soccer Page 287 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arms Race Gets Second and Larger Arm
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Meet the new world power in soccer, the United Arab Emirates. Actually as people, they suck at the game. The national side is currently 104th (out of 208) in FIFA's World Rankings. But the Emirates have something more important than athletic ...

It Shoulda Been You, Bud Selig
Coming soon through Pendant Publishing, the autobiographical thriller: I Was Locked In the Loo: The Giovanni Cobolli Gigli Story. What do you do when you're afraid your league president is being uncooperative? Lock him in the restroom, of course. Oh soccer, you're so cute. (For the record, I tried t...

Whatever Happened to a Good Old Fashioned Headbutt?
Score one for the extraordinarily thin-skinned. A judge in Naples, Italy recently awarded 1500 Euro to a fan of the Napoli Football Club for "existential damages" he incurred while attending a match against Inter Milan. The cause of the damages? Banners. But not just any banners. Banners that made l...

Roman Abramovich's Fantasy Football Team Is Better Than Yours
Apparently Roman Abramovich doesn't like being first runner-up. After completing the silver sweep last season—finishing second in the Premier League, the Carling Cup, and the Champions League—the Russian billionaire owner of Chelsea FC responded by purchasing half of the Portuguese-speaking world. F...

They Must Be Coming By Sea
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Arsene Wenger would have made a good captain for the Titanic. That has less to do with any nautical skills that he may or may not have, than it does with hubris. This is an Arsenal side he has claimed in print has the ability ...

City Wins Big Despite Losing Richards, Deco Is the Difference For Chelsea
Manchester City's 3-0 drubbing of woeful West Ham was marred early in the second half when Micah Richards went down with a head injury after a midair collision with new teammate Tal Ben Haim. City's young star was treated by medical personnel on the pitch before being taken away on a stretcher. Aft...

Deadspin Interview: ESPNsoccernet's Lindsey Dolich
Lindsey Dolich has been documenting women's soccer for ESPNsoccernet and ESPN the Magazine in a freelance manner for about a year and has been the Ron Jaworski of these Olympics, breaking down each strategy and player in a highly detailed fashion that is instantly accessible to the casual soccer fa...

The Spurs Could Really Use a Hug Right Now
Tottenham took to the pitch this morning without the services of Dimitar Berbatov for the second straight week, and once again they failed to secure a single point. The frustrated Bulgarian striker wasn't even in attendance to watch his (soon to be former) teammates drop a 2-1 decision against Sund...

Argentina Live Up to Their Gold Medal Aspirations
Argentina's men's basketball team may have come up short against the United States, but their heavily favored soccer team laid claim to a gold medal of their own. Angel Di Maria's chip shot past Ambrose Vanzekin was all the Argentines needed to defeat Nigeria in a brilliantly contested Olympic gold...

Tom Brady Is Secretly Fuming
Why, gaygolddigers.com? Why was I left off the list yet again? Manchester United midfielder Cristiano Ronaldo was named Ultimate Gay Icon by the web site, beating, as Goal.com put it, "stiff competition from celebrities such as Kylie Minogue, Elton John and David Beckham." Hmm. Personally I think th...

Tell Us How You Really Feel, Mates
The place: London, England. The sport: Nonleague soccer. The opponents: Welling United and Maidstone United. The situation: The goalie (not sure which team) has just allowed a soft goal, causing fans to spell out their displeasure in no uncertain terms. It really is ingenious, but may also be NSFW, ...

A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...

Welcome to England, Monsieur Nasri
The English Premier League's new season is officially underway, and newcomer Samir Nasri has already made his mark with Arsenal. The dynamic young Frenchman scored the Gunners lone goal in this morning's (lunchtime over there) first match against newly promoted West Bromwich Albion. Arsenal dominat...

Michael Bertin Is Your New Closer
Unfortunately, we could not wrestle away previous soccer mom David Hirshey from his other "job" even though we offered him a drum full of mustache balm and unreleased nude photos of Pele to continue with us. The man simply wouldn't budge. No fear, though, because your weekly footie fix will be fille...

As the Season Looms Clubs Look to Reload
Whether or not you can believe it, the English Premier League season is right around the corner. While tomorrow's Community Shield match between league champions Manchester United and the FA Cup winners from Portsmouth marks the unofficial opening of the ten-month season the official matches begin ...

Bayern Munich Unveils New Soccer Uniforms With Models and Techno Dance
Sometimes we think that American sports teams have lost all grip with reality. Then we get a video like this from Europe. Honestly, I'm almost speechless. My favorite thing from this video, and there are many, is the photographers jostling with one another to get the perfect shot. If you were a phot...

When Premier League, MLS Fans Rumble
A friendly? I think not. It was only a matter of time before British soccer hooligans met MLS fans on the field of battle. Columbus, Ohio, represent! There may be paperboys, cheerful mailmen and elderly women tending flower gardens, but they're still the mean streets, yo. But now, let us focus on th...

Trouser Snakes On A Plane
Remember that scene in Airplane where everyone starts freaking out that the pilots are sick and then, pow, some topless chick runs right in front of the camera? That was the first time I ever saw an unclothed pair of boobies in cinema ... while watching it with my parents. They didn't realize that w...

World Cup 2010: South Africa's Plans to Legalize Prostitution Scrutinized
When are John McCain and Barack Obama going to step up to the plate and demand legalization for the Super Bowl? Pansies, I tell you, each of them. The South African plan would only legalize prostitution for the length of the World Cup and then the laws would return to normal. Just like the marriages...

MLS Player Leaves Soccer Headed to Priesthood
Yep, American soccer has arrived. And I say that as a big soccer fan. Chase Hilgenbrinck, a reserve defender for the New England Revolution, is retiring at the age of 26 to enter a Maryland seminary. Hilgenbrinck will spend six years at the seminary before he can become a priest. Per the AP....