asunder By Soccer
World Cup 2010 is going to be the Revolution and 1812 rolled into one and deep fried, only like....10,000 times more awesomer. Uncle Sam should lend-lease England a couple extra butts, so there's even more limey arse to kick!...
This Policy Would Bankrupt The Adams Division
After a shameful 9-1 thumping at Tottenham, Wigan's players will personally reimburse fans for their tickets. However, the trip from Greater Manchester to London was the first time Latics supporters experienced culture, and as such won't be refunded. [Wigan Athletic]...
Break Ireland's Heart Again, In Crappy Flash Form
Finally, it's the Thierry Henry Handball game. My high score so far is 47 goals, and 18 Irishmen drinking themselves to death. [Jeu De Main]...
Hell Hath No Fury Like A League Two Side Fan Scorned
A Grimsby Town FC supporter unleashes a foulmouthed rant of epic proportions at his hapless team. Brits have long said American sports fans lack passion, but now I just think they all have Tourette's. [No Spain No Gain]...
Last Night's Winner: France Haters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like France, who finally regained their rightful place as Europe's most reviled country. We really missed dumping on those cheese eaters....
Old Logic: France Surrenders. New Logic: France Cheats
Ireland's World Cup dreams die, and France's live on, thanks to a goal that saw two strikers clearly offside, and a pair of blatant Thierry Henry handball assists to boot. The Irish, as you might expect, aren't taking this well....
Elizabeth Lambert Comes Full Circle
New Mexico roughhouser Elizabeth Lambert has done it all—she beat up a chick on television, became a national pariah, then a cautionary tale, and now has a soft-focus mea culpa in The New York Times. Next stop: Hollywood!...
Manchester United Player Mows Your Lawn. Literally.
Man U. winger Gabriel Obertan makes £20,000 a week even though he's out with an injury—so the team has him pruning bushes and washing cars to earn his keep. [TheSun, via Unprofessional Foul]...
Beat That, Dr. James Andrews
Arsenal striker Robin van Persie plans to treat his injured ankle by smothering it in placental fluid. Funny, because that description fairly well sums up Cristiano Ronaldo's fling with Paris Hilton. [Guardian]...
Incompetent Soccer Child Is Also Adorable
Good thing this little girl lives in America. If this were Colombia, she'd be murdered for her own goal. (And if it were China, she would have been aborted five years ago for being a girl.)...
Algerian Soccer Team Did Not Sign Up For This
Check out this ridiculous footage of the Algerian bus under siege from rock-throwing Egyptian hooligans. Say....does anyone want my ticket for their World Cup qualifier this weekend? I suddenly have to be somewhere else. [Goal.com, DirtyTackle]...
The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....
Media Continues Psycho-Social Deconstruction Of Elizabeth Lambert, Chick Fights
""Video of the incident has spurred a national debate about sportsmanship, gender roles, double standards regarding aggressiveness and news media coverage and the sexualized portrayal of female athletes." Don't forget Freudian photos of women giving birth to soccer balls. [NYTimes]...
Girls Soccer Is Now The Ultimate Combat Sport
You thought New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert was tough? Wait until you see the next generation of female soccer hooligans who will take over America with their very unladylike football skills....
Chelsea! Man U! Dental Hygiene!
A thrilling 1-0 game between the clubs atop the table is no reason for this Chelsea supporter to forget to brush his teeth mid-match. [Off The Post]...
Elizabeth Lambert Is Now America's Greatest Villain
The internet is both titillated and enraged (pretty standard for the internet, actually) over the video of an angelic young soccer player nearly decapitating her opponent via ponytail yanking. But does she deserve your scorn or your pity?...
You Really Don't Want To See This
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Okay, I'll Be The One To Say It...This Is Hot
BYU and New Mexico had one of the only the chippiest women's soccer games you'll ever see....
How Many Polish Soccer Goalies Does It Take To Write A Homophobic Book?
Arek Onyszko was kicked off his Danish soccer club after writing a book titled "Fucking Polack" (seriously), including passages like "I hate gays, I really do." Really? Because the Chinese character tattoos on your beautifully sculpted abs say otherwise. [Brooks]...