soccer Page 303 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In The Premiership...
• Aston Villa 0-3 Manchester United. The win means that Manchester United will hold on to the top spot in the league, no matter what Chelsea does against Wigan this afternoon. Had United lost, Chelsea would've been able to grab the lead in the standings, which would have been sort of depressing and ...

You Can't Really Blame This One On Isiah
Here's what we love about soccer fights; no matter how heated things get, they still won't use their hands. You kick your opponent, and then run away (that part seems to be universal). Our two favorite aspects of this melee between Barcelona and Ecuador on Tuesday are the length — it seems to go on ...

Soccer Player To Enjoy A Year Of Imaginary Freedom
Tired of American sports figures causing mayhem with actual weapons? We present Gary Charles, a former professional English soccer player who was arrested recently for threatening a bouncer with an imaginary knife. From the BBC:...

Bless This Pitch
So here's something potentially quite fun: The Vatican is considering fielding a soccer team....

Time To Cart Off 2006
Yes, it's beginning to smell like a new year, which means that we have our minds on only one thing: Our favorite stretcher-related video clips of 2006. Here they are in no particular order, although we have to say that No. 3 has a special place in our heart, because you just can't fake that kind of ...

Hirshey's Holiday Week Off
We are sorry to disappoint, but our main man David Hirshey is taking a week off from his weekly windings on the world of the English Premier League. (That's soccer, in case you forgot.) He sends the following explanation/report:...

Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 2-2 Portsmouth. Arsenal was able to claw out a point, despite facing a 2-0 deficit in the second half. Emmanuel Adebayor and Gilberto Silva scored just two minutes apart for the Gunners after Matt Taylor gave Portsmouth a 2-0 lead just after the break. Despite being just one point apart ...

Hirshey: A Game Even Dumb Newbies Could Love
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 3-1 Manchester City. Cross-town rivalries are fun, but... well, you'd prefer they were a little more competitive. Manchester City hasn't won at Old Trafford in 32 years, and goals from Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Louis Saha kept them from doing it today. City actually ...

Insert "They Couldn't Use Their Hands" Joke Here
Goddammit, why can't American athletes be as interesting and publicly debaucherous as British athletes? We mean, seriously....

Yeah, Take That, You Monstrous Goal Receptacle
We've been remiss in not mentioning the rather astounding celebration from UC Santa Barbara fans after their team upset UCLA to win its first-ever soccer national championship last weekend. In a rarity for American soccer fans, they went kind of nuts, swiping a goal post and throwing it into the oce...

Further Heavy Reading In The Land Of The Footie
It's a trend we like and would tend to encourage; passive-aggressive insults by European soccer fans. Bradford City, a League One soccer club, recently published a book about rival club Leeds United, entitled Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Not So Massive Club That Was Super L666ds, w...

So This Is What They Mean By A Friendly
We're no experts — perhaps Mr. Hirshey can help us out here — but we do know that this is just all kinds of wrong....

Hirshey: Sentencing The Children To A Lifetime Of Pain
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Today In The Premiership...
• Wigan 0-4 Liverpool. In Liverpool's game against Wigan Athletic today, Craig Bellamy struck twice. Oddly enough, he was accused of doing that very same thing during the week. Bellamy was charged with assaulting two women in a Cardiff nightclub, and was cleared of the charges earlier in the week...

We Hope They Turn Out Overweight And Lethargic
To celebrate his new big-ass contract for the Dodgers — and the inevitable shredding of some sort of tender tendon that will result — Nomar Garciaparra has found a fertile place in Mia Hamm that his seed might find purchase....

You Can't Use Your Hands OR Your Eyes
In the grand tradition of Beep Baseball, With Leather brings us the blind soccer World Cup, which we are immediately dispatching David Hirshey to cover....

Hirshey: Hey, Have Somebody Taste That Wine
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Today In The Premiership...
• Charlton 1-1 Everton. Look at that, Charlton didn't get their ass beat... much credit goes to new head coach Les Reed. In fact, Everton was fortunate to even get a tie with them, getting a lucky bounce off a defender's leg for their goal. Unfortunately, the one point they earned from this draw s...

Hey, Nice Brain Tumor, Idiot
As the Mighty MJD mentioned on Saturday, the pro-Ohio State group The Dead Schembechlers have disbanded due to the death of the actual Bo Schembechler. But we here in the U.S. do not have a monopoly on class. Over in England, Newcastle soccer coach Glenn Roeder had emergency life-saving surgery to...