soccer Page 288 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Argentina Live Up to Their Gold Medal Aspirations
Argentina's men's basketball team may have come up short against the United States, but their heavily favored soccer team laid claim to a gold medal of their own. Angel Di Maria's chip shot past Ambrose Vanzekin was all the Argentines needed to defeat Nigeria in a brilliantly contested Olympic gold...
Tom Brady Is Secretly Fuming
Why, gaygolddigers.com? Why was I left off the list yet again? Manchester United midfielder Cristiano Ronaldo was named Ultimate Gay Icon by the web site, beating, as Goal.com put it, "stiff competition from celebrities such as Kylie Minogue, Elton John and David Beckham." Hmm. Personally I think th...
Tell Us How You Really Feel, Mates
The place: London, England. The sport: Nonleague soccer. The opponents: Welling United and Maidstone United. The situation: The goalie (not sure which team) has just allowed a soft goal, causing fans to spell out their displeasure in no uncertain terms. It really is ingenious, but may also be NSFW, ...
A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...
Welcome to England, Monsieur Nasri
The English Premier League's new season is officially underway, and newcomer Samir Nasri has already made his mark with Arsenal. The dynamic young Frenchman scored the Gunners lone goal in this morning's (lunchtime over there) first match against newly promoted West Bromwich Albion. Arsenal dominat...
Michael Bertin Is Your New Closer
Unfortunately, we could not wrestle away previous soccer mom David Hirshey from his other "job" even though we offered him a drum full of mustache balm and unreleased nude photos of Pele to continue with us. The man simply wouldn't budge. No fear, though, because your weekly footie fix will be fille...
As the Season Looms Clubs Look to Reload
Whether or not you can believe it, the English Premier League season is right around the corner. While tomorrow's Community Shield match between league champions Manchester United and the FA Cup winners from Portsmouth marks the unofficial opening of the ten-month season the official matches begin ...
Bayern Munich Unveils New Soccer Uniforms With Models and Techno Dance
Sometimes we think that American sports teams have lost all grip with reality. Then we get a video like this from Europe. Honestly, I'm almost speechless. My favorite thing from this video, and there are many, is the photographers jostling with one another to get the perfect shot. If you were a phot...
When Premier League, MLS Fans Rumble
A friendly? I think not. It was only a matter of time before British soccer hooligans met MLS fans on the field of battle. Columbus, Ohio, represent! There may be paperboys, cheerful mailmen and elderly women tending flower gardens, but they're still the mean streets, yo. But now, let us focus on th...
Trouser Snakes On A Plane
Remember that scene in Airplane where everyone starts freaking out that the pilots are sick and then, pow, some topless chick runs right in front of the camera? That was the first time I ever saw an unclothed pair of boobies in cinema ... while watching it with my parents. They didn't realize that w...
World Cup 2010: South Africa's Plans to Legalize Prostitution Scrutinized
When are John McCain and Barack Obama going to step up to the plate and demand legalization for the Super Bowl? Pansies, I tell you, each of them. The South African plan would only legalize prostitution for the length of the World Cup and then the laws would return to normal. Just like the marriages...
MLS Player Leaves Soccer Headed to Priesthood
Yep, American soccer has arrived. And I say that as a big soccer fan. Chase Hilgenbrinck, a reserve defender for the New England Revolution, is retiring at the age of 26 to enter a Maryland seminary. Hilgenbrinck will spend six years at the seminary before he can become a priest. Per the AP....
Soccer Players + Technology = Hilarious Blunders
This is Ashley-Paul Robinson, a 19-year-old winger for London's Crystal Palace. Like many 19-year-olds, he has a Facebook page. And also like many 19-year-olds, he posted something there about his latest job search. Problem is, it was details of a secret negotiation with another team. Oops....
This Man May Have Some Aggression Issues
You may not recognize 28-year-old Rannord Jones from his mugshot, but it's probably because his teeth aren't attached to the chin of a soccer referee. Jones, who Delaware police charged with felony assault, abuse of a sports official, terroristic threats and harassment, after that ridiculous inciden...
Spanish Bombs
“Spanish bombs, yo te quiero infinito yo te quiero oh mi corazón Spanish bombs, yo te quiero infinito yo te quiero oh mi corazón” – “Spanish Bombs”, The Clash...
Here Kid, Have A Mercedes
So there's this occupation in European soccer called boot boy, which is a kind of apprenticeship in which a young player does chores around the clubhouse (so I'm told). The pay is low, but I hear the tips are fabulous. This item is a couple of weeks old, but it's the first I've heard of it: Birmingh...
The Post Is Certain To Experience Technical Difficulties
“It's like how much more black could this be? And the answer is none, none more black.” – Nigel Tufnel...
Is There Any Way Turkey Pulls Off The Upset?
Forgive me if my memory from that night in Frankfurt, Germany two years ago is a little hazy. It definitely included conversations with members of Germany’s Stampede Wrestling Federation. And yes, the Gypsy Kings, “Volare” blared over the speakers on repeat. There may or may not have been an appear...
Still Dancing In Turkey
“I don’t believe … what I just saw.” – Jack Buck, 1988 World Series Game 1, after Kirk Gibson’s walk off home run off Dennis Eckersley....
Spain vs. Italy: Extra Time
We're back live after a short intermission before the beginning of extra time. We're in for another thirty minutes of this, so get comfortable. Spain has already been peppering Italy with shots, but nothing is making its way to the goal. Silva just fired a rocket wide that would have sent chills th...