soccer Page 280 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Now A Nice Photo Of A Man Getting Kicked In The Face
No, it's not Champions League, but it is a good way to show off the WSJ's outstanding "Sports Snapshot" photo blog-a-majig. Amazingly, the man getting kicked in the head is Houston Dynamo forward Brian Ching who used that very same dented dome to score a goal later in the game....

Only The British Can Make Soccer Sound Like Fellatio
The Guardian, liveblogging Barca-Man U: "Stroke … pass … triangle … slide-rule pass … back-heel … tip … tap … slide-rule pass … neat triangle … neat triangle … neat triangle … through-ball … languid stroke … flick … trap … deft touch … chest … clatter … hoof." [Guardian]...

Barcelona and Manchester United Fight Over World's Remaining Marbles
I think I can say without hyperbole that for soccer nuts, today is like Christmas, Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one—only 100 million times bigger. It's the UEFA Champions League Final Day ... and you stupid Yanks are stuck at work!...

Blowing The Whistle: Turkish Soccer Ref Forced Out Because He's Gay
A Turkish soccer referee has lost his job on account of his liking dudes. Horrors!...

Manchester United Secures Third Straight Premier League Title
A 0-0 draw with Arsenal did the trick. Man U is now tied with Liverpool with 18 titles all-time. And now I'm going to stop talking about soccer before I get something wrong....

Kill The Referee! (Starting With These Guys)
Here's a list you don't want to be on: The most notable referees who have been threatened with death for being bad at their jobs. It's not a very select group, either. [Off The Post]...

Chelsea Is Not Taking Their Champions League Defeat Well
Barcelona pulled off a miraculously late rally to win their Champions League semi-final slugfest over Chelsea yesterday, but the defeated English are having some trouble coping. At least no one has hung themselves! Yet....

Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life
Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead....

Arsenal Fan Commits Suicide After Champions League Wipeout
A Kenyan soccer fan hung himself—in his Arsenal jersey—after his favorite team got thumped by Manchester United in the Champions League yesterday. That is not dealing well with defeat....

Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Head On Fire?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Mexican Soccer Player Red Carded For Swine Flu
Speaking of bold, unexpected strategies—Guadalajara defender Hector Reynoso has been banned from international competition because he spit and sneezed on opposing players and then told them he had swine flu....

The Deadspin Pub Celebrates El Clasico
Barcelona is on the road to face Real Madrid in El Clasico, the marquee match on this weekend's schedule. Plus a full slate of action in the English Premier League....

Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....

Welcome To Chandler Stadium (Please Wipe Feet Before Entering)
The Rochester Rhinos of the United Soccer League will name their stadium after you or your organization for a thousand bucks. Although like with CitiField, you may be bankrupt within the year. [Democrat And Chronicle]...

Brazilian Soccer Coach Pulls A Woody Hayes
Santilli's team was losing 1-0 on Sunday when he ran out on to the field to retrieve a loose ball, but as he returned to the sideline he decided to lower his shoulder into a player for the opposing team for no reason whatsoever. (Because he was brushed on the shoulder by a 60-year-old man, the playe...

Defeated Soccer Team Welcomed Home With Cheers, Death Threats
This Argentine squad arrived at their home airport after a rough 2-0 defeat to a Mexican team that knocked them out of a major international tournament, a loss so crushing that their manager resigned after the game. It was such a tough road environment that fans at the game in Mexico were chanting d...

How Does This Help Us Play Soccer Again?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Kiss Cam Makes The Ladies Wet
These happy, affectionate Hamburg fans are just minding their own business, grinning eerily, picking each other up, and sharing a kiss to celebrate their favorite team's goal against Manchester City, as is the German custom, when BAM - beer to the head. The German commitment to austerity is commenda...

Soccer Player Receives Yellow Card For Farting
A Chorlton Villa footballer "broke wind" during a penalty kick and received a yellow card for his efforts. (And the other team got a re-kick.) When did they change the "he who smelt it" rule? [BBC]...